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Care & carers

Should I have my husband at home or in a care home ?

(105 Posts)
Notjustaprettyface Mon 09-Oct-23 19:24:47

My husband is 82 and has recently lost almost all mobility after a nasty accident on his electric scooter .
He is in hospital now and will soon be discharged .
He hasn’t had much help in terms of physio and they say he hasn’t got potential for rehab .
So they are either going to recommend he comes home with carers 4 times a day and some specialised equipment like a hoist .
Or if the house can’t take the equipment which would have to be downstairs in the kitchen most likely and / or I don’t think I can cope , it would have to be a care home .
I feel it is a difficult decision to make as my husband would obviously be happier at home but I am not sure I would cope with carers coming in so often and the house being transformed into a mini hospital /care home .
However , the care home costs are scary and I also wouldn’t like having to go there every day or even every other day .
I also worry I will feel guilty if I am the one deciding to put him in a care home .
I don’t know anybody in this sort of situation which is why I am asking gransnet friends if they can give me some advice .
Many thanks if you can

silverlining48 Fri 13-Oct-23 14:08:37

Not sure but perhaps it’s another area of the hospital where he already is. It’s good news that he will have a longer discharge assessment which will help decide what care he needs.

JaneJudge Fri 13-Oct-23 17:41:17

It will be somewhere where they can assess his needs before he is transferred to a nursing or care home. It seems they may have realised or accepted his condition has changed since he was at home/prior to admission. I know it is overwhelming and frustrating but it is a good thing he is being assessed. It simply isn;t true there is no 6 weeks free care anymore, you only have to google to find the information. I hope you are okay flowers

icanhandthemback Fri 13-Oct-23 23:53:01

My aunt was in one of these. Her family wanted her to go into a home because they were worried about my uncle caring for her as she is has kidney failure and the dialysis was making her act very strangely. He wanted her home and my aunt wanted to go home so they did home visits, set up care, etc.
This link may help you understand what happens at the unit. www.nhs.uk/nhsengland/keogh-review/documents/quick-guides/quick-guide-discharge-to-access.pdf
You could also Google where the unit is for your hospital so you'll know how far you need to travel. As far as I am aware, you should be involved in the procedure.

Yongy Wed 29-May-24 15:54:00

My husband will have to go into a care home if his medical problems get much worse, even though he has no wish to do so. The only time I have had a break since 2013 is on the rare occasions he has been hospitalised.

We had a discussion a couple of years before he had these health problems, which began in 2006, about what would happen if either became disabled. My husband said that there was no way he would be able to look after me if I became disabled, and I would have to go into a care home. Therefore I reckon I have done my bit.