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Bereavement

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Buried with first wife

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Urmstongran Tue 25-Jun-19 13:30:15

Similar to our situation. My parents just missed their silver wedding as dad died from cancer aged 47y. He was cremated. Mum remarried 15y later to a lovely man. She was then 60y.

Mum died last year and her ashes are with dad’s. Her wish. And her dear second husband was fine about it.

My 2nd dad had already told mum that he wants his ashes in the family plot up in the Highlands!

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Poppyred Tue 25-Jun-19 13:27:34

I think they would have discussed it beforehand and decided between them. Nothing for you to worry about.

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Gonegirl Tue 25-Jun-19 13:27:16

I would leave it up to her to be honest. No reason for you to feel uncomfortable when you visit your parents' grave.

paddyann's suggestion is probably the best solution but I'm sure she will decide for herself and leave her wishes.

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Jane10 Tue 25-Jun-19 13:21:26

Gosh. That's a really difficult one. No easy answers there. I wonder what the children and grandchildren think?

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paddyann Tue 25-Jun-19 13:21:07

can his 2nd wife arrange to be cremated and her ashes buried in his grave?

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Cherrytree59 Tue 25-Jun-19 13:18:41

I have just deleted a longer post as I realised it would outing and could cause upset.
So edited version....

My friend's father would have been married to his first wife (who I knew and liked) for about 30 years and was with his partner (who I know and like) for just over 30 years.
I had a feeling that he would be buried with his first wife and recently I was proven to be right as my friend's father has now sadly died .

I understand that for the adult children their mother and father are now together and from a financial point of view they already had plot but....
I feel so sorry for his long term partner who has nursed him through his long term illness.
She has been part of the family and a grandmother to his eight grandchildren.

The grandchildren were not even born when the first wife passed away.

The grave is close to my parents grave, so I see it when I visit and for some reason I feel really uncomfortable.

I would be interested to
read other GNers thoughts.

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