Not been informed of a bereavement.

They don’t want you there obviously.

Thanks for your blunt unhelpful post Kitty 1951. Do you think that I hadn't thought that? Question is why would they not want us there as there had been no falling out or disagreements.
We could have been told and also told that it would a committal for very close family members - wouldn't have had an issue with this.
Thanks also for making what has been a black depressing day for me even worse.

Thanks for the replies to my original post.
Zsarina - you have offered sound and sensible advice, thank you.
I shall now focus on the memories that we have of my brother in law, but still very sad about his passing.

I have not been informed of the sudden death of a friend. This was a long time ago, before mobiles but she knew my number off by heart and vice versa. We lived about 60 miles apart and when family were going through her address book I wasn't there, it was more acquantances and the plumber sort of thing. They were mortified about it but it wasn't a deliberate snub. They were grief-stricken and it was just one of those awful things.
I felt I hadn't said goodbye properly so I organised a picnic and a bottle of wine with another friend of hers in a favourite spot and we reminisced and laughed and cried and talked and laughed again until the sun went down. I really recommend doing this.

I would not use Facebook for family bereavements. Personally I don't think it is appropriate. In the past I have asked family members to contact others which seems acceptable. Facebook causes an awful lot of trouble when it comes to family events. Im also amazed at the personal stuff people put onto it.

I agree Facebook is not the way to pass on such news. In the past when we've had to do this we made up a list of key people to contact and divide up the phoning. Of course there's still newspaper intimations too but I suppose young people won't be looking at them. ?

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My children and I weren't told when their father died. I found out during my Epithany moment: waking up at 3:00 am last week compelled to search for his obituary notice.

The news was devastating but, even more devastating, was the fact that he had actually died four years earlier. He had taken his own life.

Unbelievably, his legal wife was also unaware of his passing. We had to break the news to her.

I'm still incredibly angry that my ex-husband's partner made no attempt to contact either myself, our children or his second wife.

No immediate family attended his cremation service.

I'm still incredibly angry. He was my first love at 16 and I'd known his wonderful family since I was 8 years old.

We had three beautiful children and he was a grandfather to one boy (6) and two girls (2 and 1).

Life can be so incredibly cruel. I'm still incredibly angry with him. Not surprising really.