I thought I’d posted a reply, but apparently not. I must have stopped at the preview stage.
I just wanted to say that when my husband died, many years ago (we were both forty), singing was one of the main things that helped me to survive. I didn’t stop going to rehearsals and doing concerts. They were my lifeline. After a rehearsal the week after he died, my choir master came over to me and thanked me for turning up. I told him, truthfully, that it had done me a lot of good. We were doing Bach’s B Minor Mass, which was my husband’s favourite piece. He had been so looking forward to the concert.
It wasn’t something we did together, though, I was the singer, he was the audience. It kept me going through the years that followed, though I had a constant fear of failing an audition. We were auditioned every three years. In the end I left before I could be pushed, but by that time the concentration and enjoyment had done its healing job.
Keep going if you possibly can. It will help immeasurably in the end.