In my experience Gillybob the fact that firstly your grandma says the carer is horrible to her and secondly is coercing her to wear incontinence pads constitutes elderly abuse and as such an Adult Safeguarding issue that needs to be addressed through your local Social Services Safeguarding team as a priority.
*This is not me over-reacting*; the likelihood is that other older persons are receiving the same treatment = abuse of a vulnerable adult. The agency owner also has a Duty of Care to report it as well and is negligent if fails to do so.
Very sadly it is this sort of abuse that is often insidiously happening and remains unreported until something hits the headlines by which time it can be too late.
From years of working in the health and social care sectors I cannot emphasise enough that anything said by a vulnerable person should be taken seriously and investigated and your local Safeguarding Team are best placed to do so.
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