Mum in a and e

I fear the hospital just wants her to be someone else’s responsibility rather than what is best for her. They are quite capable to sending her home in a taxi to an empty house, as happened to a neighbour not long ago.

She’s your mum - sort out the parking and stay with her until things are clearer.

Get POA set up.

Your mum seems to be compos menses - she simply needs to tell the nurse that’s she gives her permission to ring you/ talk to you about her health and when she’s ready to come home.

I expect if they deem your mum to be well enough to go home they would then expect your mum to ring you herself about it (patient confidentiality).

I think I’d have let my husband drive home if the parking was a stressful situation and I’d have stayed with my mum.

I hope your mum is alright. x

I would never have left a parent in A & E not knowing what was wrong with them and whether or not they were going to be admitted.

Hi, yes mum is very capable of ringing me herself, and probably will do .I have rang the hospital, she is being admitted,so will be going shortly to visit.I was in a bit of a panic earlier, I have a real phobia of a and e and couldn't wait to get out of there ! Poor mum doesn't know about this, I must get some help with it, as I've had to go with her in the ambulance 5 times in the last four months, my nerves are raw, don't know how much more I can take. It stems from helping to care for my dad who was taken ill when I was 27 we had many phone calls through the night and subsequent a and e visits for the next 30 years until he passed away aged 80. I love mum very much, and wish I could be stronger for her, she is my inspiration a wonderful person.

I would NOT have gone home and left my mother in hospital ever. No matter if she told me to go.

Katyj - I can empathise with your panic, don't feel bad about your decisions. You need to do what is best for you and if your mother is anything like mine she is probably capable of dealing with medics herself.

NHS transport should be for people who genuinely have nobody to drive them home.

Just because you can refuse to collect? Doesnt mean you should! Unless you really cant get there!

It also wont be very nice for your mum. Hospital transport home cam have long waits and multiple drop-offs.

Get POA set up.

That does not override patient confidentiality unless the person does not have capacity for the issue at hand

Compos what !!!!!!

A POA can mean that you have the right to speak to medics about a relative. It could be useful.

Rude

Thanks Mrsj for your kind post, made me feel much better. Your spot on about being able to cope she's very independent, and enjoys chatting up all the ambulance men.She has just phoned me, she has very low pottasium, and has a drip up, hoping to be home tomorrow.

(I do know periods aren't rude)

"A POA can mean that you have the right to speak to medics about a relative. It could be useful."

No more than usual while they have capacity.

Damn auto correct ?

Granny Somerset.,I spent three months in hospital last year and when it was finally time for discharge they tried to send me home to an empty flat,with no food, in an evening,as they were desperate for beds.I’m afraid my ‘Yorkshire’ kicked in and I refused to go before the next day, when my DD would have been able to do some basic shopping for me. I was told I would have to spend that night on another ward -but in the end stayed where I had been for several weeks.
The staff are great, but at times like that ,seem quite heartless in their desperation for beds.

That sounds clearer katyj, I'm pleased your Mum has had some treatment and hopes to be home tomorrow. You did what you thought best, your Mum was being cared for, no need to give yourself a hard time about it. With her permission the medical staff can talk to you and share outcomes. I've been able to talk with medical staff about a dear friend after her permission was sought. Why not ask your Mum how she wants her discharge managed. The hospital staff are likely to assume she will be collected or even return home by taxi. Perhaps be sure your Mum understands if she needs to see her GP once she's home or if further treatment is advised to stop this happening again. Wishing you all well. Try not to worry and sleep well, your Mum is in the right place tonight.

Your mother should not be discharged until a proper home assessment is done and a social worker is satisfied that she is safe at home alone and has all the necessary aids to live safely and well and lead a reasonably normal life
Follow this link www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/coming-out-of-hospital. Age UK and hich have factsheets and information on what the hospital and social services should do for a loved one before discharge from hospital

Thanks MOnica last time she was in hospital about 7 weeks ago she was sent home with a enablament team, they helped for 4 weeks, then she was judged to be able to cope on her own .She was doing really well up until today. I'll have to see how she goes, and ask for another assessment if needed. Thank you cornergran for your kind message and all those that understand .