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Bereavement

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Ex Partner

(7 Posts)
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Dee1012 Mon 02-Dec-19 16:57:47

My ex partner died in 2007, at the time of his death we'd been apart for 5 years.
Our parting was due to his alcoholism and I could write a novel on what we suffered through this.
When he died, the hospital contacted me... I was still listed as his 'next of kin' and due to his drinking, none of his family would get involved.
I talked it through with my son and we agreed that the right thing to do was step in and arrange things, which we did.
The love had long gone but I still felt a deep affection for the man he'd been.
The date of his birthday recently passed and for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks and I can't seem to shake it off.
I cried like a baby last night and I don't know how to deal with it.

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travelsafar Mon 02-Dec-19 17:07:38

Oh you poor thing, Sending you hugs and flowers Life is so complicated at times.

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Luckygirl Mon 02-Dec-19 17:17:36

I can understand why you might feel emotional on his birthday. Sad to remember the man he had been and how his gift of life was wasted through his dreadful illness - and you will have gone through so much. Just be kind to yourself. flowers

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Hetty58 Mon 02-Dec-19 17:20:24

Sometimes we just need to have a good cry. Perhaps we cry for what might or should have been, rather than the reality.

Alcoholism is an addiction, an illness and not a lifestyle choice, after all. Family and friends blame the victim in a cruel way that would never happen with anything else.

His family chose to desert him. You still have affection for the man you saw underneath the illness and you took responsibility for him. Now, you cry and grieve, because you care, and time will heal. Look after yourself.

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lavenderzen Mon 02-Dec-19 17:23:54

I understand completely flowers. Memories are brought to the fore. Take care.

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Dee1012 Mon 02-Dec-19 17:38:15

Thank you all for your kindness. My son understands a little but my friends don't... I can understand in a way.
Over the past year's, I've coped quite well, even at the time of his death. I remember seeing him about 3 day's before and thinking that he was close to the end then.
This wave has come out of the blue in a way.

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Norman1939 Mon 09-Dec-19 12:05:22

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