My husband’s funeral this morning

Oh isummer, just to say that I am thinking of you at this awful time in your life. I too knew my husband didn’t have long and the thought of being without him made me feel physically sick. It’s been almost 6 weeks now since he died, I am getting there with the help of a wonderful group of family and friends but it is so hard. My thoughts and prayers are with you ??

Have only just caught up with this thread but I do second what others who have endured the death of a much loved husband say about living one day at a time. Six months on from my DH’s death, welcome to him though it was, I am still processing my feelings. I have yet to cry, which is almost certainly not good for me, but as yet I can’t. Family and friends have been life savers, and wonderful neighbours too, and I know how lucky I am. Doesn’t mean I don’t constantly miss the man who was the centre of my life for sixty years, and the lack of his supportive and unquestioning love is too raw to explore fully. I hope that with the love of others you will feel able to keep on with a different life.

granto2 - my heart goes out to you too. These first months can be dark days and I understand that - I would just like to say that I am 2.5 years down the line and am beginning to come to terms with it all and to find my feet as a single person. It is hard, as many of us will never have lived alone before, having gone from home to shared accommodation in further education or training, to marriage and motherhood. It is a very different scenario and needs time to adjust to.

I am sending you all good wishes for the strength to carry on during this hard first phase of a new life. So much to come to terms with and such raw sadness just now. Look after yourself - I wish you well.

I so understand your feelings Mrs Quigley. I said goodbye to my wonderful husband at 6.36am on the 20th June 2022 after almost 50 years together. I have no idea how I am going to get through this but I ask him every day to help me to get through the day ahead. I really didn’t understand what sad meant until now. So many people go through this and my heart goes out to you.

Sending love to all 3 of you.

MrsQuigley = I am glad the funeral went well and you felt it was a fitting tribute to your dear husband.

The worn platitude of taking it one day at a time is in fact very true. It is 2 years and 6 months since my OH died under some very difficult circumstances. The first few months are hard, with a sense of disbelief which lingers, even when I knew he was going to die and even after the passage of time. IT still seems very strange that he should be gone.

Bizarrely, one thing that comforted me was the thought that death is an everyday experience, that it happens every day all around the world, that it is simply the cycle of nature. I looked at my children and thought they are part of that cycle too and it is their turn to shine and to carry the spark of life forward.

I guess you too will find little things that help - they are different for everyone. I hope you find yours.

NainCC
grandMattie
Mrs Quigley

a word to all three of you. i hope things get a little easier soon. i hope you can find a little companionship by pm-ing each other and sharing some of your sadness. i hope that you can take a little comfort from fellow gransnetters sending you sympathy and strength on this forum. i wish you well.

oh, and your choice of or and a for medicinal purposes.

hi mrs quigley,
you were brave enough to give us an update wednesday morning, when everyone seemed to have left on their way back home.
i wonder how you're doing now? are you managing to keep to your routine, or are you up in the middle of the night now knowing how to get back to sleep? i'm sending you my thoughts and wishes, to help you through the night and the days to come.

We are all thinking of you and sincere sympathy to you and family.

Take care.

*Mrs Quigley*
Nain
and dear Mattie

I’m sorry for the loss of your loved ones, and I’m lucky that I still have my DH, but I know that it is true that the only way to cope is just to take one day at a time, some days it will suddenly seem worse but always you will find the strength to face one more hour then one more day. There is a lot of virtual support here, always.

So sorry NainCC, I missed that you were also bereaved, and now grandMattie too.

My condolences to all. It's six years for me now. After much angst and avid reading, as well as support from the WAY UP forum for widows, I learnt that your grief always stays the same huge husband sized hole in your life.

The most important thing is to enlarge and expand your life experiences, and move forwards tentatively towards your new future. So far I've only managed to downsize to a well located future proofed home, but I'm slowly getting involved in the local community, baby steps.

Mrs Quigley
NainCC
Grandmatty [flowers}

So sorry each for your loss. Sending strength and virtual support.

My DH died last week and his funeral is next. Just go one day at a time, and you will cope. Trite but true, youWILL get better although there will be a very large DH shaped hole…. All the best. ❤️

I really do feel for you. I am a little further on than you, although at times I feel right back to the beginning. My husband passed on 5th April this year. His wish was for a direct cremation and a family get together when his son could c=get back from Vietnam where he is a teacher.

This meant the earliest date for the 'Celebration of Life' as we named it, was 11th June. That period between 5th April and 11th June seemed endless. I just wanted it over! Now it is, there is a void, what next?

Like some of the others, I cry most days and talk to him all the time. Sometimes in my head and sometimes out loud. It helps me although I am sure my little dog thinks I have gone mad.

Everyone says it, but it really is one day at a time. Sometimes I have a good day and don't cry till bedtime, others are just a soggy mess of wet tissues as every little thing sets the tears off, but then I can bounce back to a better day the following one. Just go with the flow, don't expect too much of yourself or expect it to be over in a matter of weeks.

One lady told me she is 6 years in and counting and still cries sometimes. I was getting impatient with myself for doing it at 6 weeks! It looks like we both have a long and painful journey ahead, but I believe it will get easier to handle.

I want the memories, I want to think about him every day and talk to him, I just want to do it without the tears so doing it is a happy thing, but I will get there, I do believe that, and you will too in time.

My thoughts are with you today.

This will be a day many of us dread. I’ve been married 45 years and hope that every day extra we are blessed. I feel for you today and hope that each day after you find the strength to get up and get through the day. I hope you have friends and family to support you at this time. So sorry for your loss and sending you heartfelt wishes at this time.

Thank you for all your kind words, they did help.
Sitting here all alone now, my last guests have started their long journey home and my daughters have returned to work though they are close by.
From beginning to think I wouldn’t cope yesterday between us I think we did him proud. Everyone said what a lovely service it was and how much he would have appreciated it and all the wonderful things said about him.
Whoever spoke of taking one day at a time hit the nail on the head. If I look at the future from here it looks like a big hole.
I will have to learn to take each day as it comes.
I do hope your husband’s service went well NainCC.

NainCC?

NainCC

I’m so sorry for your loss MrsQ. It’s two months since my DH’s funeral and we were all dreading it too, but you will all take strength from each other and the fact that you are doing him great honour by this one last act which you will have put a lot of love and thought into.??

Have only just seen this but couldn't scroll by without sending you my condolences MrsQ. Take care

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you x

Didn’t want to scroll by, sorry for your loss, such a sad time for everyone, sending you a virtual hug x

My thoughts and prayers are with you both, MrsQuigley and NainCC. ?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Love and support to both of you MrsQuigley and NainCc - I hope that you have both managed to navigate your way through this very difficult day.

Sincere condolences, MrsQuigley and Naincc. Sending love and prayers, for you and all those enduring the pain of bereavement. ???