Loss of DH after illness

I'm sorry about the death of your husband
Do you have anyone to support you? You need to call your GP, they will be able to prescribe you something to help with anxiety if you feel that would help? x

My father lost mum when he was 64, she 62. I thought that was pretty cruel. But then I lost Deb when I was 63 and she was only 57. And I found myself living alone in a foreign country, with all the ghastliness of sorting a funeral, probate-equivalent and lots of other tedious and mysterious admin. Evidently I coped, but I lost weight (I have never been overweight in my life, so this mattered) and was a bit of a zombie for a while.

There are no clever cures for the loss you feel - and when you spent a lifetime together his presence made everything easier to cope with. Now you must do that alone. I won't patronise you by telling you to get out more, or to seek friends to support the worst days, or anything like that. I can tell you it does get better, but only you can handle the dark and the drear.

Be strong, and one day, maybe not for a long time yet, you will see a ray of sunshine again, and then another and another. I promise it will happen.

When my husband died I became very anxious. I also lost confidence in myself and felt I wasn’t a whole person as for so many years I’d been part of a couple. I even found it difficult to go into shops. Strange as my husband hadn’t shopped with me. As time went by I became less anxious and my confidence came back. So be kind to yourself and give yourself time to adjust.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Nanamar. I remember a heavy sadness as though my heart was literally breaking. Much of my anxiety lifted because DHs' illness was so terrible, and I was glad that he wasn't suffering anymore for his sake. It's still raw just yet for you and time will not make it go away but it knocks the rough edges off. And it'll be the little things which trip you up because you'll be watching out for the big things. Don't forget there's support on here.

So sorry for your loss?

I am sorry for your very sad loss Nanamar.

Anxiety at this time is very natural, especially for those of us who have been carers. Although it was often stressful, in another way it was secure, in that we knew what the day held and what our role was, even the emergency became familiar and we knew what to do.

Then suddenly that disappears, we are in a strange land where our life is totally different. Of course, you will be disorientated and anxious about that.

Then there is that underlying anxiety of powerlessness. In spite of everything we could do the worst happened. I was anxious for other people that I loved.

And finally there are very specific anxieties. I was terrified of sleeping alone in the house. Even though there was nothing my husband could have done to protect me in his illness. Totally irrational but very real.

It helped me to know that my maelstrom of emotions was normal, including the anxiety. If it becomes unbearable, your doctor can help.

I’m so sorry for your loss?

My condolences Nanamar to you and your family, I found I was anxious after DH died at the thought that every decision was now mine to make alone I found that very daunting having never lived alone before. Give yourself time to grieve it’s very early days and as someone else suggested speak to family or your GP.
I wish you well.

So sorry for your loss nanamar.

So sorry for.Your loss - I can't even imagine ...
Is it blood pressure maybe?

Deepest sympathy to you and your family for your devastating loss

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a gap it leaves in your life to lose a husband you were with for so long. In answer to your question, the death of someone close has manifested in a lot more anxiety ever since for me. Life seems less predictable and safe, so I guess it's natural. My doctor was able to help me cope with the worst of it, so consider speaking to them if you need to.

My sincere condolences, Nanamar ?

My sympathy for your loss I don't have an answer to your question but didn't want to read and run.

So sorry for your loss Nanamar