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Care & carers

Mum in a and e

(23 Posts)
Katyj Mon 21-Oct-19 17:37:59

Hi, mum sent by ambulance to a and e with chest pains, sick and dizzy.Stayed with her a while today, then because of parking trouble, mum said for me and dh to come home.She is feeling much better, but doesn't feel able to walk around.On the way out, the nurse was surprised we were going home, as said her blood tests would only be a couple of hours, then she may be able to come home ! I said would they ring me when they had her results, they said no the Dr couldn't as it was patient confidentiality, never heard anything like it . The nurse really wanted me to stay and potentially take her home, which I won't do, if shes not steady, as she lives alone, and she's also recovering from a broken hip.I feel if I bring her home unwell, we are really on our own.Is it their responsibility to decide if she's well enough for home, then provide transport ?

GrannySomerset Mon 21-Oct-19 17:49:57

I fear the hospital just wants her to be someone else’s responsibility rather than what is best for her. They are quite capable to sending her home in a taxi to an empty house, as happened to a neighbour not long ago.

suziewoozie Mon 21-Oct-19 17:53:34

She’s your mum - sort out the parking and stay with her until things are clearer.

grapefruitpip Mon 21-Oct-19 17:54:45

Get POA set up.

suziewoozie Mon 21-Oct-19 18:00:29

Your mum seems to be compos menses - she simply needs to tell the nurse that’s she gives her permission to ring you/ talk to you about her health and when she’s ready to come home.

Urmstongran Mon 21-Oct-19 18:00:35

I expect if they deem your mum to be well enough to go home they would then expect your mum to ring you herself about it (patient confidentiality).

I think I’d have let my husband drive home if the parking was a stressful situation and I’d have stayed with my mum.

I hope your mum is alright. x

GrannyGravy13 Mon 21-Oct-19 18:02:03

I would never have left a parent in A & E not knowing what was wrong with them and whether or not they were going to be admitted.

Katyj Mon 21-Oct-19 18:34:48

Hi, yes mum is very capable of ringing me herself, and probably will do .I have rang the hospital, she is being admitted,so will be going shortly to visit.I was in a bit of a panic earlier, I have a real phobia of a and e and couldn't wait to get out of there ! Poor mum doesn't know about this, I must get some help with it, as I've had to go with her in the ambulance 5 times in the last four months, my nerves are raw, don't know how much more I can take. It stems from helping to care for my dad who was taken ill when I was 27 we had many phone calls through the night and subsequent a and e visits for the next 30 years until he passed away aged 80. I love mum very much, and wish I could be stronger for her, she is my inspiration a wonderful person.

annep1 Mon 21-Oct-19 18:37:26

I would NOT have gone home and left my mother in hospital ever. No matter if she told me to go.

MrsJamJam Mon 21-Oct-19 18:42:25

Katyj - I can empathise with your panic, don't feel bad about your decisions. You need to do what is best for you and if your mother is anything like mine she is probably capable of dealing with medics herself.

notanan2 Mon 21-Oct-19 19:11:17

NHS transport should be for people who genuinely have nobody to drive them home.

Just because you can refuse to collect? Doesnt mean you should! Unless you really cant get there!

It also wont be very nice for your mum. Hospital transport home cam have long waits and multiple drop-offs.

notanan2 Mon 21-Oct-19 19:13:40

Get POA set up.

That does not override patient confidentiality unless the person does not have capacity for the issue at hand

grannylyn65 Mon 21-Oct-19 19:21:44

Compos what !!!!!!

grapefruitpip Mon 21-Oct-19 19:22:58

A POA can mean that you have the right to speak to medics about a relative. It could be useful.

Gonegirl Mon 21-Oct-19 19:23:09



Katyj Mon 21-Oct-19 19:23:43

Thanks Mrsj for your kind post, made me feel much better. Your spot on about being able to cope she's very independent, and enjoys chatting up all the ambulance men.She has just phoned me, she has very low pottasium, and has a drip up, hoping to be home tomorrow.

Gonegirl Mon 21-Oct-19 19:24:06

(I do know periods aren't rude)

notanan2 Mon 21-Oct-19 19:24:28

"A POA can mean that you have the right to speak to medics about a relative. It could be useful."

No more than usual while they have capacity.

suziewoozie Mon 21-Oct-19 19:25:59

Damn auto correct 😂

trendygran Mon 21-Oct-19 19:35:50

Granny Somerset.,I spent three months in hospital last year and when it was finally time for discharge they tried to send me home to an empty flat,with no food, in an evening,as they were desperate for beds.I’m afraid my ‘Yorkshire’ kicked in and I refused to go before the next day, when my DD would have been able to do some basic shopping for me. I was told I would have to spend that night on another ward -but in the end stayed where I had been for several weeks.
The staff are great, but at times like that ,seem quite heartless in their desperation for beds.

cornergran Mon 21-Oct-19 20:04:47

That sounds clearer katyj, I'm pleased your Mum has had some treatment and hopes to be home tomorrow. You did what you thought best, your Mum was being cared for, no need to give yourself a hard time about it. With her permission the medical staff can talk to you and share outcomes. I've been able to talk with medical staff about a dear friend after her permission was sought. Why not ask your Mum how she wants her discharge managed. The hospital staff are likely to assume she will be collected or even return home by taxi. Perhaps be sure your Mum understands if she needs to see her GP once she's home or if further treatment is advised to stop this happening again. Wishing you all well. Try not to worry and sleep well, your Mum is in the right place tonight.

M0nica Mon 21-Oct-19 20:22:31

Your mother should not be discharged until a proper home assessment is done and a social worker is satisfied that she is safe at home alone and has all the necessary aids to live safely and well and lead a reasonably normal life
Follow this link Age UK and hich have factsheets and information on what the hospital and social services should do for a loved one before discharge from hospital

Katyj Mon 21-Oct-19 21:11:31

Thanks MOnica last time she was in hospital about 7 weeks ago she was sent home with a enablament team, they helped for 4 weeks, then she was judged to be able to cope on her own .She was doing really well up until today. I'll have to see how she goes, and ask for another assessment if needed. Thank you cornergran for your kind message and all those that understand .