Gransnet forums

Bereavement

I am a widow

(204 Posts)
Iam64 Wed 12-Oct-22 08:24:24

My husband was diagnosed exactly 6 months before, with stage 4 metastasised cancer exactly six months before he died. I was with him along with our daughters, throughout the last week. This gave us all some comfort.
In the endless meetings with officials I’m still introducing myself as ‘his wife’. I still feel like his wife ?

ParlorGames Sat 22-Oct-22 08:54:51

Iam, I am deeply sorry for you loss. Take comfort in your memories.
Marydoll, the poem is beautiful and very moving; it reminded me of my dear Mum and Dad.

Razzamatazz Sat 22-Oct-22 08:45:16

So very sorry Iam64, my sincere condolences. Take each day as it comes and take any help you are offered.

My friend was recently widowed and didn't know about the Bereavement Support Payment, which has to be claimed within the first three months. I hope you are eligible.

www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment

Horatia Sat 22-Oct-22 08:39:53

I am sorry to hear of your sad loss. You will always be his wife.

maddyone Sat 22-Oct-22 08:38:18

Iam64 I’m so very sorry. I’ve only just seen this thread so apologies for not sending my condolences before. I knew your husband was ill, but I didn’t realise he would go so quickly. I’m so very sorry. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Sending love flowers

Millie22 Sat 22-Oct-22 08:37:36

Iam
Sorry I hadn't seen your thread earlier.

Thinking of you ?

travelsafar Sat 22-Oct-22 08:21:21

Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.?

Maggiemaybe Sat 22-Oct-22 07:48:59

Oh, Iam, I have just seen this thread and am so very sorry for your loss. Please look after yourself. thanks

Whiff Sat 22-Oct-22 06:53:49

Iam64 I have been widowed since I was 45 nearly 19 years ago. As far as I am concerned I am still a wife. Still wear my wedding ring and go by Mrs. I hate the fact I am classed as single.

I can't promise the loss of half of yourself eases with time because in my experience it gets worse. But you learn to cope. I count the first 10 years widowed as still early widowhood. I lost half of myself the moment my husband took his last breathe and haven't been whole since. I have said on other sites on this forum this is no right or wrong with grief. I would encourage anyone widowed to talk out loud everyday to your loved one. I promise it does help. I have shouted and swore at my husband. But it made me feel better. If you hold your feelings in you only hurt yourself learnt this the hard way. If you want to scream,shout,cry or hit a pillow do it. My husband made me promise to live the best life I can and I do. He made me promise other things and I have kept everyone as they are important to me. And they have helped me get through life without him. We where together since I was 16 he was 18. Couple 29 years and married 22 years.

What shocked me was the rage and anger I felt after he died. I thought I was wicked feeling this way but it's all part of grief.

Went your other half of yourself dies so does your present and future and it's very hard to make a new present and future on your own. So just take it one day at a time and soon you will notice a week has gone by then a month etc. Don't expect to much of yourself and only do what you want. This is just my experience everyone is different.

You and many others have joined a club none of us wanted to join. But I am lucky I found my other half when young and loved so much by him . He was my rock . But I consider myself lucky I had that love in my life as some people live their whole lives and never know the love and joy of being with the other half of themselves.

Be kind to yourself and do things in your own time . ?

NannyJan53 Thu 20-Oct-22 08:15:28

So so sorry to hear this Iam64

Sending love to you and strength for the weeks ahead. You are of course his wife, and always will be

Galaxy Thu 20-Oct-22 07:59:57

Oh Iam64, I am so sorry I missed this post.
I am so so sorry for your loss. You are such a lovely poster, and I hope the support from GN gives you some small comfort. Take care of yourself x

dragonfly46 Thu 20-Oct-22 07:53:51

So sorry to hear your news Iam.

BlueBelle Thu 20-Oct-22 07:51:57

I ve only just seen this Iam64
I m so very sorry and a big kind hug coming to you
You ll always be his wife xxx

Iam64 Thu 20-Oct-22 07:47:41

It’s comforting to hear from so many - we share the feelings of loss and love

Allsorts Thu 20-Oct-22 07:25:39

So sorry Iam.It’s such early days.I always remember registering my husbands death and seeing widow. Call me daft but although a long time gone, he’s still my husband in my head and heart.
Take it a day at a time, he would want you to be alright and be kind to yourself.

Namsnanny Thu 13-Oct-22 13:42:49

I am so sorry to hear of your very sad news Iam64
Please accept my condolences flowers

sukie Thu 13-Oct-22 03:03:28

My deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear husband Iam64, my heart hurts for you at this difficult time. flowers

Concordia Wed 12-Oct-22 23:53:55

Sending you hugs and sympathy, Iam. I can't add to what has already been said, only agree with others that of course you are and always will be your beloved man's wife. May the memory of the love you shared give you strength to deal with the here & now and to face the future.

SachaMac Wed 12-Oct-22 23:22:27

So very sorry, you are certainly still his wife, a year on from my husbands death I still think of myself as such & always will. Look after yourself, it’s such a sad & difficult time.

Nana3 Wed 12-Oct-22 23:15:55

Sincere condolences Iam64, you are his wife without a doubt flowers

paddyann54 Wed 12-Oct-22 23:01:45

Like others have said you will always be his wife my sincere condolences to you and all who love and miss him .

Wishing you the strength to get through these toughest of days and beyond

Grammaretto Wed 12-Oct-22 22:53:22

So sad for you and your family Iam64.

If there is anything I can help with in the days and weeks to come please let me know.
it's almost 2 years since I lost my beloved husband and I have had such support and advice from kind people here.
Sending hugs.

hollysteers Wed 12-Oct-22 22:48:43

Sending my thoughts to you in this difficult time iam.
Your husband is still part of you and your daughters and wife you remain.
Your whole landscape has changed since his passing and I wish you strength in the coming days.??

Serendipity22 Wed 12-Oct-22 22:43:38

Xxx

cornergran Wed 12-Oct-22 22:40:42

So sorry iam, what a sad and overwhelming time. Of course you’ll always be a wife to your much loved husband. Please be gentle with yourself. With much love.

MayBee70 Wed 12-Oct-22 22:32:36

I’m so sorry to hear this. My sincere condolences to you and your daughters. x