Will we be made homeless

And it's also not endearing to myself when I am looking for advice on my situation and please can you explain how it is indeed helpful for me to be accused of trying to get my gran chucked in a home so I can have her house as this is what has been said more than one , why is it some posters can give me great helpful unbiased unaccusing advice and some insist on continuing with the same 'I'm trying to get her out of her home' line of reply.

I am a fully grown adult who funnily enough knows the difference between forgetting things and doing what my gran does ...thank you very much.

If you want me to write a 10 page dossier on the behaviours of my gran I will if it makes all the more suspicious posters accept that I'm actually trying to help my gran and that I'm not making something out of nothing , which is being touted.

I want my gran to stay in her home because funnily enough she wants to stay there and not leave but god forbid anyone think of the future Jesus wept

I was suspicious because you said your wife and you given up any possibility to stay with your gran (not care for your gran) plus you had not always lived with your gran but never had your own place. You wanted to know how do you get the house without paying for her care. Other things too, your gran having to pay towards costs when you get free rent in her house. I am telling you what I think, trying to insult me because I have stated my opinion shows what type of person you are. Do you want me to spell it out?

Grandson you are not endearing yourself to anyone by being rude to posters whose comments you take exception to. You asked for advice and other posters are only trying to be helpful and to help you see other sides of your problem, and how outsiders might view the situation.
You say your gran is 'showing signs of a dementia related illness'.
Well guess what. We all forget from time to time what we have just gone upstairs for, or leave pans burning on the stove while we are intent on replying to a post on Gransnet. We don't actually have a 'dementia rated illness' or even dementia.
Until your gran gets to the stage of being incapable of looking after herself, and being properly diagnosed, she'll continue to live in her own home.
As others have said, you need qualified legal and social care advice, and to start making provision for your domestic arrangements, should your gran have to sell her house to pay for care home fees. Why not start saving for a deposit on a house of your own?

Yes Farnorth I'm aware she may not have dementia but as I said I'm no doctor and can only make educated guesses as to what's going on with her mental health. But I have many close neighbours asking me a fair few times if gran is ok etc, as we live in a small village and have done for 21 years

Faye as you keep saying it's her house ...and when the carpets are covered in dog mess and she refuses to do anything about it , I have to take matters in to my own hands and sort the house out before it gets to what many older peoples homes look like which is an unhealthy unattractive Heath risk.

When she leaves the heating on all day as she forgets to turn it off , or leaves all the lights on or uses the washing machine to wash 2 things in twice a day I pay for these things when I'm not using them do I moan about it or want any praise? No!

So now I your doubting she even has anything wrong with her , but if you re read my initial post it states a dementia related illness as I'm not a doctor I do not know exactly what's wrong with her but if you call going to the local shop 8 times a day and buying the same things normal then you know better than me..

And to your last sentence 'she would still be worrying that I want her out of her home and into care"

How would I benefit from that if her home is used to pay for it....as I have said again and again I wanted advice as to what happens to me and my wife and children if and when my gran may need to go into care , and not anyone got any info on hwo to swindle the system as you persist in saying I am doing ...you can be as suspicious as you like as it's more your demons that make you that way

It's possible that your GM's memory problems may not be caused by dementia. There could be other, curable, reasons for it.
In the meantime, try to make life as easy as possible for your GM.

Here is a link to helpful hints on the Alzheimer's Society website :

www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200466

I guess the quick answer to your original question is yes, you could be made homeless if your GM needs to sell her house to pay for care, unless you can afford to buy the house at that time.

It's not cheek Grandson123 she shouldn't be paying towards anything. It sounds like you have free rent and the carpets were also for your benefit. Sadly elderly people do get exploited and bullied, it happens all the time. I don't understand why she has to contribute to any costs, it doesn't sound like you pay her any rent. If you get offended, so be it, but that makes me even more suspicious.

I also feel sorry for her, if she even has dementia she would still be worrying that you want to out her into care when she is not ready to leave her home.

