Feeling Sad For My Neighbour

AuntieE

You can also console yourself with the fact that as some minutes must necessarily have elapsed before your neighbour even came to you, and you got through to emergency services, that if you had been able to revive the poor man, he would probably have been brain-damaged.

If anyone is to have a chance of being revived and returning to the life they used to lead, only very few minutes should elapse from the patient's collapse to the start of CPR.

I feel very sorry for both your neigbour and you. You certainly seem to have handle thimgs very well.

Yes that occurred to me about the time lapse but only after the fact. It was probably some time before I attended and eventually got through to the emergency services. As you say he would probably have had brain damage anyway so perhaps a blessing in a way.

You can also console yourself with the fact that as some minutes must necessarily have elapsed before your neighbour even came to you, and you got through to emergency services, that if you had been able to revive the poor man, he would probably have been brain-damaged.

If anyone is to have a chance of being revived and returning to the life they used to lead, only very few minutes should elapse from the patient's collapse to the start of CPR.

I feel very sorry for both your neigbour and you. You certainly seem to have handle thimgs very well.

Oh my word, bless you for being a lovely , kind neighbour . You did everything you could and I’m sure your neighbour appreciated your help and support. Take care of yourself and rest assured you did everything right xx

Well done Moonwatcher . Please try and talk to someone either family or friends. Last year we heard my neighbour shouting help early in the morning ! My DH rushed over ready to do cpr , but a paramedic turned up with a defib and started working on him . Sadly he died. My DH was really shaken up and kept reliving the scene .
Be kind to yourself .

Well done, Moonwatcher1904. A very distressing situation but you well and truly stepped up.

I too had this experience - twice!
Once for my neighbour’s wife and the second time for his daughter. Both were tricky to handle as his family had become estranged but it was the personal trauma that wasn’t easy.
Do talk about the experience with your own family or friends. It’s not good to think you can cope without support.

You very admirably stepped up to help your neighbour in what must have been a very stressful situation. You will need to take some time to accept what happened and realise you did all you could. A really genuine neighbour!

So very sad. A huge shock for you, too, and its effects will be starting to kick in, so do look after yourself and talk to someone about it if it will help you. 💐

That’s so sad but thank goodness she has such a lovely neighbour

Look after yourself. What you have been through must be very upsetting, although you can console yourself that that you rose to the occasion. Your neighbour must be pretty traumatised too. I wish you both all the best.

Thankyou all. I've told my two other neighbours who were upset and a bit shocked. He died peacefully watching tv which is all anyone could hope for. At least her family are with her.

Moonwatcher you have had a tremendous shock and done a tremendous job! Very well done. You did all you could for this man and his widow. I am sure last nights trauma will now be taking its toll on you. Be kind to yourself, talk about it to friends and family and keep posting here if that helps. You must be very shocked. Thinking of you , seek professional help if you feel that is needed . 🌹🌸. All will be well.

How traumatic for you. Your poor neighbour. We had a similar experience last year when we found a man dead in the street. Take care.

Another thought being that it's probably harder for you if you were'nt expecting it. Difficult if you were - but harder if you weren't.

At least with my neighbour back along I was expecting it. I didn't know them very well at all - but I did know she'd got a terminal illness and he had told me only days before that the DWP had finally worked out what benefit they were going to pay her (as she'd lost her job because of her health) and he told me what they'd said. At that point I bought that bottle of brandy - as I thought "That low level payment = bang has gone her financial independence - she can't pay her way on that little" and I was expecting that to be the next thing he told me and went and bought the brandy ready.

Very sad - even if you'd been expecting it.

A shock for you too - being told to do CPR on him (and I am SO glad I've not been put in that situation by a healthcare person - as I would have found that incredibly difficult to deal with having that pressure put on me by someone and wanting to do my best for the dead person themselves).

So - yep....very understandable indeed to feel shocked all round by it. I've virtually given up alcohol - but would be reaching for a bottle of brandy after that one for sure.

Take care of yourself now - buy yourself a treat present (maybe get the neighbour a big bunch of flowers and get another one for yourself whilst on the subject) and a mini bottle of brandy for yourself. I've certainly reached for the brandy myself when a next door neighbour to my last house came knocking on the door to say his wife had died - and out came the brandy and I said "Say when" and started pouring. Also bought one - for myself - in the aftermath of my parents dying (at about the same time) - as that was a heck of a blow in a variety of ways.

Well done for being the best of neighbours. Take a quiet moment for yourself now. It will have been a shock.

❤️ for you .

Agree, be careful what you take on. It is the responsibility of the family from here on in.

( learnt this the hard way)

What Babs and others side.

You were amazing, following her wishes, but oh what a shock for you too. I'm so relieved her family are there to take care of matters. Sounds like she might need carers - be careful what you take on, I know that sounds mean, but realistic.

So very sad. And as others have said think of your own well-being right now as well.
Sending a hug 🤗

Please take care of yourself here. I suspect this may be traumatic for you, in the true sense of the meaning of the word.

Moonwatcher 904 So sorry for you. Dreadful experience. Be kind to yourself. I know this would have knocked me for 6. Just be kind to your neighbour and keep in touch with her. This will mean a lot. When our neighbour lost his mother we did this. He later on said we got him though it. So sad.

Oh no that’s so sad, but well done you, for trying and being there for your neighbour.
Such a shock for everyone. Had he been ill ? I suppose it’s a comfort to know he passed away peacefully at least.
Take care of yourself now, it’s a lot to take in, try and talk to family or friends today.

I am so sorry to hear this but in time you will come to realise that you were a true neighbour. You did your best and helped someone in need. One of my neighbours was bedridden and his wife his carer. He woke one morning to find her dead beside him. He had to contact the ambulance with his phone and the family and they got him into a care home within 2 hours. Very sad situation mum, daughter, and he all died within months of each other but lovely family.

You were a true friend in need and tried your best.I feel so sorry for your neighbour and do hope her family will help her get the additional help she needs for the future. It is so hard without your partner, I had a household emergency recently and dealt with it alone, I don't even ask for help now but somehow i have managed.