Gransnet forums

Bereavement

Daughter

(80 Posts)
sodapop Thu 16-May-19 16:30:34

That is so sad debohun, heart breaking news, I feel for you.
I would try to get in touch and as you say send love and an offer to help where you can.
I hope you hear back from your son in law.

Tedber Thu 16-May-19 16:24:11

oh how sad. I don't know the background to all this but from what you have said, I would definitely say thank you. In fact, I would probably go a little further and add how grateful you are and that if HE and the children ever want to visit then the door will always be open.

It is probably galling you even thinking about it but it is probably your only hope of keeping lines of communication open in the hope that, in time, he may realise how selfish he is being to his children.

It is dreadful that grandparents don't have any 'rights' as such. I have read lots of sad tales. Take care

leyla Thu 16-May-19 16:22:08

I'm very sorry to read such a sad post. Did you know that your daughter was ill? Yes, I would try to make contact to say thank you for letting us know such sad news and to send love. Sometimes death makes people review their lives - it's worth making contact anyway, but don't expect anything to come of it.
My sincere condolences to you.

grannylyn65 Thu 16-May-19 16:05:20

So very sad, I’m sorry x

debohunXL5 Thu 16-May-19 15:59:22

Today I have received a letter from my estranged SIL informing me that he has scattered my daughter's ashes in accordance with her Will.on 24th April. Our grandchildren aged 7 and 9 attended the ceremony reading their own Eulogy and choosing a song from Jess Glynne. He has sent photos and instructions of the location they have been scattered in our local woods. I know I should be grateful that he has informed me of this but as the letter was written as if from a Solicitor (very formal). I feel he has only informed me because I was an Executor of her Will and he is duty bound to inform me. Despite this I now feel she has come 'home' as he is now living some 3 hours away from us and it is some comfort to know she is nearby. There is a lot of animosity between us because of our separation from our grandchildren but I would think it may be a good idea to just say 'thank you and to ask him to pass on our love and thoughts to our grandchildren. It seems like closure to us and he has made a life with our grandchildren without us. Should we now just not try to contact him at all and leave them to get on with their lives and us with ours. It breaks our hearts every single day not to see or talk to them We have no contact with them, no address but we may be able to find out an e-mail address so that I could just say 'thank you and send our love. After all he could have left us in the dark and not tell us and we would have been none the wiser. I am asking GNs really should I just move on with our lives because it is causing us so much pain to hope we will ever see them again. Sorry for the long thread. Over to you please.sad