Have you ever experienced ‘lost’ items at a care home?

Mamissimo well done for following this up at what must be a very difficult time for you. In doing so you are highlighting a major problem that could be affecting other families now or in the future.

I am so sorry that you lost your mum yesterday. Please give yourself a bit of time to take this in, have to say it seems very hard to expect you to clear her room so quickly. I had a week or more before I had to do this when my mum died.
I hope you get your mums belongings back, but if not then certainly contact the police and also the care quality commission.

Oh marmissimo, so many things unaccounted for. I can’t imagine how anyone would think their disappearance would go unnoticed. I hope your courage in following this up will help you and also others, it’s unlikely to be an isolated incident. Look after yourself through all of this. .

Respect Mamissimo for going down the path of making the home account for itself. This is probably not the first time things has disappeared and you are fighting a battle that needs to be fought.

My mother's rings disappeared way before she died. Yes, it was a bad idea for her to have them with her, but there was no way we could have taken them away from her - it was difficult enough settling her into the care home anyway.

It's possible that they were stolen, but my mother had dementia, and being well aware of the likelihood of people with dementia hiding things in extraordinary places, I hesitated to accuse anyone.

An aunt, also with dementia, complained bitterly to my visiting sister and BiL that a valuable ring had been stolen. A thorough search of her room failed to find it - until BiL thought to check the bin. There it was - very well wrapped up in a pair of dirty knickers.
If they hadn't visited that day, doubtless it would have been thrown out. This is the sort of thing that sadly is all too likely where dementia is involved.

The same thing happened to my father in hospital. I hope things get resolved.

Report the missing items to the police, get a crime number and claim on your insurance. Or ask the care home to claim on theirs. If course ring CQC but it's unlikely that they will take any action. You could call up the local rag and ask them to run a story on it.. Unfortunately stealing is rife in care homes. Everyone should be told not to bring valuables into the home, treat it like a public place/hospital.. You wouldn't take a gold watch into hospital.. Im sorry that you have had this experience. I've had it too with my mum

This thread is 9 months old, so advice about reporting losses to the police is a bit late!

Give your jewellery away to your family........just keep the bare minimum. I am sorting it out, as I write, what to give to who .......

Sometimes old posts need to be re-visited maybe to give a fresh look on the matter. Times change as do posters

After all this time I think the only thing I can usefully add is....reader, we won. ? I was able to find photos of Mum, taken in the home, with the missing items and wearing her rings and watch. A reputable jewellery provided a valuation based on the photos and original purchase receipts. Her final invoice was cancelled and we received full financial recompense from the home.

The home now has revised policies and procedures for protecting residents belongings when they move rooms.

My sister and I spent the money on a piece of jewellery each to pass on to our families from Mum.

The payment didn’t by any means make it better but I’m glad I fought until they accepted liability.

Would I let her have her things with hindsight? A resounding YES! They were hers, the symbols of her marriage and until she died I had no right to take them from her....and nor did anyone else!

Thank you for the update, Mamissimo.
That was an appalling situation and I'm glad the home has tightened its procedures.
They ought to be ashamed of themselves for having sloppy procedures that allowed this to happen.

I’m glad you ‘won’ Mamissimo, but what a horrid thing to happen. Money can never replace things with such sentimental value.
Did you inform the CQC? I wonder how it would affect the rating they give the home.

I don't believe in risking leaving expensive abf sentimental items to luck that no one will steal it from vulnerable people. It's like leaving your front door open, getting burgled and saying you'd do it again because no one has the right to thieve from you in your own home. It's very naive. Sorry if that offends you. I am making the point to urge others not to trust any care home with loved ones expensive items. It's not worth the risk and heartache when things go missing. Care home policies won't stop this happening and neither will the CQC.

Well done for pursuing the case Mamissimo - regardless of the value it's the principle. You should know that your valuables or personal mementos are safe when in care.

I was fortunate that the only things which went missing from my parents rooms were Mum's hearing aids and a piece of equipment to enable her to hear better. More upsetting to me was the fact that no one from the care home attended her funeral even though she'd been in there 4 years and the girls looking after her were very fond of her - they'd gone to my father's funeral two years earlier It still hurts 7 years on.

Well done Mamissimo. Awful situation to have to deal with.

My friend Paati had a pair of socks with the special logo of our elders' group around the top. As seen in picture, left.

One day she saw another woman wearing them and realised she must have been into her room and taken them.
No one at the rest home was allowed to lock their doors, cupboards or wardrobes.

She spoke to the woman who denied it so Paati went to the Manager but by the time they both got back to the TV room, the thief had cut the tops from both socks!
She reckoned she lost 4 pairs of knickers a week to resident thieves.

Paati eventually had to bring all her underwear and anything precious to our group meetings as the staff would take no responsibility and name tapes made no difference at all.

My mum has been seen in socks which weren't hers but it was because the laundry girls had put them in the wrong room.
I have my mum's engagement ring because it is broken and she refused to have it fixed as it would mean sending it away and I have her wedding ring which just falls off her finger. She has no other valuables.
On the other hand one of the carers bought my mum slippers out of her own money because my mum's feet were swollen. She would not take anything for them.

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When the nursing home said her rings needed to be removed why were they not handed to a family member? I would pursue this as far as possible with the home and let them know you are prepared to involve the police.

On a slightly lighter note, you have brought back a memory of my mum and her friend. My mum's friend went into a home and my mum visited her regularly. Her friend kept giving my mum clothes to alter, saying that they did not fit her properly. Eventually it dawned on me that the laundry was probably not very efficient and the friend was being given other peoples' clothes!

I said to mum that, if she carried on altering clothes at the same rate, eventually all the clothes in the home would fit her friend.