Wasn't sure which forum to post this on but since the only reason we need help in the garden is because of my husband's health problems this seems appropriate. My husband loved gardening and just doesn't seem to be able to accept the idea of giving up growing vegetables. He's not able to do it himself and ,not only am I not a gardener, I don't have the time or energy. With great difficulty we found a man, early 60s, self taught gardener. He's a really hard worker but a bit of an odd character, recovering alcoholic, bit of an ancient rocker. I've been very nice to him, given him nice lunches if he's here over lunchtime and ignored his rather colourful language which I've found inappropriate and offensive. I discovered he was actually a painter and decorator by trade so asked him to do some painting for me. We were a bit annoyed, and surprised, that he completely ignored my instruction not to move a cupboard as difficult to get back in place and he actually put the fridge and freezer outside when we'd told him to just push them to one side. I think he sensed we weren't too happy about that. Yesterday he came to cut down some branches in the garden. I had been out with the dog, came in the back door as my husband was going out the front door to the garden. Our young dog excitedly ran out to the gardener. I can understand he was annoyed and irritated by her but I immediately ran out to get her and was shocked that he really shouted at me quite aggressively to 'keep that dog in, I'm trying to do a job here'. It seemed to be directed at me, not my husband. I'm afraid I raised my voice to point out it wasn't me who let her out. My husband, not someone who copes well with conflict,said that he'd have a word with him and, when the chap came in to get paid my husband called me thinking he was going to apologise but in fact he was quite unpleasant to me. I told him that I'd no problem with him telling me to keep the dog in but it was how he spoke to me but he stormed off. I was very hurt and just felt and feel completely disrespected. I decided to text him to try and smooth things over, hoping he might then apologise having realised he'd behaved badly. I said in the text that I hated fallings out and hoped it wasn't irrevocable. I'd hoped he'd come back with an apology but the response I got was ,' cheers ' name', no worries'. It's almost funny if I weren't so upset. I feel foolish too as think he may have thought that I was apologising! I think, as a retired professional,who was used to being treated with respect and treating others with respect, I just feel so belittled. I don't want to have him back but we need help with the garden. How do I handle this. I was sure he'd apologise after getting my text . I just think we've seen a rather unpleasant side to him. Life has been hard the last couple of years with the pandemic and my husband's deteriorating health so I have been quite down at times. This incident seems to have really been the straw to break the camel's back. Sorry this post is so long but just feels quite therapeutic to share it. I'd appreciate thoughts and advice.
