101 year old aunty

Is there a reason the others are pushing to sell it? Is there any financial gain for them when it’s sold ?

People who have capacity are just as entitled to make unwise decisions as the rest of us.

I know what I meant.

Tell your cousins your hands are tied until your aunt Is legally deemed not to have capacity Let them organise the capacity testing

MissAdventure

People who have capacity are just as entitled to make unwise decisions as the rest of us.

Yes, but it can be very unfair on relatives who are expected to cope with the consequences of a stubborn refusal to accept that care is needed - and that (if applicable) they will need to pay for it.

Sometimes all you can do is make it crystal clear to both SS and the person themselves what you will or will not undertake to do - and then wait until some crisis or other forces the issue - as it often does.

Oh yes, I know all about "some people's" refusal to comply - my mum was the worst.
But, her decision to make, not mine.
Inconvenient, and yes, latterly, bloody selfish of her, but STILL her choice

It’s her house, her decision, as others have said she’s not going to go on for ever let her believe she ll be home soon a year plus won’t hurt

Yes, that's a very good point @ 12.15 MissA.

Yeah don't harass the poor woman. If you can't wait then you'll have to get the psychiatric assessments. She may have days away with the fairies but that might be due to meds she is on rather than dementia. To be on the safe side you'll need a medical professional to rubberstamp it. Anyway the care home fees are probably already more than the house is worth so...

It wasn't well made, but the point is that if we all started taking over our family lives whenever they made a bad decision, well, that would include all of us, too, because we have all made them.

It's being human.

Despite you having POA, if your aunt has capacity in the moment and understand what selling the house means and entails, then still says no, you should definitely not sell. It is against her wishes and therefore breaking your position as a POA.
I cannot personally see what the rush is, there is plenty of money by the sound of it, sounds like your cousins are worried their inheritance will deteriorate, how sad when people are so obsessed with a possible inheritance. Perhaps she is leaving it all the a cats protection or similar!!! As always mentioned above, it is her property and remains so until the day she dies.

A POA is only applicable if the person giving it lacks capacity. The Mental Capacity Act 2005 has a guidance code to follow. You can ask a GP to make an assessment. Just because someone does not have capacity at certain times for certain decisions does not mean they lack capacity at other times or for other kinds of decision.

She needs a DOL assessment, which should be carried out by a multi disciplinary team, not just decided by one person.
DOL stands for deprivation of liberty, and should only happen if the consequences of a choice could cause serious harm to someone.

Nicolenet

I would not touch the house. Not worth upsetting your aunt. Maybe clean and tidy, wait and see.

I completely agree........she is your Aunt, show her some respect and leave the property alone.
As long as she has capacity you cannot action the POA anyway.
Give the house a bit of a tidy, chuck away any old foodstuffs likely to attract vermin etc and just enjoy having your Aunt in your lives for now - she may not be with you much longer.

Have you thought about equity release to get money for someone to sort out? This will increase the value when you do sell.
If cousins are so anxious, then tell THEM to go fix it. Perhaps they have children who might want to invest in taking it on?

Do look at her possessions - if she is 101, chances are there are things like vintage furniture pieces or perhaps her father's WW1 medals, or even her own that could be sold to fund repairs.
Perhaps mention to Auntie the pressure you are under - she may disinherit them

I sincerely hope she does!
It doesnt bear thinking about, family picking over your home, before you've even died!

Do you not have to register the POA before you can use it anyway?

Surely, the house would have to be sold to pay for care home fees.
I had to sell mother in laws house when she could no longer manage.
And she was compos mentos.
It sounds as if your aunt is well on the way to senility, so I would suggest selling the house now.

if your aunt still has her faculties then you should not override her wishes. I'm not sure if the solicitor has met your aunt to determine her mental capacity.

Nicolenet

I would not touch the house. Not worth upsetting your aunt. Maybe clean and tidy, wait and see.

I absolutely agree with this, it is her choice to do what she wants with her own home even if you know that it is not necessarily the right choice. You don't want her sitting around fretting about not being able to go home.
Perhaps you could speak to her about getting some maintenance done, assuming that there is money available to do this which I'm guessing there will be if she can afford to pay her care home fees?
It need only be the really essential work to stop the house deteriorating.

You have to be quite careful about what money you spend if you spend savings. You can only do repairs, you can't do improvements if it is going to leave you short for the fees. The Council can see this as you trying to avoid paying and they can be quite funny about it.

I agree. That's what I got told too. I had it for my dad and my daughters have it for me. It allows them to act on my behalf with my consent when speaking to companies etc as I have full capacity, thank goodness...🙏 but it's there if needed.

Haven’t read all other replies, so sorry if this a repeat.
Auntie sounds all there mentally. So have a serious chat about putting the house in order. If she thinks she’s going back there then we all need dreams whatever our age. As she’s 101 then your 2 cousins won’t have long to wait before you all inherit the house so tell them of aunties idea that she will be going back to live there and ask that they don’t disillusion her. Say the truth, that the house needs work now, to make it easier to sell when the time comes. Hopefully get their agreement to make repairs and to let auntie know that she can’t go back unless they are done. Not that she ever will, but it’s only decent to allow her to think she will. Only work on the house should be to keep it weather proof and garden kept from being an overgrown mess.

It may be hard on you, but your aunt has a right to live her life as she chooses. She has accepted that she cannot manage at home and has agreed to go into care. However, she still has and owns the house and if she doesn't want to sell it - well, that is her decision.

What you need to spell out to her is the results of that decision. That the house will be empty and unvisited - her continuing to own the house does not mean that you have to care for it. It could be occupied by sqatters, the heating system could leak, if the heating is not on and there is a freeze, then pipes could burst, if it floods, no one will sort it out, if gales blew of roof tiles, they would remain off.

I think you need to make it clear to her that she can continue ownership, it is her right, but if she wants it looked after, fit for her to move back in (however unlikely this will be) it will need to be looked after and maintained, so she will need to employ a company of professional house watchers as no one in the family can do it.

There is more than one approach to a problem like this.

Greciangirl

Surely, the house would have to be sold to pay for care home fees.
I had to sell mother in laws house when she could no longer manage.
And she was compos mentos.
It sounds as if your aunt is well on the way to senility, so I would suggest selling the house now.

No, she has sufficient savings, apparently. No need to sell.