April book club - Shtum by Jem Lester

If anything this booked really opened my eyes to the problems and stress involved with having an autistic child, and am shocked at the lack of support that Ben ( and Emma) were given.Does every parent of an autistic child have to fight and struggle like this?
Apart from that aspect, the storyline is both interesting and enlightening. I particularly enjoyed the section near the end describing how Georg goes to find his brother, his meeting withthe boy who became his lifelong friend, and Ben's eventual realisation of the sort of man his father was.

I loved this book. Very well written and moving . It could have been gloomy but was a good balance between humour and the unrelenting fight many parents of children with special needs face to give them a chance of the best life possible in this climate of cost cutting

"Shtum" - Deeply moving and as heartbreaking as it is funny. A worthwhile impressive novel. Very well done Jem Lester

This is a very interesting and thought provoking book.At first I found it difficult to feel empathy for Ben and his using alcohol to get through his days. After reading more, I could see how difficult the situation was. I felt very angry with Emma for leaving them both , until I found out about her drug problem.
The 'letters from the Authorities' were a clever way of showing all the red tape that the family were up against to get the right sort of help for Jonah. I wonder whether this is based on the letters that Jem actually received.
The appeal procedure was so complicated that it makes you wonder how anyone could deal with all the expert testimonies that were needed let alone pay for all the reports.
The lovely relationship between Geog and his grandson was very touching and it was only when we later found out about Geog's brother that the reason for his patience became clear.
Thank you for this edifying book. I now feel that I understand Autism a little better.

Thank you for the book.
As yet I haven't had chance to read , but (especially after reading comments here, and article in Weekend Telegraph) I look forward to reading it soon.

Was so excited by actually winning the book in the competition! And what a book it was! Very powerful first novel - from the heart of the author. The difficulties and tribulations of life with a special child within our education/care system were so brilliantly evoked. For many years I worked as a Special Educational Needs coordinator in a Primary school and twice supported parents through the harrowing tribunal process. This was so clearly portrayed in the book and should be compulsory reading for everyone involved with children. It is hard to comprehend how hard our education system makes it for overburdened parents to get the best care for their children. There are too few schools with the right environment and support for the most challenging children and too little money to fund them. How can this still be the case in 2016?
Jem - An interesting (but equally harrowing) sequel would the fight for Jonah's long term adult placement. This is sadly the next 'hoop' most parents of such children need to fight their way through.

Have just finished reading this book..
What an emotional roller coaster.

I never realised how difficult it was to care for an autistic child.
It's the parents you have to really feel sorry for, but in the end, Ben was an amazing parent to Jonah.

I was especially moved when Ben was giving his testimony in court on behalf of Jonah, describing what his life and his day to day routine is like.

That was very emotional.

His father dying was also sad, but thankfully things turned out alright in the end.

Very cleverly written, I think.

I really enjoyed this book and was pleased that after all the trials and tribulations, all ended on a sort of positive note for Jonah. I know that so many marriages don't survive when they have to deal with a child with a disability, and I felt that the whole way through the book, Jem portrayed the problems and emotions in a very insightful and realistic manner.
I am going to pass it onto my daughter who I know will also find it both interesting and informative due to her work background.

I am stil in the process of reading this book and am so interested to learn about autism and it's affect on the child and family. By chance there is also an excellent serial on BBC T.V. now concerning the same subject.

Jem Lester says that he has a profoundly autistic child and I was wondering how much of his experience has gone into what he's written?

An great read.

Thank you.

I, too, loved this book. It was funny and it was sad but it certainly brought home to me the difficulties of living with an autistic child. I'm currently watching the A word on TV and can appreciate how difficult it must be for the whole family - one never seems to know what the child will do next - it's actions seem completely random. I read in the paper that the author, Jem, has an autistic child so will be very well aware of what happens. I can thoroughly recommend this book, especially to those of us who don't have autistic children - I believe it will help us appreciate the traumas that those people who do have autistic children are going through.

Am still only halfway through the book and finding it harrowing and funny/tender in turns. I sincerely hope that Jem Lester's own life, on which he based the story, wasn't as difficult as this. It does, however, point the way to those who do have autistic children, where to go and how to deal with the (inevitable) bureaucracy involved in asking for/getting help from LAs.
Not at all sure what my final verdict will be.

A compelling title and an interesting picture of a small child covered by a rainbow , drew me straight into this beautiful story. I found it difficult to put the book down and read through many hours when I should have been useful things like cleaning up! Ben, the father, is a complex character, full of guilt and doubts, the little boy made me smile in a sad way, and I was angry with the mother most of the time, probably unjustified. And Grandad so wise, so loving towards Jonah. To Jem I would just like to say that I found one or two of the conversations rather complicated and found it hard to keep up with who was speaking. But I can forgive you that as each character was beautifully portrayed and utterly believable. Thank you.

Really enjoyed this book and found the relationships between characters well defined and believable . In particular the sheer hard work required to maintain cleanliness and some order in day to day living with Jonah. The effort required to get the best support possible was so frustrating to read while the relationship Jonah had with his grandfather was touching and revealing. Ben felt alienated from his father ..the outsider...while Jonah was privy to his history and emotional life despite all the challenges that his autism presented or perhaps because of it.
I wonder like other contributors if the author used his own experiences as the basis for his book and if so how difficult was it to get the balance between personal history and fiction .

