Hello Everyone
I lost my wonderful mom when I was 25, almost 25 years ago.
We were incredibly close and utterly devoted to each other. I am an only child, and from the age of 5 years old until I was 12 it was just my mom and me.
I was utterly devastated when she died and very nearly had a nervous breakdown. One of my (many) bereavement councillors said that the only other time that they had seen a reaction like mine concerned the death of a twin.
I have always had a very intense dream life. I have very vivid and life like dreams.
I have regular dreams, nightmares really, in which my mom is obviously the main influence and driving factor. I have a dream about her about once a week.
In my dreams she is always, without fail, absolutely horrible. She is very nasty and cruel to me (and sometimes to my dad aswell). She acts selfishly and without thought, she acts as if my dad and I don't exist; it is apparent that she dislikes even hates me. Sometimes in these dreams she is unfaithful to my dad and is having multiple affairs. (Absolutely nothing happened like this in reality). The main emotion I experience is painful rejection, followed by deep sadness and hurt.
I usually wake up crying.
I have never told anyone about these dreams (it has been quite upsetting and difficult to write about it here, for obvious reasons, but I also feel like I am somehow betraying her).
Has anyone experienced anything similar? What are your dreams about lost loved ones like? Do you have any thoughts on why my dreams about my mother invariably take this form?
I would love to have a nice 'normal' dream about my wonderful mom.
Thank you for reading this - I know that it's a bit odd.
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