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Bereavement

Watching bereaved daughter and grandchildren in so much pain hurts somuch

(33 Posts)
Cambsnan Thu 28-Aug-25 18:43:30

Thank you all for the kind words

Chocolatelovinggran Thu 28-Aug-25 09:09:40

Please be kind to yourself Cambsnan. You are grieving, too.
I agree with everyone here, in that all you can do for your bereaved family is continue to be a steady, loving presence.
I wish you all better days ahead.

GrandmaSeaDragon Thu 28-Aug-25 08:47:38

You are certainly not being selfish Cambsnan. We lost our very dear Son in Law suddenly and unexpectedly 19 months ago, it was a tremendous shock. I think it is a very natural feeling to want to take the pain away from our DC and DGC, but we can’t. All we do is to be there for them and provide what help, support, advice and love we can. My thoughts are with you and all your family, just take each day as it comes. I expect others will come up with much better words, but I do know how you feel.

Sadgrandma Thu 28-Aug-25 08:07:09

Oh Cambsnan how terrible for you and your family. I can only imagine what your DD and GC are going through and I understand how you feel helpless in wanting to take away their pain. Sadly you can’t. All you can do is give them lots of love and support, emotionally and practically. In the meantime perhaps point your daughter to one of the bereavement charities such as Cruse, they provide wonderful support for adults and children.
My thoughts are with you.

www.cruse.org.uk/

Oreo Thu 28-Aug-25 07:41:38

That’s dreadful for them Cambsnan and hard for you too.All you can do is to be there for them and be, I don’t really know how to put it, quietly positive especially with the DGC.
Be helpful in small ways.Your DD only needs to know that she can rely on you.flowers

Flippinheck Thu 28-Aug-25 07:40:02

Such a sad time for you, but you are not being selfish at all. It is natural to hurt when our loved ones are suffering. I guess all you can do is be there to support them. My heart goes out to you all.

StripeyGran Thu 28-Aug-25 07:34:25

Your feelings are probably overwhelming and certainly not selfish. There is no hierarchy around pain and grief.
Think of the loss of a beloved pet. It might seems foolish to some but it is heartbreaking to others.

Something I find helpful is the Marie Curie service. It is for anybody suffering loss. You can talk to somebody or type out your thoughts.

Kind Regards.

Cambsnan Thu 28-Aug-25 07:23:17

My daughter recently lost her dear husband very suddenly. As a family we are doing what we can to support them but it is so hard to watch the ones you love in so much pain. My pain is nothing to theirs but I feel so helpless. As a mum and gran I just want to take that pain away but of course I can’t. How have others coped with these (selfish?) feelings?