Older Love

bluebell

It would have certainly would have caused some problems if my father remarried.
I owned half the house and was in occupation.

Frank

After my Granddad died, my Nanna started going to Saturday afternoon bingo sessions with her friend They were both widows. After the bingo they would go for afternoon tea at a local hotel. It was there that they met two gentlemen, neither of whom had ever married. My Nanna and one of the gentlemen soon fell for each other, and announced their engagement. It didn't go down very well with my Mum. My Granddad was only fifty six when he died of MS, and my Mum absolutely idolised him.. However they were soon married, and he was an absolute angel with my Nanna, a real knight in shining armour. My Mum soon warmed to him, and he made my Nanna really happy. Unfortunately he died after they had been married for only five years. My Nanna didn't want to have another relationship,she said that she had loved, and had the love of two wonderful men, and that she didn't want to take the chance of maybe being unlucky. Older people can't give up the second chance of love. If that person is a good and worthy person, it is wrong for other family members to discourage it.

Or him, who knows!

I agree with HUNTERF.

I know of a number of instances where a second marriage has caused great hurt and resentment to adult children.

For instance, a friend of mine's mother died and her father remarried fairly soon. When her father died the second wife kept all of her mother's ornaments, furniture and anything else of value and this caused great distress.

I would be (fairly) happy to see DH with a new partner if I die first but only if he does not marry her and disinherit our children.

I am quite sure that if one of us was left alone our DSs would be delighted to see us happy with a new partner. If you are talking about money again Frank that is the last thing that would be on their minds.

Frank - your view is a very sad one. Is it just about the inheritance issues?

Frank, don't you think that certain marriages, whatever the age of the couple, may cause problems to the couple or their families. The most notable recent example ( mentioned on other threads) was the Charles and Diana fiasco.
At least, with the advantage of age and experience, I'm sure that marriages in later life are more likely to succeed.

I still believe that marriages later in life cause problems to families and they are best avoided.

Frank

I spent a lot of my years as a nurse being separated then divorced. I was told many times by a elderly man and his wife," boy your husband sure is lucky to have you"I would smile and say " no,you are the lucky ones". I saw many good and bad relationships but the older couples always warmed my heart.

Hi dorsetpennt. Did you ever think that your love story from M&S would get so many different replies and spin-offs? It has been and still is one to "make you think". Thank you.

So glad to hear that you are happy in Australia Joan. Our neighbours moved over there twenty years ago, and they have never looked back.

Gally I know I can't say anything that will alleviate the alone-ness you're feeling, but I can say I admire your fortitude and willingness to involve yourself with friends, holidays and all the travelling you've done to be with your family, since John died.
Take care.

(((hugs))) Gally - not much help, I'm sure, but heartfelt!

I was married for just 38 years when John died 16 months ago. Reading theses posts is very emotional- I miss the everyday contact - all the 'little' things, and life can be very lonely. I am in Portugal with very caring friends who were both widowed in their 40's, and have now been married happily for 23 years. His son is here too with his girlfriend and although I am having a wonderful time with them all, I still feel very 'alone' and apart and wish I too had a someone to share the holiday with and chat to at the end of a lovely day

HMHNanna I meant the weather looked bleak! I do not miss the Pennine winters at all!

grandimars my Dad was born in Rastrick and delivered milk from their farm all round Brighouse in the 1920s from a horse and cart. Lots of my relatives were Rastrick or Brighouse born and bred too but I am a Last of the Summer Wine girl being born in Holmbridge. We spent our married life in Hipperholme from 1965 to 2003 when we took the road south to be near our DC and DGC. No regrets though of course Yorkshire blood still runs strong in us both.

HMHNanna My mother was born in Brighouse, and my grandfather's family had lived there for several generations. My grandmother's uncle had a big bakery and shop in Commercial St but I suppose it's gone now. Although I live happily in Oxfordshire now, a bit of me still lives in Yorkshire.

I'm in Queensland, Australia. We had the chance to emigrate in 1979. We liked Australia but loved Britain. But Thatcher got elected, and that tipped us into coming here. We thought our newborn son would have a better chance in life. He did well, and is in a career he loves, teaching grades 10 to 12 ( 6th form equiv). We have an Australian born son too, who is also happy and doing well.

But.....the homesickness is a pain, though I think it is the Britain of 33 years ago we miss!!

Where are you now * Joan *?

A bit bleak! or I miss it a bit Gagagran ? There is something about Yorkshire that I think always says with us,

You are all getting closer to Mirfield, where I was born, grew up and married 46 years ago. All my siblings seem to have stayed married for decades - my older brother since 1958: they still have a happy life together, in their 70s and still doing lots of walking and cycling.

We watched Last Tango in Halifax and we had fun remembering the places - from the other side of the world.

Last of the Summer Wine was a good one too, for giving expats from West Yorkshire such homesickness.

Hi grandimars and*Gagagran*, my Auntie and Uncle still live in Brighouse, My auntie was a former Nursing Sister at Halifax General up until the 1970's, now known as Calderdale Hospital..
I always enjoy visiting Yorkshire it brings back so many happy memories.

I lived in Halifax from when we married in 1965 until retiring to the south in 2003 but I have to say I much prefer the gentler countryside and climate of the south. I enjoyed Last Tango in Halifax and recognised many of the filmed locations but it did look a bit bleak!

I was born in Halifax too, and lived here till I was 11. We didn't move far away as my mum had a florist's business there and we had several relatives there. It's a much cleaner town than it was then , and the buildings are very attractive now they're not covered in soot!

Funnily enough Joan, I was born in Halifax. We moved to Blackpool when I was six years old. My parents and grandparents bought a hotel there. My husband was the boy on the bike ( like the Hovis bike), who delivered the bacon and bread to the hotel. The rest is wonderful history.

There have been no divorces in our known family but we seem to have had more than our fair share of marriages ending through early death.
Oddly enough it is mainly the women who have died early.
In some ways this is worrying as there will be no relatives with the Hunter name in about 50 years time as all the younger relatives are all girls / women.
We have had 1 marriage which lasted over 70 years but sadly they have now died and hopefully we will have another 70 year marriage later this year.

Frank