Help no POA do not know what to do next

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Ring the Court of Protection - they are very helpful and will advise.

If you have a will, the writers will now encourage you t take out a POA

I have POA for my mum and it’s difficult enough with one.

If you are not well enough please don’t let anyone pressure you into doing it.

I have a diary devoted to the POA and write everything I do for mum in it and attach all receipts on the relevant page.I was advised to do this by my solicitor.

Golden Boy!!

Old people who refuse to grant P of A are IMO very selfish - lack of one can cause so many problems, hassle and extra expense.

My DM had actually put an old style P of A in place well before she developed dementia, but by the time she did have it, and we needed to activate it*, she’d become very suspicious and thought we were trying to steal her money.

*among other things, a cheque for £4k had gone missing, and we never did find out how. We learned from the issuing org. that it had been cashed, by whom we never could find out.

Luckily my brother (aka her Golden Not - not that I mean that in a derogatory way, he did more than his share) was able to get tough with her - ‘Sign here or else!’
Managing her affairs otherwise would have been far more of a PITA.

Contact Age UK or Citizen's Advice. They will be able to help you.

I had exactly this, my Mother refused to appoint me as POA as she thought I was stealing from her😱.

She went senile overnight and was admitted to hospital then a nursing home.

I applied to the Court of Protection to get guardianship ( I was her only surviving child).
The form took me 2/3 days to complete but a solicitor will charge around £800.
It wasn’t easy but it’s doable.

Whilst waiting the many months for deputyship I got all her finances together and made an appointment with her bank.
They were incredibly helpful.
They got everything lined up so within 48 hours of being appointed deputy I had control.

I had pretended to be her on the phone to stop the very many standing orders to charities and appliance insurance, Sky etc stopped, wrong I know but her account was haemorrhaging money.
I saved her nearly £500 a month.

I also got in touch with Adult Services, they arranged a deferred payment scheme so the nursing home would be paid once deputyship came through.
This wasn’t straightforward and I ended up with final demands for 10’s of thousands of pounds.
Fortunately I had an email trail so I could prove they had made an error.

I also succeeded in getting her the full attendance allowance which was paid into her bank account.

I eventually got her house sold, although until deputyship arrived legally I shouldn’t have even been inside.

It was a very difficult time for me, I had panic attacks, felt enormously let down by her as always and had a devil of a job sorting her finances, the stress took its toll.

I would urge anyone reading this to get a POA in place, I wouldn’t put anyone though the pain.

It can be done online for around £100.

I stress never stole a thing from her!

A big shout out to HSBC they were beyond professional and even sent me a bouquet of flowers after my first meeting.

Thanks everyone. I will contact AGE UK.

Should have thought of them but mind is such a muddle.

THANKS

I would suggest speaking to Age UK or similar but please be aware that solicitors will charge an arm and a leg to administer the estate

My friend’s Aunt argued against going into a Care Home and appointed her Solicitor to act for her (her children declined)in Court. She really didn’t have capacity to consent, so the Solicitor administered her finances etc. and charged a hefty amount for so doing. One thing that arose was that Aunty wanted to pay for an operation for her son, but the Solicitor denied that, saying her money was solely for her care and wellbeing,

I suggest you contact AgeUk for advice.

I had to apply for guardianship for mum as she didn't have poa. The social work department put a lot of pressure on family to do it and I was the only one who would. If you don't want to do it, be very clear from the start you are not doing it. Social work then will apply for it instead. I am in Scotland and it took a full year to get it approved. It's quite onerous in that you need to have audits done and keep careful account of her money.

The Court of Protection steps in when there is disagreement amongst interested parties as to the best action for the person who has lost capacity. For instance, if you want to pay the fees from her bank account and the bank says they will not do this without her permission.

In that case you can apply to the Court to have permission either to simply pay fees or to take over management of her whole finances.

The first would go through pretty much on the nod - “in letters” almost certainly without a hearing. The second is obviously a bigger request and would depend on whether any other members of the family objected to your doing that.

If you or any one else in the family don’t want to do it at all the Court will appoint an independent deputy who will manage her financial affairs. Usually in the legal profession. Obviously there will be a significant charge for this.

So you must decide whether you apply to be her Deputy and have access to her finances or just to have permission to ensure her Care home fees are paid. And fill in the forms to say exactly what it is you are applying for.

In the final analysis if you decide you don’t want to do either of those it will be up to the Care home to make that application to receive their fees. Or, of course, decide they cannot continue with her care.

The Court of Pritection is generally very helpful. Age UK will also be able to advise you. I hope you’re able to get things sorted and get back to sorting out your own health problems.

If there is no one who can be a deputy the court of protection can allocate a panel deputy.

I had a quick look online. A deputy needs to be appointed, So suggest you contact the court of protection and explain your situation. Is there anyone else who is trustworthy who could take this on? I hope you can get this sorted out.