Sally, I hear you, I've lost lots of people in my life too and have suffered from what's called complicated grief. What finally helped me is something called EMDR. It's a treatment for PTSD and CPTSD (complicated Ptsd). It is scientifically validated and approved by NICE and its available on the NHS. Also privately of course!
If you're not sure or confident about asking your GP, I'd suggest contacting someone at MIND and asking for help. The organisation called CRUSE offers free bereavement counselling too. Don't give up, much is known now about the effects of trauma (and multiple deaths equals trauma) and you can be helped. Take care, Warmest wishes to you.
Fashion for short, overweight woman
To think that London, or anywhere else for that matter, does not belong to any one demographic