Someone smashed up my husbands grave

I am so sorry, first of all for your loss and now for this terrible act. Unfortunately, cemeteries do seem to attract unsavoury people. If you think your husbands grave is being deliberately targeted I would not hesitate in putting a camera in the vicinity to catch whoever is doing this. You can get tiny, unobtrusive ones that no one will guess are there. I would get police advice about doing this first, just to be sure of any legal implications. The only reason I suggest this is it is obviously preying on your mind, or you would not have posted here. I suggest this to get peace of mind, if the culprit is caught then hopefully, the matter will be sorted and you can continue with your visits in peace.

What vile thing to do. There's nothing I can say that seems adequate.

Unbelievable....so sorry for you Pink ??

I was so saddened to read this had happened to upset you Pink. There are some sick and disrespectful people about. I think it is lovely when people leave little personal things for loved ones on their graves. My Dad always took my boys to get conkers when they were small and they still both say every time they see a conker they think of him. when I went down to place flowers on my parents grave a few weeks ago my son came home with a conker and asked to me to take it down to his Grampa. I hope the heartless people who are doing this your dh grave stop.

It's hard to understand why people do things like this.

That's so awful, cruel Pink.
I can't add any more. Except that I agree that having some form of memorial to your dear husband in a safe place near your home sounds a good idea.
There have been many reports of vandalism in cemeteries in recent years. Another example of lack of respect from some young people for those who lived before them.

Pink, my deepest sympathies, what has happened to you was appalling. I do think, however, it is worth setting up a camera to watch the grave for a while. You can wipe or destroy any irrelevant coverage, so that other's priacy is not breached. I am sure they would understand, in case their grave was personalised.

It could just be silly kids, thinking it funny to pick on one grave and leave the rest alone as a way of enhancing a feeling of mystery.

That is so sad - what sort of people would do this?

Have your own private memorial elsewhere - maybe in a local wood or in your garden where you can remember him in peace without being exposed to the warped actions of the few.

Dear Pink, I was so sorry to read what you have had to contend with. All I can say is that I send my prayers and positive thoughts that this will be solved for you soon ..xx

I too think Suzie's suggestion is very good, especially in the short term. I planted iceberg roses and pansies when my mother died recently, her life-long favourites, because we followed her wishes to have a cremation. I know how important it is for those left behind to have an ongoing link through burial and what it means...hence, the plantings gives us much comfort.

That's truly shocking. I don't know how I'd feel if someone did that to my much loved Mum's grave. And this is your beloved husband!

Awful people.

Not sure how your husband's grave is positioned but you can get camouflaged cameras that could be directly focused on your husband's grave. This wouldn't impinge on other visitors.

I find this very distressing and I feel so sorry for you. I do hope that whoever this is stops. I would start over if I was you and defy the lowlives who have desecrated the grave. But that is a personal opinion. You'll do what's best for you.

I agree with Moggie so very sorry to read this.

This is terrible. I feel so sorry for you.

Pink I read your news with dismay. What a truly shocking thing to happen to your husband’s grave and how upsetting it must have been for you when you saw it. Just awful. Some good advice on here. I agree with Monica, go to the press. I also think, as someone suggested, it might not have been a person who knew your husband but just a random attack. The idea of it being a relative, however much they had fallen out, does seem unlikely. Surely nobody is that evil? As others have said, try to cultivate the special corner of your garden in memory of your late husband. ???

Really sad, so disrespectful. Do you visit on the same day every week? Would someone know the times or days?

This event is horrendous, made worse by it being personal. *PinkiieJJ27, you have all my sympathy

The police said what they did because if it is reported in the press they will have to take action, so it is in their interests for you not to report it. Ignore them and talk tot the papers.

Could you consider leaving the grave without anything for a year, so that those persecuting you think you have given up, then start tending it again. Hopefully they would be unlikely to notice this and leave it unharmed.

That's very sad pinkjj27 I wouldn't give this any more publicity though, there are some awful people around. The idea of having your own private memorial is a good one, may be a tree or a bush in your garden or another favourite place. Just keep your Dad's grave tidy and plain.

pink it’s not you, you have done nothing wrong
I m not even sure it’s your relatives I unfortunately think it’s vandals who maybe attacked your grave because they saw it was cared for so would make an impact
Terribly sad but it does happen I wish all cemetery’s had cctv or shuttheir gates at nighttime I ve seen pictures of kids sitting on graves drinking that should never happen

Thank you for answering so kind. I am so touched by all your replies thank you . Having someone to turn to that isn’t as emotionally involved really helped.

I am really aware of the rules and stick to them as I really respect the grave yard staff. The vases are the memorial type and allowed by the grave . there’s nothing that stops grass cutting and I myself have a cordless trimmer so I cut around the grave and others near it. I have the grave yard and they went to the plot and said there was nothing of any concern on that grave and they knew it well As I do cut grass the surrounding area.

Oh no that's terrible. Someone posted a video recently of some teenagers running through a graveyard smashing things up. I'm not sure it was in this country. Awful.

Shocking.

Horrendous! I feel so sorry for you. A CCTV camera does seem to me to be an excellent idea

Oh Pink......I feel so sorry for you. You go every week, how lovely !
Such nasty people about. Why can't they leave the dead in peace and give the bereaved, a chance to mourn them. Don't rise to the bait....they probably are waiting for a reaction. Keep visiting and keep leaving some flowers. They will eventually get fed up.
I am seriously thinking of having my ashes scattered. I doubt my children will have the time or inclination to visit me and lay flowers. My friend's husband passed away 5 years ago and I doubt she or the children have visited 5 or 6 times in all these years. It's all so sad.....people have no time for the living, let alone the dead.

Such a lot of good advice already so I can only add that I am sending you kind thoughts

Pink, I just wanted to say you have my sympathies. This is such an awful thing to do.