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Books/book club

Is it rude to not finish a book club choice that was selected by someone else?

(22 Posts)
Pleasebenice Tue 12-May-26 08:06:12

I normally read the book club choices. We take it in turns to select them and sometimes people don’t read them and others take a dim view if you reject their offering. This months book is very violent and I have given up on it. Is that rude?

SpinDriftCoastal Tue 12-May-26 08:11:39

Well, I suppose you could be honest and say that you did not like the violence in the book, therefore stopped reading it. Or, you could ask AI to give you the story and pretend you read it. Depends how many questions and how deeply they discuss it. Good luck on whatever choice you make. In the past, when caught in that position, I have remained silent and, if asked, said that I was unfortunately unable to finish it because of ...insert reason.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 12-May-26 08:20:37

I have recently come to the conclusion that life is too short to read a book that you are not enjoying.

If asked I would politely say sorry, I tried but it’s just not my cup of tea

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Tue 12-May-26 08:21:13

Of course it’s not rude. Be brave and just give your reasons for not continuing.

Our book club celebrates its 20th anniversary in the autumn. My friend and I started it when we worked at the hospital together and I truly believe what has kept it going is (a) only meeting once every two months to give us all chance to read other books - especially if one is a slower reader, like me and (b) we come up with new ideas - change of venues and how to choose books, whether to score etc. The opportunity to enjoy a glass of wine always features! I van honestly say we truly talk about books for the whole two hours. We find it a joy.

We always say “this isn’t homework” so don’t feel you HAVE to finish the book. Life’s too short! Good luck Pleasebenice.

ViceVersa Tue 12-May-26 08:28:15

I think I'm a bit odd, as I just can't bring myself to NOT finish a book, no matter what.

Sparklefizz Tue 12-May-26 08:29:56

GrannyGravy13

I have recently come to the conclusion that life is too short to read a book that you are not enjoying.

If asked I would politely say ^sorry, I tried but it’s just not my cup of tea^

I totally agree GrannyGravy13

Jaxjacky Tue 12-May-26 08:31:04

I’ve done it a few times and I’m not the only one in our group, GG13 echoes my view.

Sadgrandma Tue 12-May-26 08:31:58

I eventually gave up my book club as I really hated some of the book choices and struggled to read them. In the end I felt as if I was studying for an A level and never had the time to read the books I really enjoyed.

MayBee70 Tue 12-May-26 08:39:41

GrannyGravy13

I have recently come to the conclusion that life is too short to read a book that you are not enjoying.

If asked I would politely say ^sorry, I tried but it’s just not my cup of tea^

That’s a piece of advice that someone gave me many years ago and it’s good advice. He also said it doesn’t matter how far into the book you’ve got either.

Dontcallmelove Tue 12-May-26 08:43:44

We are usually quite honest in our group and will say that we didn’t finish a book because we didn’t enjoy it or didn’t have time. We also admit to skimming books that we find boring! I think what is rude is when someone turns up, hasn’t finished the book and doesn’t want us to disclose how it ended. It means we can’t have a proper discussion.

Sarnia Tue 12-May-26 08:47:10

This is one thing I enjoy about book club. There are so many different views on the same book. I usually read the book we have been given and I have discovered some wonderful authors that I would have discounted in the past but on occasions and with the best will in the world I cannot finish the book. Say so at your next meeting. Everyone there is entitled to their take on the book and it would be very boring if everyone thought exactly the same.

foxie48 Tue 12-May-26 08:51:22

Not in the book club that I go to. In fact we've changed how we do things now, we are small in number and diverse in taste so we read what we want to, use the meeting to recommend books to the group members, usually say if we think a member won't like it and generally have a nice chat over a meal and a drink. It is very relaxed and most enjoyable.

TerriBull Tue 12-May-26 09:04:26

I don't think so, life really is too short to persevere with something that isn't to your taste. One of our members declined to read much of the our last book once she'd read a couple of chapters, she was quite honest, said she didn't like the content. Books are incredibly subjective so it's understandable what floats someone else's boat may not be your cup of tea.

