Care needs, but Attourney says there's no money for care, so refuses to activate POA?!

Agree with all that’s been said. Is there another joint relative of A and B who could be brought in? Or do you know the name of B’s GP? Does a neighbour have a key?
IMO You would be justified in contacting the police. The situation does sound very unsafe. I think social workers have more limited powers in an emergency. Or you could perhaps act jointly with B’s other friends.

I was also in a very similar situation some time ago and felt that I had no choice but to make a referral to Social Service - I asked to remain anonymous and they honoured this.
If the family suspected it was me they have never said as much but the person concerned was assessed and is now being cared for but a lovely team.

PS Locking someone in is probably illegal and is certainly dangerous. What if there's a fire? Do please phone Social Services - today.

Germanshepherdsmum

My concern for B would outweigh my worry of falling out with A, who is clearly not acting in B’s interests. I’m afraid my suspicion that A has something to hide as regards B’s finances and may want to protect a potential inheritance.

If B were an animal you would contact the RSPCA wouldn’t you?

I was just going to ask which matters more - the prospect of falling out with A or B's interests. In the light of your comment, I would absolutely definitely be contacting social services to get a care assessment. I'd also mention your other concerns (i.e. the fact that A is on her own for 23 out of 24 hours and your concerns about finance). There may also be Protection issues which social services will be better placed to deal with. The other thing you could do, assuming A is elderly, is to contact Age UK for advice.

As someone said above, you can do that anonymously and even if B does guess it's you, at least A will be safer.

Good luck.

This is a very upsetting and worrying situation Onward. At the very least B should be signed up to a monitoring service and have an alarm she can press if there's a problem, especially with her being on her own for the majority of the time.

I hope you'll make that call to SS and alert them to your concerns.

Being permanently locked in is horrendous. I realise that someone with dementia may wander off or answer the door to someone inappropriate but this is a dreadful state of affairs. It’s unthinkable that B should be left locked in her home and unable to summon help. What will happen while A is away on business? Will she give you a key so that you can visit? I hope so - and I would then get a duplicate cut straight away.

As maddyone says OnwardandUpward...

She cannot even get out of her house if there was a fire for example, and she cannot summon help because she cannot use a phone.

... it made me feel panicked just reading that. The poor woman is defenceless and trapped.

You have to contact adult asocial services in your area - most assuredly they will not implicate you by name if you request to remain anonymous. You say you believe social services may already be involved - in which case I assume A would already be aware of this and so would have no reason to suspect you of escalating matters.

If A is about to go away on a business trip - who is going to look after B? You say she's already alone 23 hours out of 24? You must act quickly.

This is definitely a Safeguarding issue. You need to contact Social services, otherwise you will never forgive yourself if something happens.

I would definitely call the local authority and ask to speak to the on call social worker about a vulnerable person at risk. A could go run!

You need to ring social services and register a safeguarding concern. I recently did this for my brother who lives 400 miles away when the family got very worried about the phone calls he was making to us. We were already aware of long standing issues with the way his wife treated him and suddenly we had reason to think that he might have dementia onset. Because of the distance and the fact that his wife would not welcome us intervening in any way, I rang his local services, explained my concerns and that the matter was urgent and thankfully they took me seriously and took action. I gave them all my personal details to establish that I was who I said I was. Subsequently at the point at which intervention began they asked me whether I want to be named or stay anonymous. I opted to be anonymous to limit the possibility of enraging my brothers wife to the extent that she might make him suffer for it.

Our family is glad that we got SS involved and are mainly content with the outcome.

In your situation I think I’d follow a similar route.

I had suspicions about someone years ago in regard to an elderly relative.
I phoned social services Adult Care and explained why I was worried.
They investigated and reported back to me.
I never had any repercussions.

