My OH decided a couple of years ago to "put his affairs in order" to make life as easy as possible for me should he die first. That's just the kind of thoughtful, helpful man he was.
After his death on 20 January, D and I were told there was to be a Home Office post mortem and no death certificate could be issued until after this. The post mortem took place on 30 January and I was told that an interim death certificate would be issued and the death could be registered so that all the essential admin - notifying banks, pension providers, HMRC, etc, etc - could begin. However, we couldn't have his body back for another 7 days at least in case the driver who ran OH over wants to arrange a second, private post mortem. This is his legal right and it's quite possible that such a PM might not take place for several weeks.
In the meantime, our chosen funeral director had booked a private cremation for 14 February because we all thought the formalities would be over by then. I'm still crossing my fingers that they will.
The interim death certificate hadn't arrived by Monday and everyone, coroner's officer, Family Liaison officer, seemed to be dodging my calls. So I engaged a solicitor and asked him to put a rocket up the relevant posterior. (I had planned to use a solicitor to obtain probate and deal with the will, anyway).
D then had a call on Monday afternoon from the FLO to say the interim certificate (several copies) would be posted to me that day.
As of today, they haven't arrived. I called the FLO who contacted the coroner's officer. They were posted second class!
Wonderful. To say I was in a towering rage is an understatement. I didn't trust myself to call the coroner's officer for fear of what I might say. So I called my solicitor to ask if it's possible/reasonable to request more copies to be couriered to me today. He's not available and his phone goes to voicemail. I left a message but nobody has called back.
So here I sit, 16 days after my lovely man's death, unable to do anything practical and completely alone, angry and lonely. All the trouble OH took to make sure everything was straightforward has gone for nothing because someone couldn't be bothered to send a package 1st class signed-for.
I know there have to be procedures; I know the car driver's rights must be protected but I wonder if the people who muddle through these rules and regs have ever lost someone in an accident? If any of them have the foggiest idea what it feels like to be alone in a pit of despair, being given the runaround by people for whom it's all in a day's work before they go home to their spouses?
Am I being so unreasonable to have wanted only to get most of the admin done so that we can say our personal goodbye at the crematorium next week with clear minds?
Scribbles Wed 05-Feb-20 14:49:28
lemongrove Wed 05-Feb-20 15:00:50
SueDonim Wed 05-Feb-20 15:37:28
Wheniwasyourage Wed 05-Feb-20 16:59:07
Scribbles Wed 05-Feb-20 17:11:56
Callistemon Wed 05-Feb-20 17:24:22
SueDonim Wed 05-Feb-20 17:27:50
MawB Wed 05-Feb-20 17:53:31
bikergran Wed 05-Feb-20 18:04:43
Thorntrees Wed 05-Feb-20 18:05:03
rosecarmel Wed 05-Feb-20 18:07:49
Smileless2012 Wed 05-Feb-20 18:10:20