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Eye drops!

(16 Posts)
TheMaggiejane1 Mon 25-Jul-16 20:09:12

My 89 year old father lives 5 minutes away from us and I see him 5 days a week, take him shopping, do his laundry and make his tablets up. Today he had a minor eye op which my brother took him to. My brother (who lives further away than me) is also staying with him overnight. My father has been told he must use 3 different eye drops 4 times a day and he has told my brother that I will have to go over to do them as, apparently, he can't manage eye drops!

Before my dad accepted the date for the op I told him that we were having friends to stay and that I might not be able to see him as often this week. We can't afford to go away this year for various reasons so we have invited friends to stay this particular week as there is lots going on in the town we live in. My dad is going on holiday 3 times this year, he is fairly healthy and can get himself onto buses to get into town. Am I being unfair to expect him to learn how to administer his own b****y eye drops?

grannylyn65 Mon 25-Jul-16 20:11:05


aggie Mon 25-Jul-16 20:18:38

Oh dear ! I remember having to do 90yr old MILs eye drops , she got fed up with me "dithering " and decided she could do without them ! I had to try and coax her but she did try herself and couldn't do it , she was starting dementia though

Ana Mon 25-Jul-16 20:18:46

Couldn't his GP arrange for the district nurse to call in and do it?

chelseababy Mon 25-Jul-16 21:28:48

Recemtly OH needed eye drops. I found them very hard to sinister as I couldn't squeeze the little bottle which was very hard (kept in fridge). In the end I used nutcravkers to squeeze the bottle! I did see that there is a gadget on Amazon and chemists to make it easier to dispense them, quite cheap.

chelseababy Mon 25-Jul-16 21:29:23

Not sinister, administer!

Auntieflo Mon 25-Jul-16 21:47:09

The trick to my OH eye drops, was to just press on the base of the bottle. Not squeezing the sides. It worked very well

annsixty Mon 25-Jul-16 22:27:32

I have been having monthly eye injections for a year now and have to use eye drops 4 times a day for 5 days after each injection. I don't have any problems apart from the fact that I sometimes forget. If I don't think the drop has gone in I just put another one in. I am 10 years younger than your father though , I think perhaps he should just try and see if he can do it.

TheMaggiejane1 Mon 25-Jul-16 22:48:50

Pressing the base of the bottle is a good tip Auntieflo. He tends to have big panics about things and just expects me to be there the second he needs me. He seems to think the whole world should just revolve around him. I've got a feeling I'm going to get lots of early morning and late night phone calls telling me how the useless the eye drop bottles are!
Not sure about a district nurse Ana, it takes half a day just to get through to the surgery so goodness knows how long they'd take to organise anything! I might suggest he phones them rather than me.

BlueBelle Mon 25-Jul-16 23:28:45

I think you should help guide him to learn and see if he can do some himself they can be tricky and he may be a bit scared ... I have to use drops and can miss sometimes My Dad was a very capable man and would never cause anyone any trouble but he had a bit of a job with them and we used to do his for him .... Don't underestimate that it can be tricky unless you're use to it Is there a kindly neighbour who could help out on some of the visits ...highly unlikely to get a district nurse going in four times a day to do eye drops

TheMaggiejane1 Tue 26-Jul-16 19:00:35

My brother stayed with him this morning and I said I'd see him at 4.00pm but in the meantime he got into a panic and took himself down the the hospital as 'the eyedrops weren't going right' . He didn't think to let me know so as well as a wasted journey, I've just spent 3 hours not knowing where he was as he didn't take his mobile! However, the hospital have managed to convince him that eye drop administration is not an exact, life or death process and he seems a bit calmer, let's see what tomorrow brings!

Ana Tue 26-Jul-16 21:17:21

Sorry, hadn't noticed the four times a day bit!

Humbertbear Tue 26-Jul-16 22:24:38

I don't want to sound harsh but my 95 year old mother learnt to do her own eye drops. Get him to lie down or at least make sure he is looking up at the ceiling. We did them for her after her cataract operation a few years ago but now she needs them daily and just gets on with it.

WilmaKnickersfit Tue 26-Jul-16 22:34:11

Maggie maybe he'll be OK now he knows he doesn't have to get an exact amount in his eyes every time. I would have thought that as long as he gets some in every time, that's good enough.

cornergran Tue 26-Jul-16 22:40:28

Sounds like anxiety will be the block and perhaps a belief that he should be cared for. With luck the visit to the hospital may have given him enough confidence, thinking about it shouldn't he have been shown how to do it after the procedure anyway? Would just suggest as many visits as it takes to either the local pharmacy, the nurse at the surgery or yes, the hospital for eye drop lessons to get him confident enough to cope. He is used to you doing loads for him and I guess he just added this one to the list. To go back to your question, no you aren't being unreasonable but there is the possibility that he may just not cope with it. Hope it settles for you all.

TheMaggiejane1 Wed 27-Jul-16 17:52:36

Definitely a belief that he should be cared for cornergran! He's from a generation that believes women do all the domestic chores because men can't. He really doesn't understand why I can't go in every day and cook his lunch. I tried to show him how to cook easy meals but he's never even attempted to do them. He even struggles with ready meals, once he told me one wasn't getting hot enough and seemed quite puzzled when I suggested he should have put it back to cook for a bit longer. 'But I'd done it for the length of time it said on the box' he said!