My mother died at the end of January and, due to a family member being mentally unable to cope, mum’s last few weeks were quite a traumatic time for me. However, my mum was almost 93 and it was not unexpected. However, while I was at my mother’s side my foster son’s wife gave birth, extremely prematurely (less than 25 weeks), to twin girls. Weighing in at just over 500 and 600 grams each we knew the chances of their survival were very slim, but tonight I got the call to say the little one has died. ? The other little girl is making headway, but has all the usual difficulties associated with extremely premature birth and her health continues to be of concern.
Both losses are caught up, one with the other, and to be honest I’m feeling almost numb, as if my emotions can’t cope with anything else. I’ve barely cried and yet I feel such a weight of sadness within and feel very, very fragile right now.
In addition to the above I have two other things going on that I’m not able to talk about, but both will have huge repercussions for our family if things go wrong. I’m trying not to be a Cassandra, but both of these things had bad outcomes last time and so I’m dreadfully afraid that history may repeat itself. I’m usually an open book, but these secrets are not mine to share, so my husband and I are having to shore each other up without the support we usually receive from our friends.
