My husband and I don't want a funeral when we die

Yongy you have started another thread that says you have never grieved for anyone family and friend who has died.

You have already upset me for one by starting that thread . Are we to be bombarded by your starting different threads .

Do you even feel love ?

You are not alone in that.

I get very sad when I read this because it makes me ask how much did you value your life?
I have been to a few cremations recently where there was little sense of the unique value of the individuals life. It seemed a case of, 'let's get it over and one with' as if the bereaved just wanted to forget what that person meant to them.

I was recently bereaved and we had a very traditional church funeral followed by a burial and a wake that went on well into the evening.
The church was packed, the hymns sung with gusto and the eulogy applauded. No one could have left without a sense that my dear relative's life had really been worth living.
There seems to be a growing industry around the loss of pet, but the end of a human life seems to be disregarded.
I find this a very sad reflection of the society we are now living in.

Direct cremation for me.
Mine know where I want my ashes to be scattered.

We wanted direct cremation, my children took umbrage, so cremations are paid already for both of us.

A friend has recently died and had paid for a direct cremation. His widow said that it was straightforward and has organised a meeting in a local hall to remember him as he used to be.
There will be a buffet and as many photos of him as she can find.
We are thinking of paying for direct cremations soon. I think I will talk to my children when they come to the 'remembrance party'.

I found that organising funerals for my parents was cathartic.

It was also a surprise to me how many other people genuinely seemed to have loved them - and it was a terrific comfort to me to know they had touched so many lives.

I'm grateful that they didn't say "no funeral" to me - though I would, of course, done as they wished.

I feel exactly the same.

There is nothing unusual about how you feel. Lots of people feel like that.

Personally I dont give a d*mn. I will not be around to know whether my children toss me in the land fill bin or hire Westminster Cathedral and pay for a full choral Requiem Mass, followed by interrment under a rival for the Albert memorial.

I'm to be cremated. What my Sons do with my ashes is upto them. At my cremation, no prayers or hymns. I've told them I want 2 songs played, They're Coming To Take Me Away by Dr Demento and Bat Out Of Hell. No formal speeches if anyone wants to say anything that's up to them. I want my cremation to be short and sweet. Any Wake is also upto my Sons. hugs

Honouring someone’s wishes is not the same as being comfortable with them.

There was no funeral for my uncle. It's what he and my aunt wanted and my cousins agreed to it.

My father was sad about not being able to go to his brother's funeral. He would have found it comforting.

My Aunt & uncle have opted for the same. Then I was reading a book by Wendy Mitchell about her experience of living with Dementia and she speaks about telling her daughters that she didn’t want a funeral and they were disappointed and said a funeral would help them grieve and she’d never thought of that. Personally I’m in two minds, a funeral is meant to be a celebration of someone’s life, butI don’t like the thought of my children being so upset, sounds silly as they are adults. I will probably speak to my boys and they will say ‘we don’t want to talk about things like that’, but we do! These are your final wishes at the end of the day, which should be respected by others.

It's quite usual these days.

Of course we have discussed it with our children. Our eldest girl is a Vicar, but will adhere to our wishes as will our other children.

It's up to each individual to intimate their wishes to their family. More people are opting for direct cremations now too, where the body is simply taken away for cremation then the ashes returned at a later date. The family can then decide what to do with them, whether to have some kind of celebration of the deceased's life etc.

You are the poster who has never felt bereaved when people close to you have died, very strange. Funerals are for the living. Perhaps you should ask your family what they would like. I am a Christian and will have a Church funeral.