Is anyone else struggling to find home care?

Does your mother have an adult care social worker who could help?

Oh no we don't, how do I access that service?

Have you tried Pairly.com? It's free and uses current availability to match you to care providers with capacity in your area.

Bridgett

Oh no we don't, how do I access that service?

You can phone them direct, by pressing whatever button leads to Adult Services, and ask them to come and assess your mum.
As her carer, you are entitled to ask for an assessment, and I presume things do fall to you to deal with?

You may have to be quite persistent, as they are usually quite prepared for someone to shoulder the problems.

My friend has been housebound since February due to excruciating back pain and blindness, all happened in one day, Monday she was fine, Tuesday she was housebound.

I was the one sorting out her GP and Nurses visits as her family said they were too busy, I was going with her in the patients ambulance to the hospital for tests but after two months of doing everything, even washing my friends hair and doing her shopping online for her I asked her for her two daughters and son in laws phone number and laid it out to them and told them I was not doing anything else and they had to take control.

They took control okay, getting Power of Attorney set up and handling all her money. They organised private home care, she gets showered twice a week, has meals delivered for lunch and tea, the District nurses pop in for blood tests etc. and she has a cleaner. My friend told me that one of her daughters organised private care from different outlets as some were more expensive than others but my friend has no idea what she is paying for only that her daughter now handles everything online.

I went to visit her the other day and asked if she had seen anyone and she told me she had only seen the care people who help her so when I arrived my friend had a list of things she wanted me to do, such as putting on the washing, hanging it out then going back to bring it in and fold it up, she asked me to iron it but I said no, her daughter should have organised all this as the people who come to her home only do what they are paid for so she needs extra care.

I rang her daughter and told her what was happening and she needed more help than the carers were giving her. She had the cheek to tell me that if anything was wrong, the people who deliver her meals would tell her but I told her that while her mother was asking me to do jobs for her then she would not tell her. I just said, she is not my responsibility and it was about time that they did her shopping for her, got someone to do her washing for her and give her more help than she is getting at the moment.

She put down the phone, I told my friend what I had done and she said thank you because she never saw her family, they have just left it to the carers. She has no idea what it is all costing or how much money she is now paying out monthly. She is a very intelligent woman but is kept out of the loop by her family telling her, don't worry about anything, we will deal with it all. If she wants to buy something she can't because she has no idea what her savings are at the moment so she has to ask me to text her family for them to get it for her.

I would absolutely hate not being in confrol of my life.

That's awful for the poor woman.
Lots of people say that having carers to deal with the nitty gritty parts of care leaves them free to enjoy their relationship with their loved one again.

It's so cold, your friend's situation, especially as it happened so quickly for her.

Bridgett your local authority Social Services should advise you, I’d also take guidance from Citizens Advice on any allowances she may be able to claim like Attendance Allowance - good luck.

I clean for quite a few elderly people. At least 3 had to stay in hospital for weeks then go into care homes for up to 6 months while waiting for home care.
Families did what they could but as they all worked full time and had young families they couldn't offer full care needed

Sorry I should have said this was after joint replacement surgery

I gave up on agencies. I put notices on Facebook and NextDoor so I could employ my own staff to help. I had 3 girls on the books and they were brilliant. As Mum's needs increased, I was lucky they were happy to do extra hours. Although I took on a cleaner and Gardener too, the girls also helped my Mum's partner cope with tidying and cleaning in between whiles when my Mum refused to have care.
I used a PAYE service to do their taxes and everything to do with their employment. When my mother went into hospital and later a Care Home, I carried on paying them to help sort out my Mum's house for selling. At a very stressful time, it was wonderful to have support from them. I remain in touch with them 3 years later.
Agency staff kept changing and Mum needed consistent care. Agency staff refused to do certain jobs, our carers were just wonderful. Agency staff kept changing the times they came in whilst our staff were consistent. If I was in that position again, I'd employ again.
Social Services did get involved because they helped with a Carer's Assessment for my Mum's partner. Although we had to fund everything, they were really helpful in arranging respite care and ensuring that her partner was safe too.

Adult Social Care will only help if they are funding, self funders are very much left to find their care home themselves, although they will provide a list of care homes in the area. Has your mother been assessed as to what she requires? Care Home Nursing Home or a facility for Dementia? They are all different and you can see how they are registered by checking their CQC report on line. When you find a care home you like get your mother's name on the waiting list, they get vacancies all the time as people sadly die. They would also be able to give you some idea of how long the wait may be. Some have empty rooms but not staff capacity to take any more residents. There is a great shortage of help out there. Would you consider a live in carer or two for your mother, you may be able to start off with that until a suitable place turns up. Good luck.

Ziggy62

Sorry I should have said this was after joint replacement surgery

That would be my choice too, although not everyone has the time or are able to do all this work which is involved.Good post.

