Missing someone

Miss A you haven't depressed anyone. Your honestly will help other parents . Never put yourself down .

Miss A 20. 5years since my husband died aged 47. The grief gets worse every year . But my grief is nothing like the grief you are going through . A child's death is the worse kind of grief . And I won't insult you by saying I know how you feel as I don't. But the rage and anger I feel over my fit healthy husband getting cancer and dieing gets me through everyday. Use whatever you are feeling to get through each day and talk out loud to your daughter I promise it helps. I have shouted ,swore ,blamed my husband for leaving me but I feel better and then I see with that stupid grin on his face as if to say feel better now.

Have you read the thread on this forum Does it get any easier there are bereaved parents as well there are widows ,and partners.

Miss A I know it doesn't seem fair that those we love died young and we are still here. But we have to live our lives to the full for them . I know like me you have health problems as you helped me on other threads.

I don't know if you have a faith? I am atheist what gives me comfort is my children and grandchildren have some of my husband's DNA.

Only someone who has a child died knows how you feel there may be a group for bereaved parents in your area who met . But bereavement counselling in my experience doesn't work . I went to a group only because my children wanted me to but it didn't help . The woman who ran the group had done a 12 course and was married and I was 45 the next to my age was a 68 year old man the women all 70-80's. I stuck it out for 2 years until my children left home . Just glad they never asked if it helped as I don't lie. They just as if it was ok and it was they where nice people but didn't understand what I was going through and they talked about other things. Only wish I had known about GN in those days.

You need to talk to bereaved parents as they will understand exactly how you feel.

Miss A grief will overwhelm you at times don't fight it as you will only hurt yourself. Let the tears flow and don't think you have to be brave for other people you don't I learnt that the hard way and hurt myself doing it. There is no right or wrong way to grief just your way. My heart goes out to you . 🌹

No short cuts.... Its brutal.....

Redcar

This is such a lovely thread, thank you missAdventure. This sounds a bit trite perhaps, but I had a stillborn baby girl 46 years ago. I remember her particularly on her birthday, and one of my dear friends also remembered her every year and messaged me, but she is also now dead. So I feel I am now the only person who knows about my poor baby.

It's not at all trite.
It's awful to realise that at some point, out much loved person will become a shadowy, fleeting thought, or a sad tale about a bygone time.
Anyway, now I've depressed you all, I feel a bit better now.

It's this drab time of year, too, I think, that gets people down.

Big hugs MissA. The missing doesn’t go away. Some days are easier than others and sometimes the missing bowls us over. 💖🌸

This is such a lovely thread, thank you missAdventure. This sounds a bit trite perhaps, but I had a stillborn baby girl 46 years ago. I remember her particularly on her birthday, and one of my dear friends also remembered her every year and messaged me, but she is also now dead. So I feel I am now the only person who knows about my poor baby.

It is brave and good of you to post this MissAdventure. Death grief and mourning are realities that need to be spoken of. My very best wishes to you.

Nope.
Thank you, and you, and you, and everyone for putting down how they feel.

Thank you MissAdventure

You should have written every single word of it, Doodle

I started it just so that people can write whatever they need to, whenever they feel the need.

I hope this thread continues. It would be nice to have somewhere where people could remember special people they’ve lost or for those having a bad day,

Sorry I shouldn’t have written all that. It’s all me, me, me at the moment and I get so cross with myself.
I can’t imagine how you cope with losing a child. I’m so glad you have happy memories you can recall.
I think the changing season is having an effect. These dark days don’t help either.
Sending you another hug and to all those who are feeling lost and lonely missing friends and loved ones.

I hope she realises what a difference she made to your day,even if just for a little while.
I wonder if bench makers realise what a service they provide?

They're good places for meeting kindly strangers, I've found.

I'm feeling better than I did earlier, I was neither good for man nor beast myself then.

If I could find genuine words of comfort I would use them.
About the best I can do is to express how sorry I am for your loss. It is bitterly cruel when a child dies before the parents.

MissAdventure I’m so sorry. It must be hard for you not being able to talk things over with anyone.
I had one of those days today when I’ve been crying all day long. A lovely lady came and sat next to me in in the park. She gave me a hug and said a few prayers for me and DH. She was so kind.
Glad you decided to post about it. It’s like a taboo subject that no one wants to talk about. Loss is so painful.
I’m lucky I have a good friends to talk to. I try not to let the family know how bad I am. Nothing they can do anyway.
I’m always here if you want to PM me and let it out. I’m not much help to man not beast at the moment but can still listen and send hugs. x

Oh, you are nice lot.
Thank you.

Sending you so much love MissAdventure. You're in my thoughts. Please never feel uncomfortable sharing your sorrow.

Miss A, you are not alone.
Yes your posts are much appreciated.

MissA - I don’t know where you will find the strength to cope with such a sad loss, but I hope you will . Thinking of you xx

valdavi
When my daughter tried on a wig which was attached to an elastic headband, she said "I feel as if raising my eyebrows really quickly would make it ping off my head!"
She demonstrated what she meant, and we had a laugh at that.

Yes thank you for the thread MissA. I lost my neice a few years back, the loveliest young woman you could imagine,at 29. It is difficult to for me to imagine how sister & B-i-L survived.But your threads always make me laugh, you're not one of the pessimists, but one of the highlights on most threads so even though you of course still grieve, you're cheering up others all the time. One loss you havent had is your sense of humour

MissA I understand that feeling 💐

Thank you for this thread MissA
I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose your daughter...my heart goes out to you.
We lost Dad just under 3 weeks ago (funeral next week)
Having been widowed at a young age I know that this first period of shock and pain will likely ease but right now it just so incredibly hard

The Tennyson poem “Break, break, break” says it all for me - “But O for the touch of a vanish’d hand, and the sound of a voice that is still”. Do look it up.

And no, I don’t know think it gets easier, rather it becomes part of the now diminished you.