Unwanted comments

TillyWhiz, the silly comments only irritate if you actually care about their opinions - and why should you?

Other people, unthinkingly, just relate their own ideas (about what they'd expect to do) to you. They blurt things out - or cross the road to avoid you - as they struggle with thoughts of death and grieving.

They don't know what to say - so say something really stupid.
Try to laugh it off or just ignore it. I used the phrase 'Why would you say that?' often.

Aveline

I was once stunned when a bossy type asked if my sister was 'grieving properly' after her husband was killed in a climbing accident.

The woman could have worded her thoughts badly. We Brits are known for out stiff upper lip!

I was once stunned when a bossy type asked if my sister was 'grieving properly' after her husband was killed in a climbing accident.

I'm sorry for your loss TillyWhiz.

I think DiscoDancer is right in that some people look for something to day, especially when their with someone recently bereaved. Also as Septimia has posted, perhaps she was thinking about what she'd do if she were in your position.

I'm sorry if you were upset by it.

That's awful Maw clearly someone who should engage their brain before opening their mouth.

It’s common practice for people to suggest even tell widows how we should and shouldn’t behave and live our lives post-bereavement. I would have replied: And why would you think that?

I suspect some of is down to fishing to see how we’ve been left financially. I was asked how I was going to enjoy spending my widow’s pension as if I’d won the lottery. I pointed out that the widow’s pension had been abolished in 2001.

Oh Maw that really takes the biscuit. How thoughtless! Crass really ... but it’s not unusual, sadly. Some people are just not very aware.

Sometimes people say the first thing that comes into their head precisely because they don’t know what to say!
It’s not really all that unreasonable really when you come to think of it, many of us who have been widowed move or plan to move to be nearer grown up children, or because the house is too big once we’re on our own - or for a variety of reasons. Don’t let it rankle, it was thoughtless but no more occasioned by you being on your own than she might have said, for instance to somebody who had recently retired.
Sometimes you have to laugh (or you’d cry) though. Returning to my Art History course in January 2018 after Paw had died the previous November, a very friendly lady commented that she hadn’t seen me for a while. When I told et why she said chirpily “ Oh, what a shame. That must have cast a bit of a shadow over Christmas” !
It did ever so slightly.

Sometimes people just search for something to say, when nothing would have been preferable. Don’t let it bother you. Treat what she said as insignificant as she is.

How irritating. She sounds like a classic village nosey parker with nothing better to do than pry into others' affairs. She'll move on to someone else tomorrow.
Why not invent juicy nicknames for her and the others to cut them down to size in your mind?
It's good to hear you have decent people living around you to balance things out. Best wishes

Perhaps she was thinking about what she would do in the circumstances. Of course, not everyone is the same, so opinions will differ.

When it comes to bereavement then I think you have to do what feels right for you, not what other people say you should do.

Enjoy your home and your lovely neighbours.

Please try not to let it rankle. It's just the thoughtless intrusive nature of some people. Rise above these idiots and don't let them impair your quality of life. So happy you have fantastic neighbours. Long may that continue. Good luck.