My husband and I got married very quickly with little fuss. Lots of family and friends and a meal at a local coach house. Honeymoon was a borrowed car and a drive to Babbacombe in Devon where we stayed with my nan. She was delighted. We then went to Australia.

If people want to spend huge amounts on their wedding and can afford it, I suppose it's their right to do so. But it makes me very cross when I hear couples explaining they can't afford to get married. What they mean is, they can't afford the lavish party and luxury holiday for which the wedding is the excuse! We really couldn't afford to get married, both students, nowhere to live, but we did. We all walked to the wedding and the parents paid for a pub meal for the ten of us. Then we borrowed their car to go to a B&B overnight. Fifty-two years married next June.

In Germany, the photography session is before the wedding. If you use a professional, it can be one of the bigger expenses, though. My eldest's father-in-law is an amateur photographer and a couple of the people from his club filmed and photographed the whole day. We have four DVD's with all the photos and films, and two CD's with the first copies of all the photos, unedited, untagged and unsorted. Over the top, but it didn't cost any extra.

At my own wedding, I was equally lucky - a friend of my father's was a semi-professional and he took a few pictures outside the church after the ceremony, as well as of the signing of the register, and just gave us the films afterwards, for free. We had to pay for the developing and printing, I think, but it was a saving of photographer's fees again.

Friends of ours didn't have a photographer but gave everyone a DVD to put their photos on and return to the couple.

Welllllll .... of course it is the couple's choice, but if said couple would struggle to have the home they want too, then common sense says it seems mad to spend money on fripperies when it could be put to better use.
When my daughter married a couple of years ago, both sets of parents contributed and she and her husband put in what else was needed. They managed to undercut the 'average rate' of a very traditional white wedding by many £1,000s through making it quite a home-organised affair: lots of fun was had making the table wines and toasting drinks, place names and party favours etc. and there were lots and lots of very personal touches to the day.
I got re-married a year later and, including honeymoon, the cost was about £2,500 ... intimate church wedding, and buffet party on the day, followed by a bring and share for 70 family and friends at the end of the honeymoon. We had everything we wanted and the way we wanted it.
Of course it is not the price tag, but the commitment of the couple at the centre that makes a wedding wonderful, or indeed, dodgy, no matter the cost.
However, I think it is very possible for the couple who are marrying to lose the central focus of the day amidst complex planning and lavish provision. At the end of it all, it is simply just 2 people making their promises and hopefully joyfully supported by family and friends.

Some £ saving tips from our kids weddings. Make invites favours table decorations. Martha Stewart website has great ideas. Bought loads off e bay artifical flowers ring cushion flower girl dresses white umbrella feather stole etc and resold. Hired ladies hats only £45 for hats worth hundreds. mens suits. Borrowed posh cars wedding cakes bought Christmas fruit cakes after Xmas cheap and added decorations. Did not have a free bar. As we gave a donation towards the wedding and respective in laws too they had the weddings they could afford and amazing how they economised when it was mostly their own money they were spending. We had 3 lovely weddings designed to match their circumstances, station in life and budget.

My DD1 was the last of her gang of pals to have a wedding and she said that helped her decide what was important. She could not recall what favours, invitations, flowers, cake, colour scheme, hairstyle etc, her friends had.. she just recalled the overall ambience: formal, relaxed, disorganised etc etc. and the food!

My wedding was fairly typical of the early 70s..a church do with a reception for 60 family and friends in a pub. We made a donation to the church flower fund for the church floral arrangements! Wedding at 2:00 and we were off on our one night honeymoon in Windsor at about 6:00! We did have bags of sugared almonds as favours though! My dress cost £32 from Dickens & Jones in Richmond. I had a maid of honour but no bridesmaids as DH had four nieces and I thought that was too many! No hen do and the stag do was the night before in a local pub!

I find the title of this thread incredibly patronising, generalising as it seems to do, that all weddings "today" are of necessity "big, fat weddings ", costing an arm and a leg , with meringue dresses,fairy princess carriages and Barbie lookalike brides.
Some are, some are not.
Who is to say and how can you extrapolate from the predilections of some that ALL are of necessity a waste of money?
Are all today's expensiveholidays a waste of money? Are all expensive new cars or 4 bed houses a waste of money?
Define your terms, please and choose your target with more care instead of firing a broadside at "today's weddings" as if they were all the same.
Cliches do not make for sound argument.
Each of our DDs planned their extremely stylish and different weddings 7 years ago, 4 years ago and just before Christmas. Talented and artistic friends went to the flower market at crack of dawn in the case of two, another friend grew herb boxes as table decorations, this MOB plus a team of willing helpers sewed miles of bunting for one, the old ladies in a care home in Devon made quilted "letter" bunting with the bride and groom's names for the December wedding, one sister baked her older sister's wedding cake, in one case the "ladies of the church" did the church flowers for a donation to funds, in another a gallery was offered as the reception venue, I could go on but won't. My point is, their own highly individual weddings were very, very different from my morning dress and top hat rather starchy affair (but my Mum loved it) 45 years ago in a medieval university chapel, so please don't generalise.

Just one last word on wedding presents, which of course featured in 1970as was the custom, the Pyrex casseroles, teapot, coffee percolator, sheets and towels, canteen of cutlery, etc etc etc.
I was very proud of all 3DDs when they said that their guests' PRESENCE was what they were looking forward to - not presents.

My daughter has been asked to be a bridesmaid (one of several) for her friend. She was delighted until she realised that she has to buy her own long dress (which she will wear only the once) and shoes. She has also been invited to the hen party (which will cost her £150) and then she and her husband have to stay overnight for 2 nights in a hotel for the wedding itself (another £150). Then there is a present to buy........Fortunately their childcare for the weekend will be free (me)!

To be fair Alea the current wedding industry can be very seductive to excited and hopeful couples!
I don't recall favours being on the scene at all in the 70s except for the Mediterranean custom of sugared almonds , wedding cakes /photographs were pretty standard in style, honeymoons were not lavish, and extravagant hen do, stag weekends were not expected and many receptions were in the back room of a pub rather than a castle or stately home. Bridal make up etc. was not on my radar when I married.

I do agree that many young couples do make sensible choices to minimise costs but I do feel that the stakes have been raised. Like your DDs my DD also sourced flowers/ cakes/car etc from kind friends and we all pulled together to make various bits and pieces to make sure it was a glorious and memorable day without it putting everyone in debt for several years!

I just object to the implication that things were "better" in our day! It is a temptation we grannies sometimes need to resist if we are not to fall into the stereotype of whingeing old biddies "In my day. . . . . "

I think wedding is more memorable when you celebrate it with closed ones rather making it as an "event" by inviting tons of people whom who you don't even know properly!When I got married to my fiance right here in Florida, we invited only about 25 people as we want it to celebrate with our immediate family and friends rather than with the whole community!

All 4 of our DCs' weddings were completely different and special to them (yes, even the one that led to him abandoning her when she was 6 months pregnant). They were also all arranged within months. However it seems to be normal to plan 2 to 3 years ahead....providing plenty of opportunity for the bride to evolve into Bridzilla!

Has anyone watched the 'Him and Her: the wedding' series? Hilarious! Megabridzilla!

If I ever do it again, I'm eloping to Gretna Green!