Bridgett. You do not need a social worker if you are self funding. This applies to to care homes also.

win

Adult Social Care will only help if they are funding, self funders are very much left to find their care home themselves, although they will provide a list of care homes in the area. Has your mother been assessed as to what she requires? Care Home Nursing Home or a facility for Dementia? They are all different and you can see how they are registered by checking their CQC report on line. When you find a care home you like get your mother's name on the waiting list, they get vacancies all the time as people sadly die. They would also be able to give you some idea of how long the wait may be. Some have empty rooms but not staff capacity to take any more residents. There is a great shortage of help out there. Would you consider a live in carer or two for your mother, you may be able to start off with that until a suitable place turns up. Good luck.

That is the case in some areas but not all. My Mum was completely self funding but the Social Worker was fantastic.

My DS set up a contract with Bluebird after my bowel cancer operation. I was able to ask the carers to do things like put the washing on, do some ironing, make a hot drink or a sandwich, as well as cleaning. The carers were young men and women from all over the world, Pakistan, India, Zimbabwe, Lithuania... also one or two Brits. All were unfailingly respectful, but somewhat varied in skill level.
It was expensive but only for a few weeks while I recovered.

I don't know if the following will be any help but here goes.

My very efficient daughter in law organised care at home for her disabled mother, who lives near her in a small Midlands town.
My daughter in law has power of attorney and offered good wages via local advertising to local carers, better than the agencies pay, so she got the carers. The old lady is not rich BTW. My daughter in law is an exceptionally good people -manager and she instructed the private carers what to do for her mother and arranged for them to learn from professionals how to work the hoist and so on. She now has a flexible reliable friendly team in place. The old lady is happy, carers are happy , daughter is happy.

I just thought in your case you may be able to tell your old lady friend's children that private advertising for local carers can get results.

icanhandthemback

I gave up on agencies. I put notices on Facebook and NextDoor so I could employ my own staff to help. I had 3 girls on the books and they were brilliant. As Mum's needs increased, I was lucky they were happy to do extra hours. Although I took on a cleaner and Gardener too, the girls also helped my Mum's partner cope with tidying and cleaning in between whiles when my Mum refused to have care.
I used a PAYE service to do their taxes and everything to do with their employment. When my mother went into hospital and later a Care Home, I carried on paying them to help sort out my Mum's house for selling. At a very stressful time, it was wonderful to have support from them. I remain in touch with them 3 years later.
Agency staff kept changing and Mum needed consistent care. Agency staff refused to do certain jobs, our carers were just wonderful. Agency staff kept changing the times they came in whilst our staff were consistent. If I was in that position again, I'd employ again.
Social Services did get involved because they helped with a Carer's Assessment for my Mum's partner. Although we had to fund everything, they were really helpful in arranging respite care and ensuring that her partner was safe too.

With private care-agencies, I think the most important employee is the Accounts Manager.

Apologies for being cynical, and I'm sure there are some decent agencies who deliver an acceptable standard of care; but it's a commoditised 'industry' nevertheless.

Social Services did get involved because they helped with a Carer's Assessment for my Mum's partner. Although we had to fund everything, they were really helpful in arranging respite care and ensuring that her partner was safe too.

I also found Adult Social Services very helpful too. The initial assessment for my OH was conducted by a woman who was very friendly - gave me lots of information and suggestions.

Bridget - I think you should contact them.

The family it seems are simply leaving it to the carers to deal with your friend and, as long as they don't hear from them, assume that everything's OK. Which clearly it isn't.

I appreciate that they might lead busy lives, but between them I'm sure they could manage a visit, if only once a week to sort out her washing, shopping etc.

When my late mother was ill, I was a single parent working very long hours, full-time, but I still managed to see her twice a week and do those life-admin jobs. It just meant giving up some of my free-time. However, I have to admit that my mother was a very patient, un-demanding, and co-operative person, and that helps enormously...

PS Sorry I should have said the above was mainly meant for TopGunner. However it seems that privately employed carers are still available if wages are good enough.

When I needed help I contacted a local care agency. Luckily I had a friend whose daughter worked for them so it was just a matter of making a phone call. I had a young lady came to see me from the agency and we went through my needs which did not include personal care.. I just wanted someone to do cleaning look after my home and local shopping. I have a main online Morrisons shop once a month. I have a carer two hours on Friday and an hour on Tuesday and I pay £30 an hour as thats about all I can afford at the moment. I’m very satisfied with the care I get we had one or two blips along the way, but I now have a regular lady who comes and has now got used to me and my funny ways. When my husband was so ill before he went into the nursing home I had community care but it wasn’t something we liked. I also have a gardener and window cleaner who came on recommendations I think you have to be careful who you trust and always remember they are not your friend they work for you but I always have a five minute chat with them and thank them when they’ve done a good job.