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Care & carers

Trouble with my Dad

(11 Posts)
Scentia Tue 30-Jul-19 19:08:59

My fathers care home rang today to tell me they are going to have to put ‘safeguard’ in place as he is making a nuisance of himself to a lady in the care home who does not have the capacity to stop him. It is getting very serious and he is basically sexually assaulting her. He is thought to have no confusion at all but this is VERY out of character and I am wondering if it could be the start of dementia. I have asked them to call his GP and get him assessed, but what will happen if they put a safeguard in place? What does that mean.

silverlining48 Tue 30-Jul-19 19:34:02

Might be a person to shadow your father and stop this happening. The other residents must be protected and this was done in my mother’s nursing home when a male resident’s behaviour became physical.
Suggest you contact the home again to clarify and speak to the gp yourself and if all that fails if a care manager is involved contact them.

kittylester Tue 30-Jul-19 19:40:43

I would get him seen by a gp, go with him and be totally open with the doctor. Why is he in a home?

EllanVannin Tue 30-Jul-19 19:44:12

Perhaps a medication review would be in order ?

sodapop Tue 30-Jul-19 19:48:05

This is not an uncommon occurrence with older men and may well be the onset of dementia. There could be other causes though.
Speak to his GP and the care home staff, they will have had experience of this problem and will be able to advise. They do have a duty of care to all the people in the establishment.

Scentia Tue 30-Jul-19 19:50:13

He is in a home due to self neglect if he lives alone, he was found unconscious last year with malnutrition and pneumonia so I moved him into a home close to where I live as he lived a long way away before. It is so distressing as it is so out of character, I am scared he may do something bad. I will make sure I am there when the GP comes to see him.

BlueBelle Tue 30-Jul-19 19:52:19

Oh do go and talk to them personally don’t rely on phone calls Do you visit your dad does he seem the same as normal ? Of course it could be dementia and sounds like it might well be if it’s so out of character but other illnesses can cause confusion but you need to work with the manager /owner on this one and yes talk to his gp as well
Don’t just rely on a phone call unless you live a long way away

MissAdventure Tue 30-Jul-19 19:53:38

The home will be used to all kinds of behaviours, and they won't hold it against your dad, so try not to worry.
They may just keep an eye out and steer him away from the lady in question.

Luckygirl Tue 30-Jul-19 19:56:38

My Dad did this with live-in carer - it was very distressing for everyone. It can be very confusing for an elderly man on the verge of dementia when his "bits" are being fiddled with and washed by young female carers - the normal social boundaries have been breached and it can be a problem.

Such inappropriate behaviour can also be the result of meds - PD meds can have this affect.

H1954 Tue 30-Jul-19 20:00:36

I have sent you a private message Scentia.

M0nica Wed 31-Jul-19 16:30:45

This is kind of behaviour is usually a symptom of dementia, but a meds check is worth while as sometimes, when someone is on lots of drugs that can cause confusion. Go through each drug, specifically check whether it is still needed and how it reacts with other drugs he needs. Many older people end up taking far more drugs then they need because drugs are always added, never removed.

Incipient dementia can be the cause of self-neglect and the problems you mention prior to his move are consistent with that. the first symptoms of dementia are not necessarily loss of memory, they can include loss of ability to care for oneself properly and confusion on boundaries of behaviour.