Since joining my book club, we've been going about a year, there has only been one book that I thought was excellent apart from my own choice grin and that book "The Women" had been lying on my shelves anyway, I hadn't got round to it. I like the social aspect, but some of the choices, have been okish, a couple a bit boring, but I've got through them.

Doodledog Tue 12-May-26 09:16:01

Dontcallmelove

We are usually quite honest in our group and will say that we didn’t finish a book because we didn’t enjoy it or didn’t have time. We also admit to skimming books that we find boring! I think what is rude is when someone turns up, hasn’t finished the book and doesn’t want us to disclose how it ended. It means we can’t have a proper discussion.

This is how I see it. Also people who only turn up when they have enjoyed the book, so if you choose an unpopular one your evening is difficult.

There can be as much to say about why you didn’t enjoy it as there is about why you did.

Aveline Tue 12-May-26 09:28:23

Just reading this has confirmed me in my decision not to ever join a book group. Reading is so important to me. It feels as necessary as breathing. I'd really dislike the feeling of constraint imposed by even the most casual and friendly book group.
I very rarely give up on a book but it has happened before now. Usually because I really dislike the characters.
Tip: I recently discovered BookBub. It's a website that scrapes the internet for book bargains, often one day offers that I'd never find as I'd not know to look. Not an advert. Just a suggestion for keen readers.

ginny Tue 12-May-26 09:34:48

The whole idea of a book club is to read and compare thoughts . Therefore I see no reason to say that you didn’t finish it because of the violence or whatever put you off. I have no problem not finishing a book that I am not enjoying.

Calendargirl Tue 12-May-26 09:40:32

I love reading, but cannot imagine being presented with a book that didn’t appeal.

So no, would rather sit and read my own choices, if I can’t get into ‘it’, would not feel bad, but it’s rare for me to not finish a book.

mumski Tue 12-May-26 09:42:39

Our book club was formed out of Covid, when so many were sent home from our office. We meet up on Zoom every two weeks.
We have an agreement that if we are struggling with a book, read the first 100 pages then stop if you still don't like it.
It has served us well, and it takes the guilt away.

Witzend Tue 12-May-26 09:45:27

mumski

Our book club was formed out of Covid, when so many were sent home from our office. We meet up on Zoom every two weeks.
We have an agreement that if we are struggling with a book, read the first 100 pages then stop if you still don't like it.
It has served us well, and it takes the guilt away.

Goodness, if there’s something I don’t take to (style or content or whatever) there’s no way I’d manage 100 pages!

So perhaps it’s just as well I’ve never joined a book club.

Iam64 Tue 12-May-26 09:53:19

Our 25 year old book group accepts not every choice suits everyone. We can still join the interesting discussion if we’ve had a go but given up on finishing

petra Tue 12-May-26 09:55:24

GrannyGravy13

I have recently come to the conclusion that life is too short to read a book that you are not enjoying.

If asked I would politely say ^sorry, I tried but it’s just not my cup of tea^

I’ve always done that. Fortunately it’s rare that I buy a new book. The last one I bought was Where the Crawdads Sing.
The librarians in my little library must think I’m an avid reader because I take out about 10 books.
The reason I do this is because if it doesn’t grab me in the first few pages it’s a no no.
I’m the same with films/ tv series.
These activities are there to be enjoyed, not endured 😂
As for feeling rude about their choice, no, I’d just say I didn’t like it.

Mollygo Tue 12-May-26 09:57:15

No it’s not rude. Life’s too short and we have different tastes as you can see in the 50 book thread.
I’ve arrived and apologised for not finishing a book, as have others in the group.
I like the idea of getting an AI run down of the story, but it’s probably better to admit DNF and explain your reason.
A couple of times, I’ve gone back to try the book again having listened to others comments on it, though I never finished Wolf Hall.
Mrs KIA who lectured those who DNF didn’t stay long. She left, presumably for a more biddable group.
I like Bookbub too Aveline . Sometimes it’s a special time limited offer on a favourite author, besides the 99p or £1.99 books.