Mothers ‘rights’ at her sons funeral

My sincere condolences for the loss of your son Mynxie .

I see no reason why suggestion of a particular song from his mum would be regarded as unreasonable or insensitive.

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Of course I don’t know you or your family but it doesn’t seem to me unreasonable that you would like this song. Just ask quietly and explain the significance for you. I wanted a particular reading at the funeral of DH1 but the priest wasn’t happy. A friend spoke to him and explained the importance and then he understood. My thoughts are with you.

I think that is a very sincere and genuine request and totally acceptable . I am sure his partner would be thankful for you input and any support you can give.

I included DHs siblings in planning his funeral, I cant think she would object to a very reasonable request. So sorry for your loss🌻

So sorry for the loss of your son. I think to ask for a song to be played at his funeral is not unreasonable. You had a special relationship with him as his mum.

So, so sorry for the loss of your son. YANBU - it’s a mother’s request and I’m sure, it will be granted

I'm sorry about your son. Talk to your son's partner. You need one another more than ever now so just ask her, I'm sure she'll say yes

Sending sincere condolences.

It doesn’t seem an unreasonable request, and hope that your son’s partner agrees to it.

I am so sorry for your loss...my sincere condolences.

I would hope as his mother, this request would be granted.

I was included, by my son in law in the arrangements for my daughters funeral . Just ask your sons partner, you are not being unreasonable. Sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss. It seems very reasonable to me, just ask. I do hope your request is greanted

Ofcourse a special request from his bereaved mother should be granted.
I am so sorry for your loss.

When DH died during lockdown his parents were both still alive.

They didn't request anything for the funeral and weren't able to attend due to covid. So sad.

DH told me several songs he wanted sung and we, the AC and I, did our best but one we really didn't like so decided not to play it!

my husband asked me to play flying without wings and not to have a minister as he was an atheist at his funeral, his sister (a minister) she took over everything and said the song was not right for a funeral and got the moderator to do the service. please ask your sons partner if the song can be played.

Thank you all - I shall certainly ask her now. Just in case you’re wondering the song I have in mind is ‘Let it Be’ by the Beatles as I feel that sometime we just have to accept the way things are without looking for reasons or blame.

You have my sympathy. ❤️
I don’t think it’s insensitive at all, as long as you wouldn’t be too upset if your daughter in law doesn’t want it. If that happens, maybe it could be played before the service, or at another appropriate time?
I wanted a lot of singing at the Bodach’s funeral, so had the Boys’ Brigade hymn played before Mass, as I’m sure not many would know it. ⚓️

Mynxie

Thank you all - I shall certainly ask her now. Just in case you’re wondering the song I have in mind is ‘Let it Be’ by the Beatles as I feel that sometime we just have to accept the way things are without looking for reasons or blame.

That's a lovely song and very appropriate.

Hello Mynxie so sorry for the sudden loss of your Son. It is lovely that you want to offer his Partner and your grandchildren all the support they need, please don't forget that you also need support too. Your choice of song Let it be Be is beautiful and I am sure that your Son's Partner will be very happy to include this. You sound like a bonded and caring family and that you will all be there for each other during this very difficult time.

Of course it is reasonable to ask.

Just beware that music could be a trigger in the grief process and songs affect people very differently

I would have a plan B just in case she is not fully on board with your suggestion

I don't see this as an issue of anybody "right"
Dont most families discuss the format of the service they want to say goodbye to their loved one?

I am so very sorry Mynxie, losing a child is every parents worst fear.
Certainly speak to his partner about the music you would like.
I am sure there will be a family discussion about the service.

Mynxie

Thank you all - I shall certainly ask her now. Just in case you’re wondering the song I have in mind is ‘Let it Be’ by the Beatles as I feel that sometime we just have to accept the way things are without looking for reasons or blame.

Beautiful song.
I am so very sorry for your loss

mynxie deepest condolences. Like others I say, ask. The worst that can happen is that it will not be played.

So sorry for the loss of you son.
Yes do ask for the song to be played. Tell her it would mean a lot to you.
As Hithere says, have a plan B.
I don't remember if this is a lengthy song but just remember there is only a certain time allocated for the service and so things like prayers, hymns, tributes etc. have to be able to fit in. Something like 30 minutes.
When I organised my brothers funeral the funeral director added it all up.

Mynxi, such a sad time for you, I think it would be very nice to have a special song at your sons funeral,,,