The House of Hidden Mothers by Meera Syal

A huge thank you to all of you lovely gransnetters for taking the time to read the book and for your fantastic feedback. I am not a grandma yet, but my God I'm working on it! Have a lovely summer!

emmasnan

Thank you for the book, I really enjoyed reading it, the insight into the culture in India was very interesting and I now feel I want to know more.
There were small sections that didn't hold my attention but that may be down to me rather than the writing.

There is a lot of detail in this book and I would like to ask Meera how long did it take to write and research and what made you write a book on this subject?

Hi emmasnan, I think I've answered the question about why I wanted to write about surrogacy, but I'd say about 6 months research and about a year to write the book, although I was doing other things at the same time. I did take 6 months off to write the bulk of the book.

mbody

Just finished this book. A really good read, Meera really brought alive the problems faced by women in India and, indeed, other countries, whilst weaving a fascinating, thought provoking tale. I shall look for her other books now. Does Meera visit India often and have extended family there. Also do the ones in India treat her family in a similar manner to the book?

Hello mbody, yes I have a lot of family still in India - mainly in the north and Delhi in particular - and I've been going around every two years but I feel it needs to be more now. Every time I go back, things have changed so quickly I don't feel I'm keeping up. Most of my family are wonderful, however, as I mentioned before, we did have a property dispute which unfortunately has split one branch of the family completely and that makes us all very sad. It's truly depressing what people will do for money, isn't it?

merlotgran

I really enjoyed The House of Hidden Mothers especially the insight into Indian culture and political issues. There's a lot going on in the book and I think I will read it again so I can pay more attention to Shyama's parents' struggle to repossess their retirement property in Delhi. I found I was so absorbed in the surrogacy plot I was tempted to skim over that part of the story although it played a necessary part in the conclusion.

I liked the power shift between the two women and Tara's 'coming of age'. The ending didn't surprise me although it did seem a bit too neat and tidy.

I'd like to ask Meera, Do you see your novel playing a part in raising awareness of couples seeking surrogate mothers abroad and are India's surrogacy laws particulary lax compared with other countries which could lead to it being regarded as just another outsourced industry?

Merlotgran, that is a really interesting question. I think for people seeking surrogates I'm not telling them anything new, because it's so well known that India is the cheapest place to go, and maybe more importantly because of its as yet unregulated industry, there is no legal claim on any child born from the surrogate mother, whereas I believe this is a very different situation in some other countries. You talk about it being regarded as an outsourced industry - I think its opponents and critics already regard it as that and there have been many discussions about possible exploitation of surrogate mothers and the lack of protection they are offered by some clinics. However, I believe there's a bill being discussed in the Indian parliament (in fact it may have already gone through) which plans to implement strict regulations. One of which, is that surrogacy will only be offered to heterosexual couples who have been married two years. This will undoubtedly profoundly change the surrogacy industry and the people who are able to use it. Some people will welcome this as a long overdue reform of what, at the moment, is an open market. other people will say that it's draconian and excludes many genuine couples who are desperate for a child. Like I said, it's such a complex, emotive area and it really does depend on where you're standing as to whether you welcome the changes or are dismayed by them.

Gagagran

I loved this book and thought both the characters and the dialogue would translate very easily to a screen version.

I would have liked a list of Hindi words at the end so I could be sure what they mean and wonder if Meera had considered doing this?

Hello, I know you and others have asked this. Thank you for pointing this out. I think it's something I should definitely think about including in the paperback.

Annie29

I really enjoyed reading this book.
It was very descriptive and infomative about life in India.
I would like to ask meera if she found the research for the book difficult, as surrogacy is a very private subject and how easy was it to get information on family life in India.
Thank you Gransnet for a great read

It's surprising how much information is actually available on the net about surrogacy in India and I think this is because most of its users are from outside of India. Much of the research and in fact in some cases, the deal is done without ever visiting India. It can be done over the internet and over the phone. So I managed to get a fair amount of research done that way, however I also got to know a couple who have had two children via Indian surrogates, who were invaluable in giving me the inside story and what an emotional, difficult process it can be. I have acknowledged them at the end of the book, but I'm not able to reveal their names as there are some people in their families who do not know about the surrogacy. This does give you an indication of how, for some people, it is still taboo.

Nixnax

Hello Meera I was just reading your answer to maggiemaybe - and it got me thinking about women who are on TV/in films. I wondered have you experienced much ageism? It seems to be an industry where youth is greatly prized. Meanwhile I think you are marvellous and have loved everything I have seen you in. Thank you

Oh thank you very much! And I would need at least three hours to tell you about the ageism in our industry! I'm appearing in a series on Sky Atlantic which has just started, called The Brink, which I filmed in Los Angeles last year with Jack Black and Tim Robbins. And while it was a fantastic job and I worked with amazing people, I was cast as the mother of an actor who is only five years younger than me. And recently Maggie Gyllenhaal, who's 37, revealed that she had been told that she was too old to play the lover of a 50-year-old actor. I think the industry hasn't caught up yet to the fact that women in their 50s and beyond (or so-called 'older women, i.e. anyone over 45) look fantastic, feel fantastic and have the wisdom and life experience to really play the big, complex roles. I think another problem is that so many actresses feel under pressure to have cosmetic surgery, that we are just not used to seeing natural older women on screen, whereas of course, men are allowed to wrinkle and grey up because it makes them look distinguished, whereas it makes us either scary or invisible. I do think this is changing slowly - there are a lot of powerful, vocal women in the business that are trying to change things. However, it does point to a much bigger issue in our society, which is that older people generally are not respected or revered the way they should be. And that's something we all have to tackle together.