Is it normal to feel anxious the day before a funeral

I think it's perfectly normal to feel anxious. Try to be prepared with clothes etc... sorted the day before so you aren't rushing. I feel a bit better if I am prepared for the day ahead.

I'm sorry for your loss. I am sure that you and your Mum have organised the best send off you can to say goodbye to your Dad. Just remember that you have done the best you can. No-one will mind if you do break down at the service.
By tomorrow evening, it will all be over.

Yes I think it is very normal to feel like this. You are naturally sad and grieving yourself, but feel the need to be there for other family members so are putting a bit of a burden on yourself, while it is going to be a bit of the unknown , how you will actually feel and cope yourself.

Having your clothes set out ready with perhaps some more comfortable shoes to wear if you are driving there, or to be able to slip into after the service. A very simple but useful thing is to think about your breathing at times. As you feel more emotional , or upset, it is easy to begin to breathe in a very shallow way. If you can remind yourself to think about your breathing every few minutes, and to try to breath in more slowly and out even slower. That is something you can do without anyone else noticing, but it helps you to be in control and aware of yourself in those moments. It will of course be a very sad occasion, but seeing friends and family there, wanting to remember your dad well , can also be a comfort and afterwards if you have some tea together or whatever, I think you will find people come up to you and reminisce about times and things that happened when they were with your dad. Hoping that all goes smoothly for you

Oh yes, I think it gets better once the funeral is over. Not the grief that is always there but a funeral is a public event, anyone would be nervous.

Take cotton handkerchiefs; a spare for your Mum. There cwill be tears and they are so much better than tissues.

Please don't feel you have to "be strong" and "hold it all in" , strong people can openly weep and cry. By doing so, you show others it's okay for them to cry too. The anxiety and tension you're feeling, is from the high level of stress hormones all through your body. The body has ways to relieve itself of that chemical overload; through your tears is an important one so don't stop yourself crying in the car,. at the service, after wards. It's a natural and healthy outlet for all the anxiety and tension adrenaline, and that exactly why "Have a good cry, you'll feel better" is so true. Your Mum is no doubt trying to be strong and hold it all in for your sake. Showing your tears in public will help her cry too and give her that relief.

Practical arrangements; the undertaker has everything in hand and will make sure everybody reaches the right place at the right time. They understand you're all emotionally and physically stunned . They will gently and unobtrusively guide all of you through everything.

You've all done "being strong" for a long time. Time to let go now; nature is taking it's course.

So sorry your Dad has passed away Daisy. I have nothing to add, as expected our GN friends have given you sound advice and support. All will go smoothly tomorrow- thinking of you. 💐🌹

So sorry to hear that your Dad has passed away.
It’s going to be a very emotional day for you and your family, especially your Mum…..be strong

Condolences to you and your family.

When someone has reached a decent age and has had a good life, it is a celebration of their life and also the last thing that you will do for your dad.

A friend described her mother’s funeral as her leaving party!
We all had a fabulous time saying goodbye to her.
The upbeat note prompted lots of tales and memories.

It is perfectly natural to be nervous, I remember a school friend of my son telling me on the way to a funeral he didn’t know how to behave and was so concerned he may do the wrong thing, I reassured him there would be tears and laughter and that he would be fine.
On the journey home he said it had been nowhere near as bad as he expected and that he had enjoyed the wake.

I hope it goes well, funeral directors are usually so professional and kind and I’m sure you will have good friends and family around you.

I will say a prayer for you all this evening.

It’s definitely normal to feel this way. It’s the anticipation of the day wanting it to go well and knowing the emotional feelings you will have in the day. My brother died recently and I felt utterly bereft and also emotional for such a long time. The funeral went well and we gave him a good send off I felt so much more relief afterwards.

I think we all dread the funeral of a loved one.

Despite many opting for ‘Pure Cremation’ type send offs, where no one is present, I feel it’s an important part of saying ‘goodbye’.

It’s ‘closure’, to use the modern term, and I think it’s a necessary part of the grieving process.

Doesn’t have to be a full church or crematorium, but for those who have mattered to the deceased, and more importantly, the deceased has mattered to them, it’s the final farewell.

Thank you all for your kind words, advice, well wishes, prayers and support.
I've been keeping myself busy and preparing for tomorrow.
It will be a celebration of his life after the service and an opportunity for my Mum to share her loss with all her friends and family. They had been together, married for over 60 years.
I didn't always get on with him (me difficult teen, different interests), but we did have a good relationship in the latter years and many wonderful memories. I'm just feeling a bit numb...want to be a good support to my Mum and the rest of the family.

My DH passed away 3 months ago. It’s been an awful time but my wonderful daughter was trying so hard to be strong for me I ended up worrying about her! I could see she was going to make herself ill. I sat down with her and explained that we needed to grieve together and that by being strong for each other also meant grieving together. Sometimes I’m the strong one other days it’s her. Do whatever feels right for you. Everyone grieves differently and being anxious about tomorrow is completely normal. I found that I had such a weight lifted after the funeral was over I could really start processing my emotions. It’s not easy but together with your family you will get through it. My deepest condolences to you all 🌹

So sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. It is natural to feel anxious and stressed but please don’t feel that you have to be strong for you mam. Just be yourself and if you need to cry then do so but please don’t hold it in. I hope you manage to get through it all ok. Hugs.

Daisy, look after you in all this please.

Very normal to be anxious. I hope it all goes well

Obviously I don’t know your arrangements but, if you’re all going together from their home, practical help for your Mum would be to get there as early as you can or at least an hour early in case she needs help with hair, outfit etc or just to talk. She will definitely be anxious too so ring her tonight as well so she can talk about her worries. Keep close to her around the ceremony so you can give her a steadying arm if needed and you can both thank people for coming. If you’re having a gathering afterwards that will probably be a relief and a chance to talk about those good memories. See her home and settled before you leave, consider staying overnight if she’s distressed. And make sure you use support from family, colleagues, friends etc too.

Thank you all so much.
My Dad's funeral was yesterday, very sad, but as well as it could have done. It all went very smoothly.
My Mum has been okay. I took her out for lunch today with my brother and she's having a well earned rest this afternoon.
As a family we all coped and got through it supporting each other. Now for the next few months help my Mum sorting things out.

Thank you for the update Daisy.

Glad it went off as well as these things can.

So pleased it went smoothly for you and your family. Every single person grieves differently but you have got through one of the toughest days. My very best wishes to you Daisy . Life after such a loss is going to be very different but it can become good again, just in a very different way. 🌹