Double loss and feeling fragile

From me to both of you x

Sorry for both of you and anyone else struggling in this way.

I am so sorry you are having a difficult time

Oh you poor thing that all sounds so hard. Not only the tragedy of the little girl's death but also the worry of the future for her sister and Mum and Dad too. You must be kind to yourself xx

So sorry, grannyactivist and GagaJo to hear of what you are both going through. Sending you both and [hugs]

grannyactivist

Thank you all for your kind comments. And yes, GagaJo, my condolences to you too.

My relationship with my mother was not without difficulty and she had been ill and frail for many years, so processing her life and death will take some time - and I expected that. But the raw emotion of childhood memories re-surfacing has taken me by surprise, and not only me; my older brother had a meltdown because our mum had always refused to answer his (very valid) questions about painful aspects of our childhood - and on the day of her funeral he finally had to accept that he would never receive the answers he craves. He arrived at, but almost didn’t come in to the funeral service, and I had to use all my powers of persuasion to get him to attend and join us at the wake afterwards.

Life can be so complicated.

I could have written much of this post myself GA. My mother and I have never really got on, but I'm glad I was able to spend her last couple of weeks with her. I hope I helped her feel that I loved her.

My brother also had a breakdown (in the midst of his severe illness) at her death. He was mostly unable to visit her in her last days, due to his own hospitalisation. Hard.

My mum isn't having a funeral. We will scatter her ashes once my brother is fully recovered, probably not until the summer. Hopefully by that point, we will be able to celebrate her life, rather than being felled by grief.

Good post anno, well said.

Dear grannyactivist, you are, and have always been, a tower of strength to those who have needed your support and a listening ear. I know you are unable to fully confide all that's going on in your life, but the bereavement is something most of us can relate to, though nobody can say, 'I know how you feel' because that can never be true. Your husband (aka WM) is your rock and we are here to read and empathise - for what it's worth. Metaphorical hugs, and a would-be listening ear. xxx

I’m so very sorry ga. The loss of your Mum and your foster grandchild, the fragility of the other one and more worries too. What a lot of sadness and worry you have to cope with at present. Take each day as it comes and don’t expect too much of yourself. I’m glad you have someone to lean on and share all this with and I’m glad you have felt able to share your grief with all your friends here.

I hope the little one will get stronger with each day that passes and that brighter days will come for you all before long.

You are all in my thoughts and I will remember you all in my prayers.
?

* Grannyactivist*and gagajo ?

Thank you all for your kind comments. And yes, GagaJo, my condolences to you too.

My relationship with my mother was not without difficulty and she had been ill and frail for many years, so processing her life and death will take some time - and I expected that. But the raw emotion of childhood memories re-surfacing has taken me by surprise, and not only me; my older brother had a meltdown because our mum had always refused to answer his (very valid) questions about painful aspects of our childhood - and on the day of her funeral he finally had to accept that he would never receive the answers he craves. He arrived at, but almost didn’t come in to the funeral service, and I had to use all my powers of persuasion to get him to attend and join us at the wake afterwards.

Life can be so complicated.

Gosh, GA, so sorry to read of your current miserable state of affairs. I've been missing you around. Have you in my head as a robust leader of the pack kind of person but we all have our tipping point. Not going near the positives at the moment. Would seem frivolous but I am thinking of you and hoping you can recognise every glimmer of light that comes your way in the current gloom. Try to stay strong. Lots of people on here care. ?. Also Gagajo. ?

So sorry to hear of your loss, my condolences to you both grannyactivist & Gagajo at such a sad time.

Condolences for GA and Gagajo tough times for you both.

Grannyactivist, how sad I feel for you and your family.

You are such a good woman have been a tower of strength to so many over the years. I pray that you find some peace.

GagaJo, my condolences to you and your family. ?

Very sorry to hear of the difficult time you are going through?

My condolences GA. You have been a huge support to so many people over the years, I’m sorry that you’re having to bear so much grief and worry.

GagaJo .

No words, just a huge hug (())

X

To both you . Words are inadequate in such sad and difficult times.

A very tough time, you’ll be on automatic pilot, just ‘getting through’. I can offer little but my sympathy and keeping you in my thoughts ?.

Sincere condolences GA and gagajo

GA, I am sorry to hear of this extra sadness for you. The death of a tiny child is so upsetting and your Mother had been there all your life - no wonder you are numb. Sending strength to you and the family of your foster son.

gagajo, wishing your brother well and condolences on the death of your mother.

GN is here for both of you.

My heart goes our to you ga. I understand that place of non-feeling and fragility. Please don’t expect too much of yourself, just be as you are, it’s time to be as kind and gentle to yourself as you are to others. My thoughts are with you and gagajo.

Jo thinking of you

Beautiful post Ashcombe

You poor lady with such heavy burdens to bear. It is hard to stay strong for everyone at such times. Be assured of our thoughts and prayers for you and your family, especially the new little one. What a special couple you must be to have been foster parents. Be kind to yourselves and we can only hope for some brighter tomorrows for you all. ?