Mum in rehab and hating it.

The poor soul.
I do hope you can get her settled and safe, somehow.
It's not for the faint hearted, this getting old business.

Misadventure . What an awful time you’ve had, it’s truly awful for everyone. It’s never easy. We had a similar terrible time when my dad became ill and disabled at only 57. Mum looked after him for 25 years until he passed. Many phone calls, hospital stays, tears and broken nights for her and me. Caring is the hardest job of all.

It's very disturbing worrying about aging parents such worries. My mum was in rehab because quite frankly they didn't know what to do with her. At the time she had been in and out of hospital with falls. No family was able to look after immediately. Until they could she did have to stay there until her care package was sorted out. I hope your mum settles and gets the care she needs and you look after yourself too.

No wonder your mum is worn out, Katy.
My theory is that they are trying to get her up to tick the "mobile" box off ready for discharge.

Hopefully, though, they have an appropriate plan in place.

I hope things improve for your mum soon, katyj. I don't know how old your mum is but, remembering my own mum's sharp decline after a fall and a brain bleed, I know old people can go downhill very fast. All the best

Katyj

Silver lining. Yes I think it’s very odd too. How is she going to be mobilised if she can’t leave her very small room. Their adamant though that she needs to isolate for 10 days even though their doing daily covid tests. I’m writing everything down, and will get some answers today.

Can you sit with whoever is her primary carer there and ask to see her care plan, risk assessments and notes.

This is a good idea and I see you're going to do this today, good luck.

She should be seeing a physiotherapist and occupational therapist. Unless there is a reason for her not to be allowed to move around much she should be starting gentle exercise.

She's not waiting for a pacemaker by any chance is she? In which case they may restrict what she is doing.

Hi no not waiting for a pacemaker Callist. The social worker called me this morning. She’s still refusing to get out of bed, their trying to encourage her, but if this continues she’ll be sent back to hospital.

The physio is visiting today, if they can encourage her to walk it’ll along the corridor outside of her room. Otherwise the isolation continues for 10 to 14 days . They’ll be having a care assessment meeting at some point too .

Being isolated will not be helping.

It sounds as if she hasn't the energy to get out of bed, the poor woman.
Surely someone can see that?

Is the covid situation standard procedure?
Why is it done- does she have covid, there's an outbreak in her unit, etc?

An person I know, now in their early 80s had a fall and was encouraged to get mobile but basically wouldn't get out of bed either. They (and the family) wanted to get her walking properly but she didn't want to put in the effort (which is probably enormous to be honest).
Nothing worked and she has sadly lost all strength in her legs and now is having to use a wheelchair and seems to have lost all her spark and interests.
It seemed to me to all go "downhill" quite suddenly after an in-and-out hospital stay.
Her sister is a dear friend of mine who has been beyond frustrated with everything but ultimately was unable to encourage her sister to help with her own recovery.

So, as others have said, I think you should try to be as encouraging as you can with her in order to get her moving. Speak to the staff and try to see them as wanting the best for your mum - it may be there are actually reasons you haven't yet understood...
Also, if she can make tiny progress steps you can tell her how pleased you are and become more positive. No doubt it will help her mood and general wellbeing (aside from making it more likely she will get home safely).

I had a hospital stay after an emergency quote recently and I realise now how much even tiny improvements cheer me up.
Thinking of you.

perhpas if she gets sent back to hospital that would be better.
you said she made progress in hosp.
these rehab units can be very isolating, even without being confined to one room. at least in a hosp there is more people, HCPs, coming and going, more of a feel of being in the swing of things.
she sounds depressed, and i would be too, in that situation.
what is the long term aim. is she coming home or going to a residential setting.
will she get public funds for care. if in hosp maybe something more suitable can be arranged.
she should not be forced to remain somewhere that is doing her no good, and is adversely affecting her well-being.

welbeck

perhpas if she gets sent back to hospital that would be better.
you said she made progress in hosp.
these rehab units can be very isolating, even without being confined to one room. at least in a hosp there is more people, HCPs, coming and going, more of a feel of being in the swing of things.
she sounds depressed, and i would be too, in that situation.
what is the long term aim. is she coming home or going to a residential setting.
will she get public funds for care. if in hosp maybe something more suitable can be arranged.
she should not be forced to remain somewhere that is doing her no good, and is adversely affecting her well-being.

I have no experience of rehab centres, but I do know that I would go mental in one. It must feel like a prison, if you are unable to have your own things around you, and be confined to a room.

There have been some good suggestions already on care plans, which would be worth investigating.

Good luck, it must be very upsetting for both you and your mum.

Hi. Isolation is a preventative. There’s 35 rooms and apparently their all full so I suppose they see it as necessary. I’m talking to the staff now daily, so will ask if I can speak with her on the phone, I’ll be able to visit twice a week hopefully.
I don’t think she should go back to her flat as it’s on the first floor, and she has just fallen the full length of the stairs. The social worker has said if it’s her wish to go back there’s nothing they can do. If it’s proven she has dementia they can override it and send her in to care. The flat is housing association. So her care would need to be funded .
Hospital did seem to be the best place for her, they have a rehabilitation ward at the same hospital but when a bed became available early last week she wasn’t ready, bp too unstable they said but it’s no better now. Poor mum think she’s been unlucky there.
Have to wait and see. And just hope she gets some strength and motivation from somewhere.

Katyj:

'I would love 24 hour care for her but this would have to be private and neither of us could afford it.'

Yes, incredibly expensive and difficult to arrange. 24 hour care is more practical in a care home setting. She'll probably hate it there too. If she really can't afford it (you shouldn't contribute) then she should qualify for funding.

Right now, they want her to get up for meals to keep/protect her mobility. If she feels dizzy, she'll resist. When isolation ends, there's the benefit (or not) of socialising at meals. My mother always resisted being told what to do, though - a good sign that she'd stick up for herself and demand some respect.

Hi. Just an update. Mum is coming home tomorrow after many weeks in rehabilitation. She flatly refuses to go into a care home. The social worker says she still has capacity to make her own mind up. So here we are again, how long for who knows. They have upped her carers from 3 to 4 times a day, the O/T lady is bringing her home tomorrow to watch her get on and off the stairlift ? makes my hair stand on end just watching !
Have to keep our fingers firmly?

Katyj, I'm glad to hear she's getting out of there. I'd 'flatly refuse' to enter a care home too, wouldn't you? I see it as just prison for oldies.

If she can transfer to a stairlift, she's lucky to have some mobility left and will be so glad to get home (or is it your home?). She'll avoid the sharp decline (and short life expectancy) that's common in care. It's a worry for you, of course, but best for her.

could you ask the housing association about moving somewhere more accessible, ground floor or with a lift.
the application could be supported by social worker/ occupational therapist input.
good luck. to you and to her.

Hi. Yes she’s moving back to her home a first floor housing association flat. She won’t move into a ground floor flat even though there is one available. Makes me very cross, but hey ho she’s getting what she wants.