The bit in between (waiting for the funeral) ?

morethan ... thankyou for finding the time to keep us informed.....
I cannot find the words, but others have.
Thinking of your family over this time.

I have no advice for you but my sympathy and prays are with you at this sad time

I don’t know what to say either morethan. Just hope that brave little boy knows it’s ok to cry. Perhaps if he’s on his own with you one day. It is so very sad for all of you. I can’t imagine how difficult all this has been. I pray for strength and peace for you all.

Hard to know what to say, but wanted to send love and for you to know that we are all here for you whenever you need us xx

Thinking of your dear daughter-in-law’srelatives too X

Morethan I hope sometime soon you, your son and your grandchildren can find some peace in your lives. The last months have taken their toll and life will not be the same.
But you must gather all that strength you have and start a new future. You are grieving now,
but in time it is important for the children that you once again celebrate their Birthdays, and Christmas and give them permission to be happy again.
Not yet. ........ but you will know when the time is right.
You are wonderful, and have done everything you possibly could. Much love to you all XX

quizqueen

Why not cut out visits to your home altogether except for the very closest of relatives. As you not actually the mother of the deceased, why is the onus on you to entertain the mourners? Agree to meet people in the garden at their hotel instead and that will cut out one of your worries.

The funeral has happened.

Why not cut out visits to your home altogether except for the very closest of relatives. As you not actually the mother of the deceased, why is the onus on you to entertain the mourners? Agree to meet people in the garden at their hotel instead and that will cut out one of your worries.

morethan

Thinking of you all xx

I have not got the right words morethan but please be gentle on yourself.

Your DS and GC will take a long time to adjust and no doubt need you more than ever, but and it is a big but you must rest and find time for you.

Now you'll be able to begin your own grieving process, morethan. Supporting everyone is exhausting when you have to put your own feelings aside for their sakes especially when young children need you.

The funeral is a good day to have behind you. Your 'goodbyes' haven't all been said but now you'll be able to choose when and where you whisper them.

I can say nothing that will help, but I’ll hold you all in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing with us.

Oh Morethan , I am so, so sorry - I hope that you and your family, your son , their children , your dil’s family will get strength from somewhere, to cope during the next days, weeks, months, years . Thinking of you all

Cornergran has it exactly right morethan I can't add any more. Love and hugs from me too.

No, I don’t have the words either morethan, maybe there aren’t any just now. You’ve been strong and a wonderful support, please think of yourself as well as others. Love and a hug from me.

More than thinking of you and all your family.

I don't know what to say to help, morethan. But I send you all a huge hug and the hope you can begin to move on. That must have been the hardest day imaginable. I admire your strength. You know we are here if you need us.

Someone will be along with just the right words to comfort you. Take care of yourself and all your lovely family - I know you will.

I just wanted to update you all. My autistic grandson arrived safe and sound. I decided not to go to the chapel of rest. I cooked the food. Kept it simple with cooked roast chicken from a supermarket. I cooked chicken breasts and legs in different coatings. French sticks and lots of salad. My bereaved son has a larger garden with summerhouse and a bar so we took the food there. He was glad of the company on the evening before the funeral. We invited my DiLs close family. It was hard work but fine and I’m glad we had the get together. We all needed the distraction. Those who wanted to social distance could. The funeral itself was distressing, much as we expected. Those three youngest children dressed in black comforting their daddy and older sister was enough to melt a heart of stone. The two girls eventually gave in and sobbed but the most upsetting for me was the 9 year old boy who never shed a tear but did his best to comfort his dad and sisters. Even the celebrant was a little emotional. After the service while talking to my husband she did say she found it more difficult than usual to keep her composure seeing the young family mourn their mummy. I hope I never have to attend anything like it again.

My DD, a funeral celebrant, tells me that most people are having a very small, close family only, cremation or burial, with the intention of having a large Memorial Service at a later, post Covid, date. Is it too late to change your arrangements now?

What an awful time, I am so sorry.

Regarding your grandson, you can ask for assisted train travel, your grandson will make himself known to staff at the station and they will make sure the guard gets him on and off at the correct stations.
This is a free service.

Underground may be a bit trickier.

We’ve just had my mums funeral, nearly 3 weeks after her passing. Very hard. I dreaded the day and had sleepless nights beforehand. Thankfully my sister and I decided only close family could attend. Used COVID-19 as the reason. Crematorium actually had a max of 20 people but we were concerned about social distancing etc during and after so only allowed 10 to attend. ( all crematoriums vary in numbers since covid)
The day was sad. Had to wear masks - they absorbed tears! and we were supposed to sit distanced( we ignored that for dad and sat next to him).
After we had a socially distanced tea in sisters garden. All bearable but a sad day. We were glad we kept it to close family only it did make it easier.

Oh Morethan, just read this and am so sorry. I had read that your dear DIL was so ill, but did not know that she had died.

You will be all over the place during this in between time, but as to visiting the Chapel of Rest, I think maybe that you will know what is right for you. The feeling will just come to you.

Also, please don't worry about occupying your visitors.
I am sure they will just want to do as much as they can for you. As has been mentioned, platters are available for catering, as you can't be expected to feed everyone.

Not sure that I have put this properly, but just want you to know that we will all hold you and your family in our hearts at this sad time.
Love and hugs to you and yours.

Morrisons, Asda, Tesco and M and S all do sandwich and picnic platters to at least take away the catering worry

Just wanted to say I am so sorry morethan . I knew your DiL was very poorly but I didn’t know she had since died. Please accept my sincere condolences .

It’s hard to advise someone on what they should do at times like these as everyone has their own way of dealing with grief.

My mum died a few years back and her last weeks were spent in terrible pain . It was so hard seeing her like that. I went to the chapel of rest with my dad in the hope of seeing her lovely face at peace, but when the time came I changed my mind and just couldn’t go in .

As others have said this time waiting is awful so you have every reason to feel anxious, but I’m sure things will just work themselves out .

Thinking of you and your family and xx