Missing someone

Hev61

It was a year last Monday since my DH of 42 years marriage died. I put a brave face on every single day and get on with life. Anyone asks how I am, I smile and say I'm ok. I am not ok at all. I'm missing him so much and just want him back with me. I'm still bottling up the grief and it's so tiring keeping it all inside. I just can't let it out though.

I can relate to your post. It’s now over four years since my husband died and although I carry on living a reasonably happy life, it’s painful.
Like you, I put on a brave face for the sake of my family, but I think they are aware that the light has gone out of my life. They broke the mould when they made him.,

MissAdventure

Oh I've had counselling, but talking doesnt take away the bare fact that I miss my daughter. Sometimes its liveable, and i can pack it away in a box on my head.

Other times I can't.

Just wanted to say I am so sorry about the death of your daughter. I know how I would feel in your situation, so I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts.

💐 to all and thanks to Miss A for starting the thread. My brother died a few weeks after my mum, all alone, not wanting visitors because of fear of COVID. Breaks my heart knowing that.

4allweknow

I often wonder if it will ever get better. Whether significant or just a standard uneventful day I seem to be floating between thoughts of DD - lost 5 years ago and DH lost 2 years ago. I can speak of them now without a sudden silence to compose myself but thoughts, they never leave. I try to convince myself it is no longer grief but memories only. Not sure I am having any success. There, I've spoken with MissA and all others who read this.

It's a good start.

I’m looking at two very serious situations with my dh and also one of my DC and I don’t know how I’ll be able to go on into the future. I have good things in my life, too, but the prospect of never being happy again is overwhelming at times. It was all snatched away in an instant.

Anybody struggling, I'm not trying to fix it but Julia Samuels is good. Thanks

I often wonder if it will ever get better. Whether significant or just a standard uneventful day I seem to be floating between thoughts of DD - lost 5 years ago and DH lost 2 years ago. I can speak of them now without a sudden silence to compose myself but thoughts, they never leave. I try to convince myself it is no longer grief but memories only. Not sure I am having any success. There, I've spoken with MissA and all others who read this.

It will come out, one way or another, though.

It's very hard if you're not a natural at expressing your emotions, I know.

I also sometimes think if I don't acknowledge it, it'll all go away and I can pretend, for a little while.

It was a year last Monday since my DH of 42 years marriage died. I put a brave face on every single day and get on with life. Anyone asks how I am, I smile and say I'm ok. I am not ok at all. I'm missing him so much and just want him back with me. I'm still bottling up the grief and it's so tiring keeping it all inside. I just can't let it out though.

I did get right through to the very end, and I had to smile at the Kenwood Chef part.
I think people are a bit at a loss, knowing what to say or do, at times.

My work colleagues booked me in to see "We Will Rock You", as they thought it might "cheer me up a bit".
It's a lovely gesture, of course.

I have always imagined it might be a little easier for someone who is sure they will see their person again, but it seems not.

Also for those who have lost friends, it seems very hard, too.

I hadn't really considered that - feeling as if my grief is the worst.
That's another thing that happens through bottling it all up, I guess.
There, now you've listened to my ramble... zzzz.... zzzz...

Sending hugs x
Us Gransnet lot are always here xxx

So sorry for your loss MissA. I lost my husband of almost 52 years just over 2 years ago and it often still feels really raw. I go through days of crying and thinking how cruel life was for him in his last years and feelings of guilt thinking I should have done more to help him and try to make what we didn't realise were his last days happier. I then seem to get over it a bit and carry on until a few weeks later it all builds up again. Life can be so sad and lonely. Take care.

Miss A, I feel heartbroken for you, my parents died over 30 years ago and I still think about them every day, love never dies.the love you had for each other is still around, I think her arms will be around you at this moment xx

Miss A missing someone lasts a life time some days it's okay and other days it isn't. I lost my mother when she was 53 that's 50 odd years ago. People thought I was alright as I husband. My first he bought me a Kenwood Chef as though that would cheer me up and everything would be fine! My lovely second husband I lost just after covid, a tumour on his lung, all the things the matter with him and it was something else. Then my best friend literally nearly all my life knowing her, was starting to suffer from dementia. I couldn't tell her about my husband and a couple of months later she to passed away. I felt totally at sea. Who does one talk to? I am a Christian and He is probably what kept me going really, to know that they are both well and I will see them again sometime. It isn't easier though for a Christian but to have someone to talk either Him or I know I can also phone anyone from church. I'm very blessed but can be as sad as the next. It's normal to grieve at odd times and over the years our memories are what keeps our people with us. All the happy and sad times you've shared. Sorry I have ramble on, thank you. If you got this far x

How sad *kitty". My parents lost a baby boy at 9 months old. I was 6 at the time.

My mum had twins 3 years after me. The second one to be born had the cord round his neck and suffered from all manner of disabilities until he died when he was 2. I am the only person left who remembers him and the effect his death had on my mum.

So many sad stories, I’m in bits here!
It’s 4 years this week since my husband died. People remembered the date for the first few years, but not this year. My AC didn’t mention it either. I think they think I’m doing fine, and I don’t like to disillusion them. Then today I got a nice card from the Donor Family Network - they send a card every year because my husband’s organs were donated. So that set me off crying. I think some days you just have to give in to the tears and let them flow.

whiff thank you for your kind comments, I really appreciate them.
downtoearth this must be such a difficult time of year for you, sending you a gentle hug.

My goodness such sad stories. My brother died aged 24 in awful circumstances. He would be 70 now.

To all of you living with the grief that comes with the loss of a child 💐.

My first daughter died aged 7 weeks her birthday is on sunday she would be 46.
My dad died 6 weeks later 3rd of january.
My second daughter died aged 23 on the 3rd of january 24 years apart
This time of year for me is very poignant as my happiest and saddest memories are in this season
My girls would now be 44 and 46.
One I never had the chance to know, and one that I had got to know, I still grueve for both in different ways, I dudnt get chance to say goodbye to my dad or my girls.

I don't know how we cope with grief, that loss of that special person whose place no one else can fill. My days are busy and I have friends but oh for the days when I had my best friend and husband. Sometimes I think I'm on auto pilot. The loss of your child seems unimaginable and my heart goes out to anyone who has that pain. I go about my days but my husband is somehow with me in thought still and sometimes when out with people its too much and I want to get in so I don't have to try and I can cry if I want to or just think about him. I miss my parents and best friend but its different somehow. To have loved and been loved is very special and not everyone has it.

Such a kind thread, we all have theses spaces were our loved ones should be and there are times we just so hurt missing them.
Big hugs Miss A 🌻

I think that what Doodle said about the change of season is very telling.

Sending gentle hugs to everyone is feeling sad today.

Redcar your grief for your still born is not trite it's how you feel. My mom grieved for the child she miscarried all her life until dementia made her forget she was 90 when she died. One of my aunts had 2 stillborns even though she had 3 sons . She grieved for those babies until she died .

So grieve in your own way and I like I said to Miss A don't try and be brave let the tears flow if you need. We all love our babies the moment we know we are pregnant and that love never dies . So please never belittle your grief of what have might been . 🌹