Grans well being is my main concern hence the reason I have and continue to do anything that helps her without removing her freedom..

Yes I didn't think that it was too unreasonable of myself to want to know where i stand when inevitable does happen and grans needs more care than myself and wife can provide .

It's just the title and my post does not say in anyway how can I get around care home costs or anything along them lines it's simply trying to find out where is stand if my gran needs to move into a home...

I understand her going to a care home is a long way off at the moment and I'm aware that everything will be done in an attempt to not remove her from her home ...

I think it goes without saying that the old lady's well-being has to be paramount in this situation. Unfortunately these complex financial issues can get in the way of the decision-making process.

Grandson123 - I can understand that alongside your concerns for your grandmother you might also have worries about your own situation and this is why you need to get the right advice. And she too needs a proper diagnosis. This may be a slow process, and you need to seek help if you feel you are struggling with her care in any way - for her benefit and for yours.

Do not take offence at any of the posts on here - we do not know you, and I certainly am very aware of many situations that I experienced in my career where elderly people were in fact being exploited by their relatives - sadly it does happen.

Buying the house is a avenue I will pursue ......

And farnorth people who post subjective and negative replies which do not offer any productive advice are the main reason less people even ask for help on forums and I do not appreciate someone guessing and insinuating things when I have given the FACTS in return for abit of neutral advice not a character assassination which is what a couple if other posters have done...

I thank you for your HELPFUL post I appreciate it

A lady I knew (who did not have dementia) went into care. She had willed her house to a relative and was upset that this would not happen if the house had to be used to pay for her care.
Luckily, the relative concerned was able to raise the money to buy the house, at the market price, and the LA was happy with that as the lady then had the funds to use for payment.
So, Grandson, it doesn't have to be all sorted out ahead of time. If you may be able to buy the house, you can deal with that when it is necessary.

Please try not to take offence, we know nothing about you, after all, and people are bound to look at things from all angles.

Also FAYE you say big deal to buying carpets throughout but when the boiler went pop last year who paid for it when it costs £2500 I did ..but I want a free ride don't it ...the cheek

My gran Begged me for my wife and step daughter to move in as my grandfather passed she has been lonely and as I wasn't sitting in the living room with her everyday she felt better with people in the house more ...

You say I'm enjoying the benefits of her house ...do you realise that my 'new family' is currently living in 2 rooms of a house and you think I'm reaping the benfits do you get a grip we have a spare bedroom as our living room my new baby doesn't have a bedroom and won't whilst we live here but I am here because nobody else cares about my gran....

Don't take offence if we get suspicious. We have cause to from other new posters who haven't been straight.

Either way the longer Gran lives at home with family support the better all round.

Grandson - have you thought of becoming a dementure friend? There's a training video to show how to help cope. My DD1 says she did 'in preparation' - I am getting a little forgetful (!) - she's got the badge and everything!

Thanks Faye for that disgusting post ....again I take great offence to what you have posted and you should be ashamed of yourself ...

I am a 26 year old man who has taken it upon myself to continue to care and help for my gran, I do not have to I could easily leave the property with "my new family" and get on with living my life but I haven't , do you know how stressful it is trying to help someone who doesn't want the help but desperately needs it, if you spent a day in my life you would apologise for what you posted...

I am the only of my family my gran has, as her own daughter hasn't spoke to her for 20 years and lives in America...and I am the one she doesn't trust when I have do e nothing but try and help her ...I have come on here for Advice not to be accused of trying to 'get rid' of my FAMILY to better myself

We crossed posts Grandson123 I think I was right. By the way you shouldn't be asking your GM for any contribution to bills as it appears you are living there rent free and it is after all her house. You put in new carpets, big deal, you are enjoying the benefits of her house.

Why do I have the uncomfortable feeling that you are hoping Grandson123, that your GM has dementia. She may be forgetful but not everyone ends up with dementia, nor does everyone want to end up in a care home to make way for their GC. She would be aware that you want her diagnosed so that she can go into care and you can continue to live in her home with your new family.

