Complex care needs for my husband

That’s what I have been thinking fancythat
It’s not as if the nhs is offering to pay for everything, they will only pay for the nursing care element of the total costs

Do not even consider having him back home. he may eat more, but what about all the other aspects of his care? Could you provide the bathing, dressing, moving he needs at home as well as in a care home. he may eat more but suffer more on every other count.

What you need to do is structure your visits so that you are there at mealtimes and can take over feeding, alternatively when you visit always have some of his favourite snacks with you that you can feed him with and always give him drinks.

From what I recall of your previous posts, feeding your husband would be the least of your problems. I urge you to keep him in a home and let the staff deal with his problems. They are too many, and too complex, for you to manage.

I do know someone who looks after her disabled mum at home with carers help. But she is a nurse herself. She is also middle aged.
From what little I know about costs, she pays roughly the same amount having live in carers, as she would pay for a place in a home.

Would he need round the clock care?

I dont know much about all of this really. Just things I am picking up.

No not really
It’s a struggle to get him to drink too sometimes

Does he willingly drink?

Hi Farmor15
I would certainly need support
The problem is I don’t know quite how much or what kind
You hear so many horror stories about carers

Oh what an awful situation. That's a terrible weight loss. But if they can't find any reason for it then, yes he will lose weight if he doesn't eat - and become malnourished.

I spent 4 months in hospital, unable to eat due to a medical issue - and the weight loss was huge, so I'm not surprised he's lost a lot of weight if he's not eating.

If you think you can manage at home, then I think you should consider it. But you would need some back up. He must be very frail and under-nourished.

It might also be worth asking if he can have those supplementary drinks - I had one called FORTIJUCE, it is calorie-dense and has essential nutrients. It's only about 200 - 300 ml so not a massive amount to drink. The NHS give them to patients who need building-up or have problems with eating.

But with his mobility problems- and the pressure sores, which can be dangerous, you really will need home visits from nurses. It's an awful lot to take on yourself.

Can you talk to your / his GP, or his consultant about the possibility of bringing him home - but most definitely on the proviso that his care is overseen by a nurse who should be checking on the pressure sores regularly. You need to explore this with the medical profession.

It's awful being a carer - there is so little real practical help available, I sympathise. I hope you manage to sort something out. .

Can you go in more frequently to feed him?
My Dad lost loads of weight but he too had nothing that serious with him.
Sorry you having this problem but he's better off have the Nursing care.

The weight loss sounds a lot, even if he's eating very little though it may depend what weight he was before recent illness. Sounds harsh, but maybe he wants to fade away and die?Elderly people have so little control over their lives that eating/not eating is one.
Could you have him at home if you had a lot of support?

No, you don't bring him home for any reason. You are clutching at straws, I'm afraid. If you can get him to eat, then do so when you visit. The nursing home can't force feed him, particularly if he has cognitive ability. They'll give him protein drinks. My mum went through a spell of not eating or drinking. She's now eating a little. Bringing him home won't make him well or even better.