Death....cannot stop thinking about it

And thank you Blacktabby2 for starting such a lovely and inspiring thread. Hope it has helped you in your journey because it certainly seems to have helped lots of other Grans.

Try to make sure someone always phones you each day or you phone them ,. The phone can be such a comfort especially if it’s someone who doesn’t mind you phoning late . I had a friend who sadly died last year age 98 . We used to have late night calls full of lovely reminincent conversations and it didn’t matter what time it was , Akso of you are a bit low on friends ,look up,old friends or join a knit and natter group,or something similar , being with people is the best medicine.xxxx

Your not alone believe me. In the past 20 years I have lost 2 daughters and my mother. I don't see much of my son and eldest daughter and my health is deteriorating, I'm 66 so that's to be expected but I can't help thinking what's the point. Now I'm losing the use of my hands and life just seems to be against me.

As an exnurse I found death usually took care of itself. It is (as you are experiencing) living that is more difficult at times.

Read the work of Thich Naht Hahn. I too just am recovering from a dorsal fall last year and may not be able to go back to work. The injury can lead to depression on top of mourning the passing of such important and significant people. I have learned how to meditate this past year (try Plum Village app on your phone). This is non denominational teaching of mindfulness in our daily lives. Every day is a gift with hidden messages from those who have gone ahead of us. Your joy is in you. Just hiding. Give yourself time to heal and meanwhile take nice long walks in the woods when you can. Blessings!

Thankyou to the recent posts and of course all of the replies. Your kind words have really helped. Bless you all xxx

I am 51. I lost my mom last December and have terrible guilt over it. I think about death a lot. I am nervous around my new grandson. I had two health scares this week. I just popped an Ativan to get through today. I have not done that in years. I am. Just so worried about everything.

You're not odd at all! Losing your parents is one of the most difficult things to come to terms with. Lost my mum nearly 40yrs ago and I think of her almost everyday. Lost my dad too about 10yrs later. Then a couple of years ago lost a SiL and FiL within weeks of each other. Around that time I was diagnosed with a heart condition out of the blue. It's a constant worry and always at the back of my mind.

I don't have any symptoms as yet and may never develop any. I try to do something enjoyable everyday, even just a walk or going to a garden centre. Trying to be positive can be hard sometimes but we all have to carry on the best we can. Best Wishes.

Just want to add that although you will be feeling emotionally raw right now, regarding your bereavements, it's true that it does get easier as time goes by. I've always tried to keep the memories of my parents alive by having a few photos of them around, including a couple of when they were young, before they married.

You have answered your own question , ie I have so much living to do. But I think you may have a little bit of work to do to convince yourself that worry will not help you to live or stop you or any of us from dying , but it will make your life miserable .

As well as my religious convictions about life and death, they seem to be confirmed in these words of Wordsworth:
"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:"
And we return there when we die - my words.

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Reorted

Oops reported, i.e post of 22.54

We have been married 63 years and husband has health problems, registered blind, catheter, dementia,mobility and we are housebound. He has been in hospital for 5days and has a follow up appointment for a scan.At the moment we can have a laugh together my worry is if we have to go to hospital he will be really upset and it will not achieve anything.

My sympathies chimes but you need to start a new thread rather than adding to this old one.

I agree with the poster who suggested Thich Nhat Hahn. If you look at Youtube he has several videos called No Fear No Death which you might find quite comforting at this time of worry..

Blacktabby, you are obviously very vulnerable after what has happened in your life and everything seems so much worse, when you are unwell.
I know for a fact that time is running out for me and sometimes, I get scared.
However, I have accepted that is my lot and intend to make the best of things and not dwell on it.

I now take each day as it comes and find pleasure the little things.

Sorry, I never checked the date!

I hope Blacktabby is feelng better.

I really don’t see what difference, it makes, if it is an old thread, I have found this very helpful and inspiring…