Live-in care

So sad for you Granny23
I think the week before my H went into care was one of the worst weeks.
Had I done the wrong thing?
Would I regret it?
How would he react?
I truly think I felt that more than when he died.
I knew then the cancer was so aggressive and advanced that he was going to die,
In the first days it was almost a relief.
Fight SS and get help from Age UK if necessary, they know the system better than us.

g23, is it possible to pay a top up for your dh to go into the home you want. I realise that you are in a different area but we could do that when mum needed residential care. I assume the one you want is allowed dementia patients?

Forgive me if I have remembered your circumstances incorrectly.

I would willingly pay a top-up if that was the problem, as we will be self funding to begin with anyway. The problem is the stupidest thing you have ever heard. Our chosen home, which is run by the LA is not quite up to the modern standards and it has been decided for financial reasons that it will close and the site will be sold - BUT NOT UNTIL A REPLACEMENT HOME HAS BEEN BUILT on another site. As the replacement is not even off the drawing board yet, this has been estimated to take between 2 and 3 years to complete. However the Social Work Department has a policy of not admitting residents to a home unless it can guarantee to accommodate them and meet their needs for as long as they last because a change of Care Home is seen to be detrimental to their well being.

Although, when the proposal to close and rebuild came before the relevant committee, it was pended to the late June meeting for further information. Meanwhile, an over zealous clerk to the Council having noted that the Home was to close, jumped the gun and implemented another Council Policy, i.e. no new admissions from the 1st April, with a view to running the home down, pending closure. This was not what was intended. The idea was to keep the existing residents and staff (around 40 of each) in the old home until they moved en bloc to the New home.

Apparently this order cannot be rescinded until the meeting at the end of June. Meanwhile we are in limbo, not wanting to consider the homes offered 'far away' until there is a final decision on our favoured home.

A bit late in the day, but it sounds as if you have grasped the nettle luckygirl
I hope you can stick to your guns and that the DDs can support you and not muddy the water.
Ignore the “I knew you would do this to me” and think of it as “do this for me”
It is for his own good and while he may seem to have mental capacity in isolated instances, you are right that he does not have or understand the full picture.
Stay Strong!

granny23, what a ridiculous situation. I’m so sorry . Not that words from me fix anything.