grandparent contact

We usually saw my maternal grandma (the only one we had) about three times a year for a few days at a time. She lived about 3 hours away. Once we were older we’d often spend one half term or Whitsun with her on our own.

My own children saw their paternal grandparents fur a few hours once a fortnight and my own parents about every 6 weeks. It’s different t fur everyone though and there’s no rule.

I'd say it depends on the Grand parents and the Grand kids involved. I saw my Dad's mum once a year and cared deeply for her. My Mum's Mum I saw daily and couldn't have cared less about her.

OP - I am assuming you have some reason for asking this question. Perhaps you could say what this is, as it will make it easier for people to give helpful answers.

petra

At least the above BOT has a name 😁

👍🏻

At least the above BOT has a name 😁

Determining reasonable contact between grandparents and their grandchildren involves considering various factors, including the family’s dynamics, the children’s needs, and practical constraints. Here’s a general guideline to help establish a balanced and meaningful contact schedule for grandchildren aged 6 and 8:

During School Time
Weekday Visits

Frequency: Grandparents might see their grandchildren once or twice a week, depending on schedules.
Duration: Short visits, such as after school for an hour or two, are often suitable. This could be a time for a snack, play, or help with homework.
Weekend Visits

Frequency: Grandparents could spend part of one weekend day with their grandchildren.
Duration: A few hours or a full day can be planned, allowing for activities like outings, meals together, or fun projects.
Special Occasions

Frequency: Attend school events, birthdays, and other special occasions.
Duration: Presence during important milestones and celebrations can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories.
During School Holidays
Extended Visits

Frequency: More frequent visits or extended stays can be arranged during school holidays.
Duration: Grandparents might have their grandchildren stay overnight or for a few days, depending on the family’s agreement and the children’s comfort level.
Day Trips and Activities

Frequency: Plan day trips or special outings throughout the holidays.
Duration: These can be half-day or full-day events, providing opportunities for fun and educational experiences.
Flexible Scheduling

Frequency: Holidays offer flexibility, so visits can be adjusted based on family plans and preferences.
Duration: Ensure that visits do not disrupt any other planned activities or family time.
Guidelines for Reasonable Contact
Respect Parents’ Wishes: Ensure that any contact schedule aligns with the preferences and schedules of the parents. Open communication with parents is key.

Consider Children’s Needs: Keep in mind the children’s school schedules, extracurricular activities, and need for downtime. Balance visits to avoid over-scheduling.

Consistency: Aim for regularity and consistency in contact, as this helps maintain strong relationships and provides stability for the children.

Flexibility: Be adaptable and open to changes. Life’s circumstances can change, so having a flexible approach helps accommodate everyone’s needs.

Quality Over Quantity: Focus on creating meaningful and enjoyable experiences during the time spent together, rather than just the amount of time.

Health and Safety: Ensure that all interactions are safe and consider any health or travel restrictions.

Conclusion
Reasonable contact between grandparents and grandchildren should be balanced, regular, and adaptable to the family’s needs. By maintaining open communication with the parents, respecting the children’s schedules, and focusing on quality interactions, grandparents can foster strong and loving relationships with their grandchildren.

relatively infrequent contact need not be an indicator of a lack of a close relationship
And I can prove that!
If, as I did, you live at some distance from them, you will probably come to an arrangement with their parents for them to come to stay with you or vice versa. I used to enjoy going to visit both families and still have a great relationship with the grandchildren who are now young adults and rarely in the same place (or country) at the same time! I have moved to be closer to them all and now they can - and do - visit me whenever they choose. One DGD lived close to me when she was young and I saw her frequently throughout her schooldays and university and now I live in the same town as she does, with her partner and my delightful toddler DGGD. She's just texted to say they will come round tomorrow.

My granddaughter, 19, said yesterday that she sees me more than her parents! She lives semi-independently. When she was little, we lived further away and we were working, but we visited as often as possible, probably 8-10 times a year, but she came to stay in the summer holidays.
So relatively infrequent contact need not be an indicator of a lack of a close relationship.
I don’t know if this is relevant, as we have no context for the OP’s question.

GSM 👏

Another journalist looking for information?

Macadia

It is the parents who decide what is reasonable. Some parents want weekly visits, some monthly and some not at all. You can't have a relationship with GC without a good relationship with both parents. That will determine your visiting allowance.

Well put! The reasonable amount is whatever the parents deem it isn’t it ?

The OP asks what is reasonable contact. The question suggests conflict between parents and grandchildren
It’s a loaded question Family relationships are the only thing that matters. If there is mutual love, support and respect between the adults, all will be ok

Even at 6 and 8 years of age, I found with our grandchildren they preferred to play with their friends than visit grandparents and also it depends on the free time the parents have if they are working all week.

Also it all depends how near you live and if you can travel to visit them or if their parents have time to travel to visit you.

So many factors to take into consideration.

You can always Zoom them every few days if the children would like that. Now our grandchildren are teenagers I don't see much of them at all unless we have a family gathering and to be honest it does not bother me at all as long as they are healthy and happy.

To create a bond it needs to be consistent but as to the frequency that would be up to those involved, the parents schedule, if the children want contact and the availability of the grandparents.

Ultimately it is up to the parents.

It is an unusual question?

It is the parents who decide what is reasonable. Some parents want weekly visits, some monthly and some not at all. You can't have a relationship with GC without a good relationship with both parents. That will determine your visiting allowance.

My 3 children and grandchildren , live in the same town as me. But I see the boys’ children, about once a fortnight. I am not involved now, with school runs, as I was with my daughter’s children, who I saw 3 to 4 times a week.

If you tell us how much contact you're having with your GC during the holidays, that would help Coynegas.

And their ages count too. Our eldest (Step) grandson lives in Scotland so none of us see him that often. And he has a girlfriend. He's 24.

Littlest grandson is 5 and lives about 4 miles away. We see loads of him.

How long is a piece of string?

Without knowing more, how can anyone possibly answer?

So so many variables OP .....no such thing as reasonable....and all down to parents wishes ....I see 2 of mine 3 to 4 times a week ( they live close....i take them swimming once a week....their mum, my DD often sleeps over with them if her partner is working away) ....the other i see every 1 to 2 weeks ... she lives further away and lives with my DSs ex partner ..

I think that's an impossible question to answer without more information Coynegas Depends much on proximity, family relationships and much else.