What a fantastic book. I couldn't put it down. A real insight into life as parents of a severely autistic child. Ben seemed to cope the only way he could but escaping into drink but still a sad but good father despite total frustration. I laughed, I cried and have recommended the book to everyone I know.
Thankyou for a free copy

I am still finding this a rather difficult read. On one hand, it is very funny and tender, on the other the situation is insuperable. I haven't finished it yet...
The story makes for a difficult read, both for enlightening those who don't know much about the whole ASD spectrum, and those who have/had to live through the difficulties faced by Ben and Jonah, Emma and Georg. Who can condemn Emma leaving her son, who cannot love the relationship between Georg and Jonah, Ben and his son...
One of my young friends, a single mother, has an ASD son, but he is high functioning Asperger's'. Nevertheless she encounters many similar problems to Ben and Jonah with the various government agencies; and no end of problems with the secondary school he goes to. We have the 11+ and he sailed through, but the grammar school he has been sent to, supposedly an "autistic-friendly" school, can't deal with his many anxieties and his self-harming etc. It is a dreadful situation for her to find herself in.
She also has had breast cancer and has to face her early demise - what to do with the boy? Will he be able to look after himself in adulthood? should she appoint guardian/s for him? how much will he be able to cope with? all unanswerable questions at the moment.

A very moving read, had a job to put this book down. I t offers a very realistic eyesight into the issues facing both parents and children managing this condition. Thank You.

SHTUM by Jem Lester - Review
This is a book about a profoundly autistic boy and his family's struggle to secure an ideal residential school for him. I assumed that the title would refer to the child's silence, but it is all about the secrets and lies that families keep. From his mother, to his father, to his old Jewish grandfather, they all maintain a silent facade to cope with his disabilities. One of the most moving books I have ever read, it had me in tears several times over. Nevertheless, there is plenty humour and above all, hope. A fabulous book, well worth reading
I think I found this book even more moving as we have a family member with similar problems and I know how much his family have struggled to access support for him over the years. I hope Jem's son in real life, continues to be supported.

Read this alongside watching "the A word" which aptly demonstrates where these two boys were on the autistic spectrum. At times I was appalled by Jonah's parents' behaviour and at the same time felt "there for the grace of God". A brilliant read.

A really good read that explored so many issues. It demonstrates so well how hard it is to care for a child like this and how difficult it is to maintain any normal family or working life at the same time.
I have a family member also trying to get a residential place for her child - not autistic as it happens - what a shame that these types of places are so few and far between and so expensive to run that so few children get that opportunity to be properly cared for outside their family setting

This is a difficult book to comment on. It certainly is not enjoyable and I couldn't recommend it to anyone looking for 'a good read'. I am sure it would help some family members to understand the problems faced by someone having a person with profound needs, not necessarily those of autism, living in close proximity. Perhaps too many years fighting for too many people in need made me find the book depressing as it brought back memories of struggles and the realisation of how great is the need and how far beyond society's means to meet it.

I can understand why the author wrote it; the excuse to talk about things usually not expressed is therapeutic. I am less sure why it was published in an edition which is much prettier than the average book — perhaps to ease the pain of the content? Only Ben's friend Johnny and his family come across as likeable; Maurice deserves respect though he is ill used by Ben, just as Valentine is. It is a book of unsympathetic characters with little to give a lift to the spirit. I wonder that this is literature, or entertainment, rather than a text book for a social studies course. It is, of course, well written, or it would not have caused such reactions. As for those requesting a sequel, the political pages of the serious newspapers will provide several.

Thank you for the book. I always welcome new reading material, but I can't think of anyone I know who would welcome it being passed to them.

Many thanks for a copy of this book and WOW This book makes me feel humble
and appreciative of the life I have . A hard hitting book on one families difficulties
with a severely disabled child and his knock on effect to others and their various
coping mechanisms that made the situation worse. The story was real the characters were real and it was a real treat .

A vey moving and emotional story that makes the reader appreciate the life they have. I certainly had no understanding of how severe autism could be or the strain it could put on a family with a sufferer. I can understand the excessive drinking of Ben. Many of the characters come across as not very likeable but this only adds to the realism of the story and shows how tough the fight can be for a family trying to get the care they believe their child deserves and needs. Can I ask Jem what he hopes the book will achieve in the field of autism and care?

A hard, but very moving novel which gripped you from the start. How difficult life became for everyone, but the end gives hope for them all. So interesting to read this alongside viewing The A Word. What a struggle Jem has had with his own son and how brave to share his thoughts and feelings with us in Shtum. Thank you Jem and GN; so good to widen one's mind and genre.

Yes I enjoyed it on some level and was taken with the content matter,the story and the writing. Working with children myself I perhaps felt it was rather a busmans holiday but found it ultimately uplifting and moving due to the great characterization of Georg. Ben is not particularly likeable though the love for his son with all his challenges shines through. It's pleasing that the profile of Autism has been raised but the effects of living with it do not make either easy or positive reading ; I certainly would be loathe to recommend this to anyone with a new diagnosis of Autism within the family as it is such a variable spectrum and this is a story of extreme measures to achieve best outcomes.

Thank you for my copy of this book. It is certainly not one I would have chosen but I am so pleased that I read it, I learnt so much. As others have said it was hard to read, so many emotions running though the story and even though the characters were not all likeable people I wanted to know what happens and had happened to them. A very moving story. Thank you Jem.