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I think I am losing her.

(35 Posts)
millymouge Sat 02-Feb-19 22:25:47

I know many others have the same problem, I suppose I just want to have a moan about the unfairness of life. My sister is 10 years older than me, she had responsible jobs in her life, as a nursing sister and later a probation officer. She never married, cared for our mother for several years until she died and for several years after had a happy social life.
It was about 12years ago her health started to cause problems. Arthritis in her spine, and then general poor health. About 8 years ago we found she was unable to care for herself alone in her home as her mental state was becoming frail She lived very close to us so I was able to be there for her. But things got worse, we were needing 4 carers a day plus me full time. I was being called several times in the night as well, and 18 months ago it got to the state that I couldn't cope any more and she agreed to go into a home. She does have excellent care, but her mental state is declining quite rapidly. She has all the medication she can get to help, but she, as she was, is slipping away. I get many phone calls, she can find my number on her phone, telling me strange things, and when we visit it is the same. It is just so very sad that someone, for some strange reason has gone like this. Life is very cruel sometimes.

GrandmainOz Sun 03-Mar-19 22:01:28

So very sorry for your sad loss, you poor thingflowers

Buffybee Sun 03-Mar-19 21:57:28

I'm so sorry for your loss. flowers

Cherrytree59 Sun 03-Mar-19 21:54:40

Losing a lovely sister is so very sad milliemouge My heart felt condolences.thanks

Bathsheba Sun 03-Mar-19 21:53:18

Such a very sad story. My most heartfelt condolences to you milly flowers

Dawn22 Sun 03-Mar-19 21:46:05

At least you love your sister and have a good relationship with her all your life. That in itself is a blessing. My sister's are two dragons and l don't like them. Feel sad about it always.

Willow500 Sun 03-Mar-19 10:09:23

So sad flowers

Harris27 Sun 03-Mar-19 10:09:16

I send you my heartfelt condolences. I saw mum yesterday and she is so unwell and bag of bones I sometimes cry in the car park wondering how much more she can take. You have been a good sister and she is now at peace. Remember the good times sending you ahug?

Grannybags Sun 03-Mar-19 10:01:32

flowers

Bellanonna Sun 03-Mar-19 09:35:18

Heartfelt condolences from me too, millymouge.

Wobbles Sun 03-Mar-19 09:04:21

My deepest sympathy, sending you a massive bear hug flowers

PECS Sun 03-Mar-19 08:56:14

Condolences for your sister's death.
? In time you will be able to smile at happier memories of your times together.

NanKate Sun 03-Mar-19 08:49:39

I am glad your sister is at peace now. You have been a good sister. ?

travelsafar Sun 03-Mar-19 08:42:30

sad flowers

Anja Sun 03-Mar-19 08:33:11

flowers

Urmstongran Sun 03-Mar-19 08:31:35

My condolences too ?

Bellasnana Sun 03-Mar-19 08:19:38

Heartfelt condolences, millymouge. ?

megan123 Sun 03-Mar-19 08:05:47

flowersflowers

millymouge Sun 03-Mar-19 08:03:31

She is at peace now, died quietly in her sleep yesterday. Saw her the day before and she was perfectly alright, then had a call from the home yesterday morning that they had found her unresponsive when they took her cup,of tea. She was taken to hospital and died without gaining consciousness yesterday evening. The family were all with her. I don't really know how I feel, just empty I suppose. At least she is at peace now.

luluaugust Sun 03-Feb-19 18:10:21

So sorry I know how hard it is to watch someone you love slowly slip away flowers

Harris27 Sun 03-Feb-19 14:27:11

Can recognise what you are going through .painful sending you hugs.?

EllanVannin Sun 03-Feb-19 14:20:26

This is so very sad indeed x

Nonnie Sun 03-Feb-19 14:04:34

Oh I so agree Telly life is so unfair. I know one really horrible person who never seems to have bad things happen. Bad things seem to happen to good people.

Telly Sun 03-Feb-19 13:41:35

While none of us sails through life unscathed, I do think some people get to go through so much more than others and yes, it can seem unfair. At least your sister has you and you have done your best for her. We are all muddling through as best we can. Best wishes to you both. x

Nonnie Sun 03-Feb-19 12:25:14

I know what it is to watch a sister deteriorate. So sorry flowers

Luckygirl Sun 03-Feb-19 11:52:45

Life is indeed cruel - we can only accept this and seek comfort in the fact that there are many kind and genuine people to be found who wish to be supportive. It is tragic when someone declines in this way - my OH is on this road.

Life can be unfair and cruel - we just have to prop each other up and always appreciate those things that are good - or we might go crazy.