Gransnet forums


In Memory of a Fine Gentleman

(9 Posts)
LRavenscroft Sat 26-Nov-22 07:35:55

I write this tribute as I am not able to express my condolences locally for the death of a gentle man I knew, who was the husband of a close friend. He was very elderly and while he was well he would do a good deed for anyone and was so kind. On becoming quite ill, his wife, who was quite used to the London high life, became resentful and sent any friend packing who would not jump to her whims. I was also dismissed which did not really bother me that much. Sadly, he passed away recently and I would have loved to express my condolences for his kindness. Unfortunately, there is a lot of ferocity in the family and I know they will be dealing with their grief in their own way so I respect them by keeping my distance. So, to all those people who would like to send respects to someone who has been kind to them but is unable to for whatever reason, I say go somewhere quiet, remember them with deep affection, and say your own personal good bye and thank you,

Jackiest Sat 26-Nov-22 08:53:39

I have come across some very kind men and very often find that their wives take there kindnes for granted and some even resent it. So sad that the world has lost one as they are precious.

annsixty Sat 26-Nov-22 09:16:52

I think that is a lovely tribute to a man you obviously admired and appreciated.
I am so pleased you feel able to share with us knowing we will know how you feel.
Kindest thoughts to you.

dogsmother Sat 26-Nov-22 09:24:47

I’m holding out a cyber hand to hold, so sorry there is too much animosity for you to share the grief with your friend’s family. Quiet thoughts sometimes are best and a friendly tribute to him here was kind. 💐

MrsKen33 Sat 26-Nov-22 09:26:19

How very generous and lovely of you LRavenscroft. What a superb gesture.

I shall do as you say and remember one I loved also.

downtoearth Sat 26-Nov-22 09:39:30

A beautiful tribute,you will carry him in your heart and memory forever.

Redhead56 Sat 26-Nov-22 10:18:43

I understand exactly how you feel I lost the best friend I ever had.
We met through work I was in my early twenties and we got on from day one. We socialised for family occasions and the usual work functions which we all attended.
We worked together for nearly ten years then I left abruptly because I was pregnant with my son. I was in hospital for antenatal care throughout the pregnancy. I didn’t return to work as I should have because I wanted to be with my son.
My friend helped anyone he was a kind considerate unselfish man. He was a loyal husband and father to his own family who he absolutely adored. Over the years we stayed friends and he watched my two children grow up. They loved him and looked forward to seeing him just like any other family member really.
He became ill and was in hospital a lot but still kept in touch with us. I received a phone call out of the blue from another of my work colleagues to tell me my best friend had died. I was devastated to hear that he was in a cancer hospice less than a mile from my house.
I attended to funeral but I left after the church service. I wasn’t informed where my friend was because his wife was jealous of our friendship. I could not forgive that it was an innocent friendship nothing more but his wife held a grudge all those years.

Allsorts Mon 28-Nov-22 07:09:46

Redhead, I’m sure your friend valued you as much as you did him, he wouldn’t want you sad. He will always hold a place in your, heart no one can take that away.
My husband was a kind man and I think people expected a lot, but he liked people happy and got pleasure out of it.,
I think of all the people who I have loved and lost, all leave a gap that only they could fill.

NanKate Mon 28-Nov-22 08:54:28

I have a male friend who I have known since I was 18 and I am now 76. We live some distance apart but keep in touch with occasional meet ups, email etc. His wife has never been jealous of me and I am grateful.

During the worst of covid I chatted on the phone and told him that I valued our friendship and that he was the brother I never had. He often calls me Sis and I call him Bro.

Last week he sent me an old sepia photo from the late 1960s of the two of us going for a walk on the B’ham canal, near where we both worked together. It brought back such happy memories.

There is such a thing as a platonic friendship.