Still brokenhearted

I've been widowed for 17 yeas. Most of the time I'm just fine but sometimes its the little things that make me burst into tears.

SaxonGrace - what a long long time. My heart goes out to you too.

Dear Doodle, I'm a day late but sending love and understanding. My dearest husband died 16 years ago. I know I was emotionally unwell for 2 or more years and then slowly, slowly, some healing and acceptance comes creeping in. All of us who were lucky enough to have wonderful marriages will miss that person for ever. In the end they are a part of who we are now. We haven't lost them, they are part of us. Hold on. I wish you comfort.

So sorry Doodle, so many cliches are said to grieving folk, for instance’ time heals’ . It doesn’t but what it does do is make you stronger and more able to deal with the loss My beloved has been dead 33 plus years, I still miss him every day, occasionally a smell, song or something quite small will dissolve me. I suspect most of us are the same. Be good to yourself, value every day you have and just do the best you can, there’s no time limit or correct way to grieve and have a good sob whenever and wherever you are. Best wishes to you.

I'm sorry for your loss. The first anniversary is probably one of the worst days there is. Hopefully, you won't feel quite so bad once this big anniversary is over.

Oh Doodle How I wish I could take away your pain. The man of my life died just over 5 years ago, the shock eases but the pain of not having him here still grips me and I plummet into grief and misery with a true ache in my heart but I also experience times of happiness. Its this what keeps us going and hopefully will help you. It could be a long haul but its really not just one day at a time but sometimes 1 hour. Be kind to yourself.

Sending hugs.
I lost my husband 18 months ago. I am lucky that I have both my daughters and their families nearby including two young granddaughters. We only moved near them 6 months before he died so I am determined to make the most of my time with them. My son-in-law got me involved in the local bowling club where there are several people in my situation.
I have also joined an online group called Jolly Dollies which is for widows. They have groups all over the country and meet for coffee, meals etc. I'm sure there are people on there who would be happy to meet one to one or in a small group if you wanted. There is only a small group where I live and we haven't had a meet up yet but we chat on WhatsApp.
Take things at your own pace. He will always be with you and I'm sure he would want you to find peace and happiness xx

Those We Love Don’t Go Away
They Walk Beside Us Every Day,
Unseen Unheard But Always Near
Still Loved Still Missed , and very Dear
So sorry for you Loss,

Sometimes I ask myself if I should try to stop grieving. But the thing is, grieving sort of keeps him with me. I try not to let it show when I'm with others.
Doodle the army of widows on Gransnet are a source of help to me and I send thanks to them all and special sympathy to you tonight

I’m so sorry, Doodle. It must so hard to live without that one person who truly knows you as you. My heart goes out to you. Xx

Dear Baggs what you have lost is a whole different area of grief. I cannot imagine how hard it is day by day for you 💕

Thank you all for your lovely thoughtful and caring posts. My darling man would be pleased I have so many find friends here.
For all those suffering the same loss, thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with you too 💐💕

Having lost an adult child, I have days when I feel part of me has died as well. So I get it, Doodle, and send love ❤️

Sympathy from me too Doodle 💐

So sorry 💐💐💐💐💐

Just sending you so much love Doodle
❤️

Dear Doodle. I know how much you miss him. I wish there was something I could say to help but I can't.

You never get over it but I promise
you, you do get used to it. even though you don't want to
❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤🩶🤍🩷🧡💛💚

So sorry Doodle. Anniversaries are a painful reminder and there is no time limit on how long it hurts.

I don't think we should have to pay any price. We are all doing our very best.

'Grief is the price we pay for love' - and what a high price it is. I feel for you, Doodle.

Thinking of you, Doodle; I wish I could say it hurts less but, three years on, it doesn’t. It’s more about learning to live with a hole at the centre of my life, and it is so hard. I have yet to shed a tear and suspect I might feel better if I did, but find reminders of our shared past both painful and consoling.

Kindest thoughts to you Doodle
Early days and they will get easier but you have to believe that and keep on keeping on with help from family and friends.

Doodle I really feel for you. I do hope that you have family and friends nearby to comfort you. The only thing I can say is to try to take one day at a time and one day you will wake up and hear the birds singing then you will gradually start to move on. [Flowers]

Do very sorry to read your post Doodle. I have no advice because I haven't had to endure such a massive loss Thinking about you and sending you strength. 💐💐

💐
I can't say anything more than what has already been said.
Just be kind to yourself. X

Greyduster

It is indeed a long lonely road, and just as you think you might just be ready to throw away the map, something comes along and kicks the legs out from under you; a photo, hearing his voice on a bit of video, songs he used to sing have tears coursing down your cheeks. But it’s part of the healing process. It’s very early days; let it take you where it will for now.
Thinking of you💐

That is so true.
Doodle, I am so sorry. I have had to be without the love of my life for nearly five years now. Year one, I was convinced I wouldn’t survive, but I did. It was hard, and I’m still not really happy but I am still breathing, still enjoying some things and luckily have family nearby. Years 2, 3 and 4 saw the gut-wrenching grief lessen to a painful ache. Occasionally, I laughed and enjoyed myself. I learned not to feel guilty because I was having a great time with our family which he could not. We talked about him often and he will always be important to us. There will always be a piece of him in our children and grandchildren. In fact, yesterday, our granddaughter brought my great-grandson to be with me. She gently stretched his little legs out and said, ‘look! He’s going to have long legs like his great-granddad!’
Life will never be the same. It can’t be and I think the best advice I can give is to try to get the best out of each day.I try not to dwell on happier times too often, just remember them now and again. If dark thoughts appear, push them away and distract yourself with something, TV, radio, a good book, phone a friend.
Try to live each day as your loved one would want you to. My husband would be heartbroken if I didn’t carry on with a good, but different life.
I live the life that was denied him, with all my love.