Death of my son

A close friend lost her daughter 6 years ago - she still cries a lot and says not everyone understands the devastation the loss has caused in their lives - even other family members. I'm sure your husband is struggling to find the words to comfort you and will be worried that you (to him) seem to not be coping. There is no time limit on grief and yours is still so raw. If you have no close friends to talk to please try to get help from the organisations mentioned above. No parent should outlive their child and it's an unimaginable pain. Please keep posting as others on here who have been through it will be a great support to you

nessie24 and all who have lost children my heart goes out to you, though I can't begin to imagine the pain. I have no advice but there seems to be plenty on here that may help.

nessie I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I expect your partner is worried about you when he says you should be over your grief by now but I don't suppose people ever get over the loss of a child - they just learn to live with it. Anyway, it's quite natural that you are still very sad and tearful.

If you feel you can't talk about your grief to your family or a close friend, I agree witht those who suggest you may find it helpful to open up to a bereavement counsellor.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You need to talk to someone, even the Samaritans will listen if you just want to talk about your son. Failing that perhaps a local church group might run a bereavement circle ?

Hugs for you virtual, but heartfelt.

My beloved elder daughter died November 2017. It will take time and you will work through stages of grief, there is no set
time , please get counselling, it can’t take away your pain but you will be able to express your deepest feelings.

We are here to listen x

Others have given good advice so I'll just say how sorry I am for your loss, Nessie24.

So sad for you Nessie. Grieve in your own way and in your own time.

So sorry for your loss. And a few months isn’t enough time to grieve. My sister lost her son years ago and yes she returned to work and went through the motions but I could see her pain everyday and don’t know how she coped. My heart goes out to you. Get some bereavement counselling.

I m shedding a tear for all who have lost their child it’s an unbearable thing the very worst thing to happen to anyone There is nothing I can say but a hug for each of you ?

I am so sorry nessie, no greater pain than losing one's child I'm sure. As others have said you can't possibly put a time limit on such a monumental loss. My husband lost his son over 10 years ago, he tells me you never get over that loss, but learn to come to terms with it in time. I do hope you draw some comfort from the support of those here who have unfortunately experienced your pain and know exactly what you are going through.

I hope you are able to contact a bereavement counselling service to talk you through your feelings, of course you can't get over something such as a death of a child in a matter of months.

Look after yourself

Everyone has their own way to grieve and your husband should respect that and support you .It wont go away but it wll become easier to live with over time so dont feel you have to put a face on things because others think you should .Give yourself the time you need,however long it takes and be kind to yourself .I hope you find some peace in your heart and are able to smile at your memories one day not too far in the future .

oh nessie24 it is far too soon to be getting over your grief. To lose a loved one is real heartbreak and to lose a child is always the worst so please be easy on yourself.
Your DP is out of order. He has to back off and be sympathetic.
You need to grieve.
Time wise we are told to expect at least 2 years to get over the worst. Of course you need to cry.
It's your beloved son.
Give yourself permission to cry, if you can explain to DP that he is not being understanding, and can he just let you be.
I wish all the best.

My DD died in May and I hope nobody attempts to put a time limit on my grief.

Some days I think I might be getting there and the next I'm poleaxed by it.

I can completely understand your feelings, nessie. I'm still at the stage where I can't bear to even look at photos.

I hope you find some help and advice.

Hi Nessie
My daughter took her own life in 2004 aged just 23,her whole life in front of her.

There is a huge Kate shaped hole that I have learned to walk round.

7 months is no time at all in the grieving,it will go on for a lifetime,but you will find acceptance in your own time and with that comes peace,but there are many stages to pass through to get there.

Be kind to yourself,your partner like mine at the time not my daughters father,and no children of his own was often clumsy,and I very sensitive and in pain found this hard to deal with.

I have learned how to laugh and live again, she is never far from my thoughts,and as painful as it has been,given the choice I would go back and have her all over again .

Big hugs Nessie from one mum to another [[[[[ ]]]]]

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine anything worse than losing your child. I don't have any advice, just sympathy.

nessie24 grief is all consuming, each of us grieve differently ????

Cruise were very helpful to me when the nhs wasn't able to offer me counselling.

The grief of the loss of a child or other person very close to you never goes a way - and certainly not in 8 months. When my sister died, I spent most of the next year driving to and from work with tears coursing down my face. My mother lived 6 years after the death of her daughter but, although she returned to 'normal', the grief was never very far below the surface and easily triggered.

As others have said, if the sympathy and support you need cannot be found at home, seek coinselling through your GP or contact The Samaritans or Compassionate Friends, they will understand and give you all the help and the listening ear you need.

- your grief is one that no parent can get over, and your partner is wrong to think you should be "over it." You need time to grieve and to face a new life without your son.

It may be that your partner simply does not know how to deal with this and that is why he seems to be saying the wrong things.

I do hope that you can find a good and sympathetic listening ear to help you at this time.

No advice Nessie but just wanted to offer my sincere condolences. I can’t begin to imagine the pain of losing a child .

Please please get proper professional help with this. Be prepared to pay if necessary.

No amount of counselling will make this OK but it may give you a safe space to air your feelings.

It's very recent.

I've said this before and that is I can't think of anything worse than losing your child, in this case a young man.
It takes at least two years to grieve, which is normal. Until you've passed Birthdays and Christmas's and other memorable moments in that person's life can you begin to heal inside.

My thoughts are with you x

So sorry to hear of your loss, it's only been a short period and grief is a process that takes to go through. Not that you will ever get over this loss but it will become easier. You can contact Cruse who will offer bereavement counselling, they have a website with details or go to your GP. Maybe talk to your family too, they may feel that they too need to talk about your son. Give yourself time and get some help. With best wishes.

Oh my God (I don't like to invoke God, but in this case, I must) how do you deal with such immeasurable grief? How do you carry on, after such a loss, but you must. 26 years....phew, that's tough.
Other posters have given you good advice. See your GP. I've heard of many people mention CRUSE. You do need to talk to other parents who have experienced similar tragedies.
I can't do much but send you some