You say you have given up the chance to have your own home to look at your gran though your history shows you have only ever lived at your GM's and your wife's house. Now you are back again at your GM's house, you have never attempted to live in your own home. Is your GM happy with the arrangement of your wife and her child moving in? Your GM must be feeling pressured while you look at ways of putting her into care and keeping her house for yourself. It appears to me you want her house and you want her out as soon as possible. It must be awful for her to be told she has dementia and needs to move out of her home.

All I can say is she is not dead yet, you are not entitled to move her out and keep her house.

Firstly thanks for everyone's responses it's greatly appreciated ...

Secondly nelliemoser I will ask you politely to refrain from posting on this thread as what you have written has annoyed me very much as it's completely wrong and actually I have taken great offence to you suggesting anything of the sort ...

For the person who asked me and my wife are sorting out all bills do asking my gran only for a contribution towards them , I have also refitted new carpets through the whole house which I paid for.

I have tried to get her to the doctors for a 'routine check up' but she refuse on the day to go, and I have been advised by her doctor that I am powerless until something happens which outside help would be needed.

And was definitely not what I went into social work to do!

www.ageuk.org.uk/Documents/EN-GB/Factsheets/FS40_deprivation_of_assets_in_the_means_test_for_care_home_provision_fcs.pdf?dtrk=true

This what you need to read - it is a legal minefield. Basically, if you are thought to have disposed of assets (e.g transferred your home into you GS's name) for the purpose of not having to pay for care in the future, the LA will means test you as if you still have those assets - and the GS would then be in a fine mess.

The legal niceties are around proving that the house was given to him for that purpose. A lot of that centres around when it was done - i.e. how late in the day. If it had happened 30 years ago then you might be OK, but now that grandma is beginning to show signs of needing care in the near future, they are probably on to a loser.

It does not matter that he is the heir in the will - as long as the lady is alive, they are her assets.

I think the OP does need some legal advice in order to get it right. It will cost him, but, given the amounts at stake, would probably be worth it.

As I said before the only other way around it, so that he can inherit the bungalow according to his grandmother's wishes, is for any care she might need to be paid for by the NHS, but the rules about that are very stringent and another minefield in their own right.

But - if he BUYS the house from her, then all is well, as she will have the proceeds of the sale available to pay for her care. He would then inherit the remainder of that money after her death, assuming she had not used it all for care. Beware - the LA might smell a rat if she sells it to him substantially below the market price! His only hope in that situation would be that he could say in all honesty that his gran lives with him (rather than the other way round) and hope no-one asks too much about the history!

Boy am I glad I am not a social worker any more! Telling people this stuff did not make me flavour of the month!

I am concerned about this scenario in general.

I will look at this as a (?an) hypothetical situation as I do not know the actual details. This is not her Grandsons home as he has no rights to the property. I assume he is living there just by the goodwill of his grandmother. Does he pay rent or part of the running costs of the house?

Any older person should be very careful about granting or allowing ownership to a relative without very good legal advice.

I know nothing about this particular situation but when working I encountered more than one situation where a parent had thrown in her money with her children and bought a property in Spain or such only to be sent home when she started getting forgetful and needing care, dumping the onus back on the local authority.
As it happened the nearest airport to that local authority where the older person used to live was just over a county border further complicating the situation about who had financial responsibility.

It is sad but sometimes vulnerable relatives get manipulated and financially abused in situations like this.

Bums!

There must be a way - it's Grandson's home for Pete's sake!

There is, NFK. They see this as a way to avoid care home fees, and they are right. i think if it's done seven years before it's okay, but not in these circumstances.

Is your gran with it enough to be persuaded to sell you her house? Provided you are in a position to get a mortgage of course. Sounds silly I know, but it would enable you to all stay in the house and for her to have money for her care.

Obviously, the longer she can stay out of care the better.

There's probably a reason why this can't be done - Mishap?