Make that call OnwardandUpward, you'd never forgive yourself if anything happens and you could have prevented it 😕

I realise that you’re very worried about B, and also very worried about A because you say A is vindictive. There is something extremely wrong about the whole situation and you are a good friend to B but nonetheless you must be a better friend. You have a responsibility to contact Social Services as soon as possible regardless of what A may say or do. If A threatens you then you will need to inform the police and tell A that you will do that. This lady is in a very dangerous situation. She cannot even get out of her house if there was a fire for example, and she cannot summon help because she cannot use a phone. It is imperative that Social Services are involved immediately to take this poor lady out of her life of total misery and abandonment.

I can't see B without A because B doesn't have door keys and can't open her own door. She doesn't answer the front door because she's not able to... it's complicated. She cannot use a phone so without A there's no contact.

And yes, I know it's needed. It's good if there's a way to contact social services anonymously as I don't want to be quoted. A can be very vindictive.

A friend has been in this situation and was able to contact Social Services anonymously.

Your friends welfare is more important than falling out with the relative, she will not know if you visit so cannot stop you.

I think it will be very difficult for you if something happens to your friend and you hadn’t contacted social services when it is obviously needed.

Thanks GSM. It does indeed and yet I know A will know it's me and be angry with me and that scares me a bit. There is only one person with actual power to change this and that's A, who refuses to.

I know that with MiL we had to sell the house to pay for dementia care. We were happy to do so as it wasn't our money and we were more invested in having peace of mind in doing the right thing than getting a big inheritance.

Thankyou for suggesting finding who is the registered owner of the house. I think if the deeds have changed hands it would be very disturbing seeing as B has had dementia for many years now. I will certainly and gladly pay the £3 to shed light on this as I seek to do the right thing.

I hope you are able to get help from social services. B’s current existence sounds dreadfully lonely and indeed dangerous. I’m sure that if something happened to B as a result of this neglect you would feel terrible.

It sounds as if B should be in a care home where she would be properly looked after and have company. This will entail social services making a financial assessment and I think it likely that this will show A has been taking or receiving a lot of money from B. It’s even possible that she has got B to transfer the house to her. You can find out who is the registered owner of the house online at search-property-information.service.gov.uk/. It costs £3 to download a copy of the title register.

Thankyou GermanshepherdsMum, it does seem that A is not acting in B's best interests (even with maybe the best intentions they are not actually able to)

I have suspected that A may have something to hide as has been gifted money many times I hear, but B has had dementia for many years so maybe does not have the ability to make sound financial decisions? Or perhaps A has been left the house so does not want it to be sold to pay for care. It seems highly suspicious to me that A says flatly "There is no money to pay for care" because I know if this was my parent or inlaw we would (and have) sold the house at the drop of a hat just to get essential care in place.

And yes, put like that, I have no other choice.

My concern for B would outweigh my worry of falling out with A, who is clearly not acting in B’s interests. I’m afraid my suspicion that A has something to hide as regards B’s finances and may want to protect a potential inheritance.

If B were an animal you would contact the RSPCA wouldn’t you?

No one at this time deals with her finances, bizarrely. A buys food and essential items for B and is recompensed by cheque, I believe. B has not had money for a long time and has no independance.

As far as I know bills are paid by standing order that was set up years ago and the house is owned. I cannot understand A's reluctance to activate POA and be able to use B's money to pay for care. It may mean selling the house, but it's a way of getting care, so I just try to get my head around why a relative would be so reluctant.

I am concerned about falling out with A because I think A would suspect me and might stop me seeing B...

I don't have any proof at all that A may have helped themselves, but B did tell me that they "helped out " A with money to repair their house a few years ago. The problem is, B has dementia and it's difficult to know what to believe.

What I do find odd is that A gets defensive when money is mentioned and refuses to activate POA because "there is no money for care". B is a wealthy person, so I do not understand this reluctance or denial of funds. A is the only person who has POA, so there is no one else who can help and B seems very distressed about being alone so often. B still has some mental capacity, apparently so maybe choosing not to have care. It seems like a complicated situation and I believe that social services already have some involvement.

Contact social services for a care assessment, if carers are needed the person that deals with her finances will have to pay the bill the same as they pay other bills

Are you prepared to contact social services about B’s needs? It’s clear that urgent action is needed to protect B.

Do you have grounds to suspect that A may have been helping themself to B’s savings?