Suicide Bereavement

Anyone wants to talk I'm here
I lost my son to suicide march this year, he lived abroad and was very academic, suffered on and off with anxiety and depression, he gassed himself
My two other children are finding it hard so I'm focusing on them , it's so hard

Anniebach

Anyone living with the grief caused by the death of a loved one through suicide ?

💐 Remember this well. A horrible time for you that will come and go in waves forever no doubt. I hope the gaps in your grief become bigger and bigger. Cyber hugs from me

Yes please start a new thread whatever that is , hope you all have a good day

I wandered if my post had been shown, it's true, my son was making plans and seemed okay, it shocked us all, it seems a daily battle , I don't talk about it in passing very often hope you all have a good day

I do, but I never talk about it. Too raw even after fifty years. All I know is that the balance of their mind at the time was bad. The loss is always there. I do not do what if. Most times with suicide the person outwardly seems the same, but there is turmoil in their head. We cannot know, I remember your loss Annie, you never get over it just get better at living round that loss.

Losing a child to suicide UK is a good forum ,been on it since my son David gassed himself he lived abroad ,it's horrendous for us all who have lost loved ones ,I chat to people who have been through it
I hope you all find some help
Fe 43 David

That's brilliant advice, I think it's one day at a time as I never know what I'm going to be like, I want to go to sobs meetings but don't drive and buses stop at 7 pm where I am , I do phone them sometimes

Hi just come across your post
Yes my son took his life march this year in an unconventianal way, I'm struggling
How are you doing?

Annie it is not unusual to experience delayed bereavement shovk - it sort of hits you between the eyes! The organisation below is a source of help and support. 💐

SOBS - Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
Helpline: 0300 111 5065
www.uk-sobs.org.uk

My brother hung himself. The worst thing is guilt, and thinking I could have stopped it. The last time I visited, I saw what looked like a noose in the back of a cupboard but told myself it must be for towing the car. The grief ebbs and flows but it never goes away.

Always tell yourself that your loved one is at peace now. They didn't stay long enough but you were lucky to have known them.

Grammy57

My heart goes out to you all. I wonder if any of you can help me? My granddaughter took her life this year, she was 15. My daughter and I found her in horrible circumstances. I have been chasing around trying to get my daughter help. She is suffering from trauma. Her little girls face is beside her all the time, that's all she can see. We were told that a counsellor would contact us within 72 hours that never happened. The police blame NHS the NHS blame the police and I just run between them getting nowhere. It's been almost 2 months and she's had no help, everything has been so hard. She's drinking a lot to blot everything out which isn't helping. Im caring for the remaining children and have not been able to grieve the loss of my beautiful granddaughter. Does anyone know how I can get help? Shes speaking to someone from a charity on Thursday but its just an assessment. I cannot believe she can just be left like this. Well I can because that's how my grand daughter was left with no help until she couldn't bear it any longer. I have been fighting this for weeks and I am beginning to feel defeated. I can just see my daughter losing everything. She's a single parent, her ex is useless. Can anyone help

I just want to say how very sad and sorry I am, terrible thing to go through, worse thing imaginable.

Perhaps this might help

www.childbereavementuk.org/listing/category/when-someone-dies-by-suicide

I'm so sorry to read this.
How awful for you both.
I went to "compassionate friends" meetings for a while after my daughter died.

It is specifically for parents, so I hope yousy find a group running near you.

My heart goes out to you all. I wonder if any of you can help me? My granddaughter took her life this year, she was 15. My daughter and I found her in horrible circumstances. I have been chasing around trying to get my daughter help. She is suffering from trauma. Her little girls face is beside her all the time, that's all she can see. We were told that a counsellor would contact us within 72 hours that never happened. The police blame NHS the NHS blame the police and I just run between them getting nowhere. It's been almost 2 months and she's had no help, everything has been so hard. She's drinking a lot to blot everything out which isn't helping. Im caring for the remaining children and have not been able to grieve the loss of my beautiful granddaughter. Does anyone know how I can get help? Shes speaking to someone from a charity on Thursday but its just an assessment. I cannot believe she can just be left like this. Well I can because that's how my grand daughter was left with no help until she couldn't bear it any longer. I have been fighting this for weeks and I am beginning to feel defeated. I can just see my daughter losing everything. She's a single parent, her ex is useless. Can anyone help

Me, my daughter in law just over 2 yrs ago, she was my friend as well as d-in-law. she had mental health issues & recently spoke to dr's etc but they didn't take her seriously. I think because she was very articulate and presented as in control medics just took her at face value.
A lot of people with mh problems do similar & I try to tell myself I must respect her decision.

we should start a new thread, I hadn't realised this one was old

I am sorry Annie, I remember your daughter's death and the agony you went through, which is still with you.
No words.

Yes me chat anytime
My David died by suicide in march this year, it's devastating

Suem51

I'm recently bereaved by suicide. My sone died intestate in June, leaving two girls aged 8 & 4. He was separated from his partner, sharing the care of his girls 50/50. His ex is now demanding items of furniture and tools from the house . How can I deal with this?

Hi Suem51

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.

I can’t advise I’m afraid, but would suggest that you start a new thread rather than tag on to an old post so as not to cause any distress to the original poster. It would also enable others to respond direct to you rather than them thinking they were responding to the original poster.

Take care x

Taking your own life is the most powerful statement you can make about how you believe the world has treated you.

No one else can ever understand that.

This is relatively Old thread. I don’t think Annie will be reading it.

Thinking of you Annie. I wasn’t on GN at the time but having read through this lovely supportive thread, it’s clear you should be proud of what you did for your daughter and her children. It sounds like you have been very busy holding everyone else up and it’s only now you have time to think about your own grief. Grief never goes away, we just learn to incorporate it into our lives going forward. Anniversaries can be difficult times but perhaps you should consider talking to someone if you continue to find it difficult to cope? Your daughter is loved, honoured and remembered. Be kind to yourself. Xx

Ps this thread has restored my faith in the GN community.

Not a child Annie but a dear friend, someone who made us laugh until we cried, his sharp wit and great timing were something to behold.
Our 3 children adored him, we all miss him still.

As two families for over 20 years we all had an annual pilgrimage to SW Scotland in May, we haven’t had the heart to return.
I’m crying now writing this thinking how he probably felt inside as he had us all holding our sides.

Like your daughter Annie he will never be forgotten, we have to find a way to move on and for us his close friends it took some years to realise that we could never have done anything to stop him.

He is at peace.

I wish I could take some of your pain.

Yes Annie. DH’s brother less than a year ago.

Anniebach sent you a pm

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

As to the the tools and furniture, is there a reason to hold onto them?

I am only asking as it is sometimes easier to take the path of least resistance, when you already have the weight of the world on your shoulders, rather than battle yet another storm.

Would your grandchildren benefit from having the tools and furniture in their home?

I'm recently bereaved by suicide. My sone died intestate in June, leaving two girls aged 8 & 4. He was separated from his partner, sharing the care of his girls 50/50. His ex is now demanding items of furniture and tools from the house . How can I deal with this?